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  1. #1
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    Default Behaviour questions 18months-2years ages please :)

    I am hoping a few of you can help me out with a few questions about your littlie. Preferably in the age group 18 months to 2 years (which is where my daughter fits in age groups) I have recently had a few issues with my daughter, her behaviour and how I cope with it. I am currently seeing a counsellor to work on my own issues and try and get on top of my stress levels etc. My counsellor is putting me in touch with some parent support groups and I have an appt booked with my CHN next week. I realise every child is going to be different and that it isnt great to compare children as they all develop differently, but I just want to ask a few questions so I can get the most out of the support I am getting. Basically I am trying to work out whether the issues we are having are unusual for this age and whether we need to look at things related to that or whether what is happening at my house is completely normal at the same age group in which case the problem is more likely me and the way I cope with it and my reaction to it - which will then help me to get them to give me some help in the activities I am doing with her and my responses to what is going on if you know what I mean? Anyhow here goes - so things I want to know are:

    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?

    What are their energy levels like?

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?


    Thanks for your answers in advance

  2. #2
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    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    Depends on his mood, some days we'll go out for breakfast and he sits still the whole time, other times we get 5 minutes.


    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    Again depends on mood, some days 10, then we can go a week or two with none. It also depends on what else is going on in his world, has he had lots of busy days, going through a growth spurt etc ...


    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?

    My house isn't baby proofed. He knows what he can and can't touch.


    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?

    8 times out 10 yes.


    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?

    8 times out of 10 yes.


    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?


    Yes.



    What are their energy levels like?

    Huge! He does.not.stop until the second before he falls asleep.


    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?

    Sometimes. He's at an age where he's learning who he is and what he does and doesn't like. He's learning autonomy. One week we couldn't get him to have a bath, so didn't have one. I just wiped him down. The next week he refused to wear shoes.

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.

    No. He's Houdini and gets out of every seat.


    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?


    Yes. I can leave the room for long periods of time.


    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?

    Depends on his mood. Some days he needs no warning, other days it will take him forever ..




    *** end of transmission ***

  3. #3
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    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant? My kids are coming up on 3 but its only been recently that they'll sit at the table while out & eat. Other wise they're running around. I dont expect them to sit any longer than 5 minutes unless it really interests them.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week? At least 1 a day each. May not be a major meltdown but they'll fight with each other or me.

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything? Babyproofed, even now. If we dont want them in something we lock them out.

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something? 8/10 times, J will push the limits & keep trying

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on? God no!

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum? 50/50, i dont normally tell them im going any where. They'll come looking for me if im wanted. Its easier to wait till they're in bed unless it can be done super quick.

    What are their energy levels like? Roof the roof! They dont stop

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep? Car is own major one now everyones toilet trained. Either dont want to get in or dont want to get out.

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat. For the most part, i only worry when someone is yelling, than when possible pull over & sort them out. Kids are having a hard time learning that i cant stop cause someone has dropped something.

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be? I cant trust them, they know them limits but its taken a long time to get to this point.

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?
    Slow & steady wins the race in this house & concistancy. They know after breakfast we get dressed. If we're going any where that day, i tell them during breakfast & we'll going to XYZ after we do ABC.

  4. #4
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    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant? Pretty good. I just met a friend for coffee for 2 hours, and DD was good. She sat in a highchair for some of it, and hung around near our armchairs/ table playing with toys for the rest. She could look at books for a long time, as she loves doing that.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?She hasn't really had a tantrum yet. She has the odd squeal/ throwing something, but stops when told off. I await that day...!

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?The lounge is babyproofed, and we've removed knives/ medicines/ cleaning stuff from the kitchen, but otherwise it's not babyproofed. She stopped being so into everything at around 10mths, and is pretty good at knowing what she should or shouldn't do now. I can go into another room/ upstairs and leave her to play okay.

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something? Yes, and we have to do this a lot!

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?Yes, although she will sometimes be cheeky and repeat "NO!" in a cross voice and then giggle.

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?Yes, she plays alone for some periods of every day.

    What are their energy levels like? Average. Moments of high energy, and then gets tired from 3pm onwards. Has 0 or 1 nap a day (but when it's 0 she really needs one). Holds off sleeping during the day if she can. Goes to bed early every night.

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep? No, never had issues with these things.

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.Yes, she reads books or sings.

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be? No, she knows what she should/ shouldn't do and is usually pretty reliable. I leave her alone (in the house) for periods of every day (e.g., she's playing in lounge and I'm in kitchen/ upstairs getting ready to go out).

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrum? No. She likes going out, and is always keen to do something that might be more interesting!


  5. #5
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    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    DD1 could sit for hours at coffee shops, sit patiently while I read books, etc. DD2 only maybe 30 minutes and always flicks through books before I can finish.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    Maybe one every few days?

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?

    Into eveything!

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?

    Sometimes...

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?

    Often but not always.

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?

    Usually help.

    What are their energy levels like?


    High!

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?

    DD1 was toilet trained at 2, but I think did go through a difficult period of having a tantrum when she had to hop in her carseat. Slept well. DD2 was not toilet trained but would only wear the pull up nappies. Fine in the car and awful with sleep... quite opposite!

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.

    Yes.

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?

    Um, no, they are fine for a little bit.

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?

    No, I would just grab them and go.

    Hope that helps.

  6. #6
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    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    Depends on his mood, he is mostly okay, but we take a lot of stuff to distract him while there - books toys etc.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    Depends on how much sleep he has had, if he is tired is moods are worse, of course he is also a grump if he is hungry

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?
    We have minimal babyproofing, in general he is really good, but if he wants attention he knows how to get it by getting into all the naughty things

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?
    Depends, if he REALLY wants to do it, he'll do it - very strong willed!

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?
    Not often - same as above, if I take his hand and lead him to a new activity yes

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?
    Cooking dinner no, mostly he helps with the housework, I like to get him involved to make him feel important

    What are their energy levels like?
    He goes and goes and goes

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?
    No, he knows. But ladies in my mother groups still have problems with nappy changing

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.
    Yep. Mostly he talks to me

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?

    Yep.

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out
    Yep, and if he's extra pre-occupied and refusing to listen I tell him I'm going to leave without him

  7. #7
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    DS is 19 months..

    Wat is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    As others have said it depends on his mood..sometimes something will hold his attention for ten minutes, sometimes ten seconds! He is very active so if its something like a quick coffee at the shops he will get cranky if hes in his pram and cant walk around (unless i buy him food in which case thatll hold his attenion for 15 mins or so) but if i let him down he will want to run riot. Drawing and playdoh will keep his interest for about 10 - 15 minutes at a time but i need to be there interacting with him or he gets bored quicker.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    A few a day, generally when he is tired (he is not a good sleeper though so thats quite often). Also if he has had busy days/been sick/teething etc he will be very difficult.

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?

    I have baby gates blocking entry to all rooms so he can only access the living area/kitchen and his room. He is generally pretty good but there are a few things that he knows he isnt allowed to touch but still continually does (he ejects the tray of the dvd player and fiddles around with the dvds and leans on the tray, plays with the power points which have the baby protector things in and at the moment he climbs on everything and anything)

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?

    Most of the time but we have some days where he is just a nightmare. Those days he gets three warnings then spends a bit of time in his room to calm down

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on

    As above

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?
    Somethings yes. He LOVES helping with the vacuuming. And hell "help" make the bed. Ill fold the washing up (with it on the table out of his reach) but he will help sort the dirty washing.. In other words pull it out all over the floor. He loves watching you cook so its difficult to do when hes awake as he wants to be picked up to watch. Putting him in his highchair with a snack sometimes helps as he can see and i will have both hands free

    What are their energy levels like?
    Very high, he never stops. He is very active. If we dont go out sometime during the day he will go a bit nuts so i try and go out every day


    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting

    It varies. He hates nappy change time. He is generally good getting in and out of the car because he gets excited we are going out. Sleep time is a nightmare but we have always struggled there. Meal times are generally ok but sometimes he will just scream. He went through a phase of hating bath time but is ok now. If he is tired everything is difficult

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.

    Nope. He tries to escape.. Invested in a "houdini stop" strap which goes on the car seat and generally works at keeping him in but he sill.manages to escape at times. He will also scream maybe once in five times. Lately he has also discovered that he can flick DDs capsule with his dummy chain too :/

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be

    I feel comfortable going to the toilet etc and leaving him in the main room. Ill leave the door open and hell generally end up coming in too. If hes having a bad day then no i cant turn my back but thankfully thats not too often

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?

    I am quite organised so im generally all ready to go and get him ready early. Generally he loves going out so any car trip hes quite happy with

    HTH

  8. #8
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    DS is 19 months

    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?
    DS can pay attention for quite a long time - if I'm getting a coffee then he has to have something to drink or share mine if I get a milkshake or whatever. As long as attention is being paid to him then he will remain happy.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?
    DS has 2 or 3 tantrums a day, they are generally very mild though and usually only happen if he is tired, hungry or sick.

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?
    DS is blocked off from the kitchen/garage/laundry part of our house and also our bedroom. We find it hard to keep him out of some drawers and underneath the computer desk.

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?
    Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes we need to take him or the thing away.


    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?
    No! DS isn't very good with no or any other audio cue.

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?
    I plan all my housework activities for the times when he is watching tv. I also give him a snack of sultanas and a drink of water. He will still often come over to the kitchen and want some attention or ask for some more food or something.

    What are their energy levels like?
    high, he's constantly on the go and loves being let loose at the park etc.

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?
    He is a very good sleeper and goes down on his own. We have to catch him for a nappy change and he's sometimes quite wiggly.

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.
    Sometimes he gets upset about being in the car and starts squealing and yelling...I have to divide my attention between driving and calming him down with singing etc

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?
    If the door to the bedroom was open then yes...or if he had access to somewhere that he shouldn't be then he would be there very quickly...and he would giggle as he ran there.

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?
    No, but I will often tell him that we will go in the car soon or something like that.

  9. #9
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    Thank you for all your replies - its is really helping me get a bit of a clearer idea I think. My daughter is 20 months. I will answer the questions myself and give a bit of info so you can see why I am asking.

    What is/was your childs attention span like at this age? Can they sit through a straight forward activity like reading a story/drawing/a quick coffee at the shops? Significant eg half hour? 5 minutes? Non-existant?

    Not long at all - unless she is tired she cannot sit through a book reading without jumping around, cannot sit in front of a tv show and just watch it. Can be distracted with playdough or colouring but usually an absolute maximum of 5 mins. Cannot have a coffee out, eg the other week I went for a coffee - took a bowl of food with me, a book to read, a toy and a colouring book/crayons. And in less than 10 minutes we were having a screaming meltdown.

    On average how many tantrums would you say they would have in a day/week?

    At the minute it is multiple times a day. Today it was 3, yesterday about 3-4. This is a good week this week. At times it can be much much more.

    Is your house baby-proofed enough, eg with normal babyproofing are they fine or are they still into absolutely everything?

    When she started walking we did a standard babyproof eg baby gates where necessary, child locks on cupboards. We have now had to remove all dining chairs to avoid climbing, have duct taped our kitchen draws shut and have now had to board up the gaps between the draws because she was climbing on the bench/kitchen table. Those measures still havent stopped her - now she just scales the cupboards/walls/window frames like spiderman.

    Are you able to use distraction effectively to stop them doing something?

    No. It does work in that she will let me lead her away from whatever she is doing that I would rather she isnt doing, but 5 seconds later she is back doing the same thing. Again and again and again

    If you tell them no for whatever reason and direct them onto something else will they listen and move on?

    Nope ^ as above

    Can you do housework/baking etc at some point in the day and your LO will happily play alone or help out without having a tantrum?

    Nope. I am at the point where I dont bother/cant do housework in the day etc as she will either climb inside the dishwasher/climb the bench/cling to my legs and climb them while I am doing something. Yesterday it took me over an hour to load the dishwasher because I had to keep moving her away, or stop her climbing on the door and had to shut the door after every single item went in. If she is sleeping thats when I get stuff done. If I am cooking I can only if I put her in a chair to watch/help stir, but that results in a tantrum once we have to stop and finish what we are doing.

    What are their energy levels like?

    very high. Has a decent sleep in the middle of the day, but when awake is full on from go to woah. On one day last week when I had trouble getting her down to sleep she spent about 4 hrs at home crying, tantrumming and running around the house. Then we went to the playcentre for 4 hrs where she climbed/ran around to her hearts content and then she still came home and didnt crash until and hour later than she normally would have.

    Do you have still have big issues with everyday things such as nappy changes, getting into/out of a car, getting them to sleep?

    Yep, frequent tantrums at nappy change time, although I am trying to TT at the minute so that has cut a lot of those tantrums as she is running nude Often tantrums getting into the car, sometimes has issues with sleep. Generally sleeps all night but can often take over an hour to get her to sleep even after a full on day.

    Driving – Are you able to drive and fully concentrate on your driving without having to be worried about what the child is doing in the backseat.

    No - to be honest I often worry about having an accident because my attention is half betwen the front and the back. Have to take toys/books with us to avoid meltdowns but so far I have had 2 choking incidents in the car (one on food given to distract, one on I have no idea what), yesterday I had to pull over because she was poking her toy train through her eye. She also climbs out of the car seat and so I bought a Houdini stop. Most of the time that contains her, sometimes she still gets out of that and then tries to open the door.

    Can you take your eyes off them for a minute without worrying about what they are up to? I'm not talking about not supervising them or anything I mean say you turned your back for a minute or two to wash your hands, or to take food out of the oven etc etc would they be into stuff straight away that they shouldnt be?

    On some days yes on some days no. At the minute if I even go to the toilet I come back to her standing on the kitchen bench/tv entertainment unit. etc The other day I had dinner in the oven and she went near it so I moved her away and said no hot we dont touch, turned my back for a sec to check the pikelets I was cooking on the stove and she had put her hand on the oven and hurt herself (luckily not badly)

    Do they take a long time to switch to another thing – eg if you have to go out do you have to give a LOT of notice to getting ready etc in order for them to get out without tantrums?


    Yes. This morning it took me over 45 mins to get a jumpsuit and shoes on her to go to Toddler Jam. This also involved a tantrum because she didnt want to stop what she was doing, a tantrum because she didnt want her nappy changed and then another one because she didnt want me to brush her hair. This is pretty typical.


    Ok so thats that. I "feel" like its pretty full on. Especially when the other mums in my MG etc come for a visit and dont have this problem, happily go out and socialise, tell their kids no and they stop etc. I am absolutely aware that she is testing the limits, and I do know she is a very strong willed, independent child and this is her asserting that independence. I have had a lot of people tell me its just a phase in a week or two/month or two she wont be doing this anymore but she has been like this since she was 10 months old. I dont feel we have over-babyproofed the house - she pretty much has free rein to go where she pleases bar the bedrooms and laundry, she has a whole playroom of dressup's and activities, a draw in the kitchen she can play in with tupperware. The only thing we dont want her doing is the safety related stuff - no touching the oven, no climbing. Its like she knows she cant do it but she still will. Like I notice a few of you wrote that once they "knew" not to do something they stopped. But for example with the oven my daughter will go up to it and say ooohh hot and then touches it anyway. Or she goes to climb on something - will look at me and go NOOOOOO and then does it anyway.

    I already spoke about this with my CHN at our 12 month appt and she pretty much said you cant do anything at this age other than distract them and that its normal behaviour she will grow out of soon. I was reading the book raising your spirited child and trying to take on some of that stuff such as not saying no as much, giving them choices in things you are doing but not much difference. I've tried time out for her, time out for me. We do try to get out of the house as often as possible eg playgroup, toddler jam, swimming, to the playcentre. Nothing.

    I dont think she is a naughty child, not at this age butI am just at a loss of what to do, most of the positive parenting places wont see you till the child is 3. I feel like its taking havoc on our relationships - my relationship with her because I am just so stressed and frustrated all the time (hence me seeing the counsellor) and I feel like I spend ALL day going no stop, dont touch, uh uh no and moving her around that I dont actually get to enjoy being with her. My relationship with my husband because she is not as bad with him, when he gets home from work I tend to just leave her with him and run so I can have some timeout. And also taking its toll on me because I am really second judging my parenting, I'm not feeling like a very good one right now.

    So yeh if you got through all that thanks I'm just trying to judge whether it really is normal 2 year old behaviour and I need some more tips on positive parenting and ways to help her learn these things. Or whether it is something more than that......

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    I should say as well (because reading that makes it sound like its all terrible) It really isnt - she is the most loving, affectionate child you could hope for. She is not a bully to other kids or anything and will happily play with others etc - its just the behaviour and tantrums and independence is so intense....


 

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