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  1. #31
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    It is a public forum, I forget that myself almost always as I have created life lasting friendships, have been using this forum for many years and have found great support here. Alot of people probably know what I look like, where I live, how many kids I have, my name, pretty much my whole identity, I guess it just never occured to me that people would sink so low to take a parenting forum into real life. It really sucks.

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    Californication  (06-02-2012)

  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Would be nice for the member to know who has destroyed her life so she has the option to remove that person from her life.
    In a perfect world, it would be - I agree.

  4. #33
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    The thought of anyone taking a list of my posts and showing them to anyone in my life without my permission bothers me. Let alone showing posts venting about someone to the person being vented about. That's really vindictive and lacking in all common decency.

    I know this is a public forum and I do not own my posts. But it kind of feels like stealing someone's diary to do that to them. Ethically, I think its like that. Its all kinds of wrong.

    We're all real people with real lives and real consequences and when this happens there's a real person left to pick up the pieces. I think some 'trolls' forget this. Messing with someone's life is not a game.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    What can they do? People post on a public forum, they can't stop public information from being shared and passed around.
    I fully expect that they can't do much if anything at all, but thought it worth asking as a lot of people are upset and concerned about not only the Hubber in question, but their own privacy. I mean if the "concerned hubber" PM'd info or something, then it could be trackable.

    I know you are right, but I would feel a lot better if the Mods said they knew who it was and they had banned them. I don't buy for one second that they did it out of concern, and don't like to think that someone like that is in our community.

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  8. #35
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    DaddyLarge is offline I put on my robe and wizard hat...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post

    Mods - is there any way of tracking who it was and doing something about it?
    Absolutely. If you had the original email, you can view the email headers and try to match the IP address to the site logs. But they might not be willing to provide it.

    If you can get the original text of the email that was sent, someone who knows what they are looking for can compare the style, tone and language to posts made here. Most people have constants through their writing and speaking style, and most people aren't aware enough to avoid them if they want to be devious cowardly scumbags. Not proof enough to send someone to the gallows, but enough to know.

    One other thing - a few people have been saying that it was more likely that it was someone in this poster's personal life rather than a member here. It is every bit as likely that it was someone here, and maybe even more so. If ONE PERSON here knows both your username and your Facebook account, then you may as well assume that anyone here could find out whatever has been revealed on either - and much more.

    I hope everyone here takes the lesson from this crap. There ARE malicious ar$eholes on this site - all it takes is to get offside of the wrong one, and this could happen to you.

    Be careful.
    Last edited by DaddyLarge; 06-02-2012 at 17:48.

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  10. #36
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    babycake is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Funniest Thread Award
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    The thing is, for all of those people saying ban the member, you do not even have to be a member to see what people have written on here.
    What this person has done is absolutely abhorant but sadly it is a good reminder to be careful about what you write on here or anywhere on the internet.

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  12. #37
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    What really gets me is that a lot of people post here for support, when things are rough and they have few people offline to be that support. They are vulnerable. If something like this happens its a double whammy. They now need more support than ever as things turn even worse in their life but they've lost the place where they found their support and comfort.

    I don't know what the solution is. How to get and give support safely - that I guess is a very important issue.

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  14. #38
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    I absolutely understand that the forum is public but its the fact that someone from here and purposely taken information from here and forwarded it on to shans workplace in the knowledge that this would be detrimental to her job. THAT is what has got everyone on edge. Everyone knows that if someone looks hard enough they can see everything on this forum. But its the thought of someone being so nasty/two faced/deceiving that is putting everyone in a bad place right now.

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  16. #39
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    It is pretty alarming. I know i do consider 'not giving too much away' when i post individual posts but obviously with as many posts as mine there are more than enough pieces of the puzzles there for any would-be stalker. I know that i know lots about other members - personal info like names, where they live, their children's names etc and i'm also quite good at knowing when members have changed names or opened new accounts as i pick up on the way people post, people have very distinct styles in their writing and it's often clear as day to me - and i'm not really even playing that much attention i just have a good memory and am on here enough. Thankfully i'm harmless but obviously there are lots of crazies out there.

    Wonder how long it would take to delete all my posts. 8000 and something posts, if i deleted 10 a day, 3650 a year that = about 2 years and couple of months to delete them all

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    The mods are gonna be busy...

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