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  1. #1
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    Default extremely traumatic first birth.... terrified for the arrival of my second

    hey mummies
    so in 2010 i gave birth to my beautiful boy at 9lb 61/2oz.
    VERY LONG STORY. please bare with me im desperate.
    i hada VERY long labour and a long delayed second stage of 3 hours,
    after my son and frequent was finally delivered by kiwi cup. i had an episiotomy and tore thru it. 3rd degree tear. the dr performed bi manual compression twice(basically held my uterus shut with his hand) i had a significant post partum bleed. and was given no transfussion. i had severe bladder damage as my catheter was not removed as my son was birthd and then was finally removed before i had sensation in legs from my epidural. 2 x bladder stretch injuries of 1 litre and then a catheter for 4 weeks post birth. very traumatic and had no real counselling after. its been 2 years and i had great physio treat,ment and some of the top bladder specialists work with me. although for 2 years i have had no bladder sensation and frequent spontanious bladder void. no known rectal sphincter damage.

    now with my 2nd baby i am really struggling to feel excited as i am completely terrified. my partner and i paid alot of money to see an ob/gyn specialist privately. who said there should be no reason for definite c section. but that it may happen but to aim for vaginal delivery.
    but just recieved some hurtful abrupt words from a consultant that said i was silly for bothering with a vaginal delivery.(which i really want to try) im early second trimester. and was told by this person 1 in 10 chance of sphincter damage.
    i want to know others stories with 3rd degree tears and vaginal births of second babies after a tear. i am terrified and REALLY want to make an informed decision...(if csection is necessary so be it, but would like the chance to make the choice)

    thank you in advance please good stories as well as bad in desperate need of support .. none of my friends have kids and dont know who to go to for advice.

    thank you in advance.

  2. #2
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    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    Hi Mummahoot.

    Sorry to hear of your traumatic birth I have a story very similar to yours... Very similar but I'm feeding a newborn and typing one handeds a pain...so will come back later and type it up...

  3. #3
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    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    But quickly, I had a 3B tear from an instrumental delivery with a resulting neurogenic bladder which required indwelling catheters with a long recovery time.

    But I just birthed 3 weeks ago with no stitches required - so its possible.

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    I'm surprised you didn't seek legal advice after your first birth. From what you've written, it sounds as though there were quite a few major stuff ups that would have warranted that.

    I would definitely go and see the counselling service at the hospital.

    When I had some idiot nurse give me medication she wasn't supposed to and I had to be resuscitated, when I was due to give birth again, I attended the in-hospital counselling service. They were great in not only alleviating my fears but assigned me a counsellor to see me through the process and actually arranged a birth team who were cognisant and sympathetic to my history. They also hooked me up with other mothers who'd had similar experiences via ante natal classes which also really helped.

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    my first birth was traumatic, lots of intervention, long 2nd stage followed by episiotomy and vaccuum.

    i recently had my 2nd baby at home, baby was over 10lb and labour was much shorter with no injuries.

    choosing my care providers and having trust in them were so important. knowing better positions to labour and birth in helped baby to be born without injury to either of us.

    best wishes for a wonderful birth

  7. #6
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    I had a 3rd degree tear & very traumatic birth with my first. It has left me with weak rectal muscles (the muscles in my rectm were torn) & has caused a lot of issues which i am too embarrassed to mention on here. I can have it surgically repaired but don't like the thought of someone operating on my butt so i just manage the best i can & deal with it. However, when i was pg with my second, i was told to have a c - section due to my previous 'injuries' so i sought a second opinion & the doc said he was happy for me to try for a vag delivery if that was what i wanted, but he did make it clear that there was an increased risk of me tearing again. Anyway, everything went perfectly ! I had a short labour & pushed her out in 10 mins (with lots of guidance & support from the midwives) & didn't tear at all.
    I am now 26 weeks pg with number 3 & i look forward to a vag delivery this time as well.

    Good luck with your decision

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    Default thanks

    i have seeked some legal advise and am in the VERY long process of taking action, as far as im aware i didnt have rectal muscle damage... and have had no rectal incontinance since 3 days after the birth of my son on 2010, however my bladder is a completely different story as i said had a catheter in for 4 weeks after my birth and now have permanent damage no sensation and spontanious full bladder voids, VERY humiliating being oly21. but believe im helping keep tenna( the pads company) in business,lol(if i dont make a joke id probably cry) along with the major bladder damage i time void every 4 hours and if i miss or forget BIG accidents but on top of that as my bladder doesnt empty completely i get reccurrent major kidney infection slowly causing kidney damage, in and out of hospital ever 6-2 weeks sucks big time but still trying to make the decision from what ive been told the abrupt decision made by the dr was to protect the hospital coz of the action im taking from myfirst birth(different hospital) but i personally dont think a decision should be made on that and if all u women have succeded in vaginal births with the same increased risk as me i dont see why i shouldnt at least be given the respect to discuss it as an option obviously i dont want permanent rectal damage but id much prefer a vaginal delivery than a ceaser if i can avoid it. im so scared and emotional this time as i never seek counselling last time becasue i was so messed up n exhausted. just wanted to pretend like it wasnt happening. still looking for other stories though THANK YOU SO MUCH helping me know that im not wrong or crazy for wanting another try to BIRTH RIGHT this time

  9. #8
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    I think you need to focus on doing some retraining of the bladder. Have you been admitted into the hospitals continence clinic?

    I was supported by them so very well and we worked with the physio to do retraining of the bladder and I found I was no longer symptomatic bladder wise some months after.

    Also, I went to an osteopath who moved my bladder back into place (when you have major retention - the bladder becomes misshaped and is moved around in your body to accommodate the size) which help with some further physical symptoms I was having (a pinch at the end of a void).

    The kidney infection sounds worrying. I had a major one that resulted in blood through the catheter for weeks. Anytime I felt like an infection was coming I hit the Vitamin C really hard.like a tsp every hour on the hour until you get the runs... It's a great infection fighter. If you don't already maybe consider some alternative remedies like a natropath or a homeopath who can prescribe some bladder support.

    All the best again..

  10. #9
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    With first I have a 3rd degree. Tore throw first layer of muscle and 2nd layer was holding on my by a tiny little bit. Had surgery right after. I was unable to have sex for 6 months and had to have check ups every 6 weeks. I couldn't use a tampon or have sex as it felt like I was tearing again. I suffer from thick scaring.
    The first time I had sex again I fell pregnant with dd.
    I was given the options to have c section or natural with the high risk of blowing my poo poo tube and having to have a bag the rest of my life. For me I couldn't do a c section as I would have a 15 month baby ad new born to look after. I chose to go natural again...


    I was induced at 40 weeks 6 days. I had my daughter and only have a slight tear. I didn't even get a stitch!

    I did have to do some "stretching" of the area (finger in baby hole and pull down and hold(does hurt a little but you control how far) and rub the bit between there and your bum (to rough up and break down the area) )

    Hope this helps!

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    Hi Mummahoot. So sorry for what you're going through, sounds awful. Just thought I'd share my positive story to give you some hope!

    My first resulted in an episiotomy plus third degree tear and bub being born with ventouse. I had a catheter in for several days post delivery My stitches broke down and I eventually had repair surgery. Was in a lot of pain for quite a while.

    My second bub was a fast birth. I had gas only (had pethadine, gas and epidural with first). I had a first degree tear only, and this happened along my old scar line which was almost a given. Was actually bub's shoulder which tore me, with the help of a great MW I birthed his head with no tearing.

    My OB was great in that he supported me in my own decision. Lots of MWs suggested I book in a c section. He was also very thorough with measuring bub's head along the way, he was also keen to not let the second labour get too long and out of hand as the first was basically one disaster after another...

    Anyway - I'd suggest finding MW and/or OB who are really understanding and supportive. They really helped me mentally and physically.

    Good luck! I hope your #2 is as great an experience as mine


 

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