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  1. #1
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    Default My life has changed all of a sudden and I didn't see it coming....

    I don't know what to do. My DH was upset that I asked for another baby even though we're currently pregnant but it was his idea too he just chaged his mind. He got angry when I sent an email to him about it and said he'd talk when he got home as he works away. When he got home he asked to talk one night at about 11.30pm and I had to work at 7 in the morning and I have three kids at home so asked if it could wait till tomorrow (oh and my mums stays and looks after the kids while I work so I wanted it to be private). So the next day he treats he harsh and doesn't speak so I message him during the day and ask if there's something wrong and he says I just want to talk about the baby and some other stuff so I message back what stuff I didn't know there was other stuff and he says thats why I wanted to talk last night. So i ring him as I don't wanna message this stuff and he says he loves me but doesn't know how he feels and he isn't sure this is what he wants anymore (being with me) I ask him why he says he's felt this way for a while and he has been making good changes in his life and he just feels different now. Anyway we spoke that night and got some things out and he promised to stay and we would both try so we had 2 great weeks. Then we celebrated our anniversary of meeting 11 years before and he seemed a bit distant but I just tried to work with him but it got the better of me and I cried a few times in the days after and probably got annoying about it but I'm 24wks pregnant and can't help but get emotional. He started to get distant again and then he had the discussion again about how he doesn't know how he feels and that he could move into his parents and be just as good a dad form there and be here to help for the kids as much as I need but he works away and doesn't have time for the kids now and I want him to see how it won't be the same.
    I'm confused he away for another night (this will be the second night in a row since then) and I rang him yesterday and begged and ****ed him off so I am tryingt hard to give him some space until he comes home tomorrow. I cannot imagine living without him and I want us to work at this for the kids as well as ourselves. He said he doesn't want marriage councelling so I just have to wait and see if he gives me the chance to try with him to work this out. I don't hate him and we have both been selfish in the past which has made us distant at times but it's so hard knowing I will soon have 4 kids by myself and have lost the man that I have been with for 11 years (the only man I have been with in my life), my soul mate, my best friend and the father of my children . Please can someone who's been through this help.
    Sorry it's so long but needed to get it all out.
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry...

    I don't really know what to say but I had to write something..

    Mid life crisis?

    My husband had the same type of thing with me last year..we've been together 11years too..

    I knew he was being unusual so I chose to suck it up and ride the wave out.. He came through it in the end..

    Men can be emotional creatures too..

    I just kept the house running as normal, meals washing etc .. Hid my worries and tried to give him space..
    I also developed more of my own life and made sure he knew about it.

    Good luck I hope it all turns out ok xxx

  3. #3
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    Hugs - just saw your post ... Hope everything is ok ??

  4. #4
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I just saw this...I have been through the exact same thing - my stomach turned reading it, because I remember that dreadful feeling of heartbreak; the sick feeling when you find out your other half wants something else is so overwhelming. I'm so sorry. I would love to come back later and reply at length when I'm on the pc. Many, many hugs

  5. #5
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    i would suggest seeing a counsellor on your own, for some support and suggestions on how to deal with your partner.
    to me it sounds like depression or a midlife crisis for sure *hugs*

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    I am so sorry your going through this! I really have no advice as I've never been in your situation but I couldn't read and not reply.

    There are a few other ladies who have been through simillar and I'm sure they will have some advice?

    x x

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    how did it go? I hope you are ok?


 

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