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  1. #21
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    We started down this path for our 3yo (who is less anxious than your son), and during the peak period we decided to put his name down for a devt paed (at least 4 month wait for private then) on the off chance it waa autism etc, and decided to take him to a psych for the anxiety.

    In the end, we abandoned it as our son's primary problem is socialising with peers (he doesn't like kindy, just plays by himself, scared of other kids). He just seems to be an introvert, so we are focussing on slowly building relationships with other kids.

    But, in your case, I would go on the waiting list for the devt paed and start seeing a psych when you can.

    Hugs. It's hard when you have an anxious child. It breaks my heart when my son pleads to stay home from kindy.

  2. #22
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    OMG thank you all ladies....cos i have a 5yr old who attends year 1 in Qld(6 in May). He has anxiety and has major emotional meltdowns. He didnt settle in at day care and infact cried everyday for a year. We did heaps of pre prep work with him to get him settled into prep via using social stories, visiting the school at different times of the day and helping in my daughters class to help him get used to the school bell, noise etc. He has senstivities to noises, bright lights. So far in the last 2 and a half years we have seen community health, public paed, private phsychologist, public phsychologist and i am ready to pull my hair out.

    He started year 1 a few weeks ago and being pulled aside after the first week to be told he is having emotional meltdowns in class and get very anxious over any new school work and is seeking out the teacher constantly for reassurance. Im feeling very very frustrated over the public phsychologist for not taking me seriously when i have relied what the teacher has told me, so she asked for permission to talk to his teacher. After that she rang me back to say the teacher sided with me!! Hello???? why would i tell you anything different.

    I could write a book on where we have been through his anxiety......dont want to bore you with to much more.

    I felt very alone but see that im not. So thank you. Thank you a million times from my heart

  3. #23
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    Hi OP

    Has this behaviour been triggered by something or is that how he has always been?
    My daughter (who is now 4.5 years old) went through the whole "not letting me out of her sight thing" about 12 months ago -- just after her baby brother died. I think she thought that if she couldn't see me, I was going to be dead too or something similar. She'd be playing happily by herself or with her sister and then suddenly realise she hadn't seen me recently and come flying out to find me in a most distressed state. Same as you... even if I just went out onto the verandah for two seconds to get milk from the outside fridge or something.
    She is much better now, but still gets anxious if I have gone outside or to another room without letting her know where I'll be.
    I'm no expert on what to do. I've just figured it's part of her grief and tried to support her through it as best we can, by trying to remember to let her know if I'm going somewhere and reassuring her that (God willing) I'm not going to die any time soon.

    Mitty -- it sounds like your little one could be a highly sensitive child. There is a book called "The Highly Sensitive Child" and it might be helpful for you. Highly sensitive children need extra support in alot of situations that other less-sensitive children don't. My eldest daughter is highly sensitive and I don't think she would have coped at all well with daycare or kindy or any of those things where I wasn't close by. She's just started school though and has taken to it like a fish in water. I feel the difference is she was never pushed into "strange" situations if she wasn't feeling comfortable. We were going to playgroup for a while but ended up pulling out because neither of my girls were mixing with the other children -- there was too much hussle and bussle and noise for them to feel comfortable.

    Hope that helps somehow.

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    Hi again!

    OP -- When I submitted my last post, I hadn't read all of your postings but I have been mulling them over and I think your little bloke might be "highly sensitive" too. I've just gone and got my copy of "The Highly Sensitive Child" and this is the beginning of the blurb on the back....

    "Is your child sensitive to almost everything -- scratchy clothes, strong tastes, loud noises, crowded places, a change in routine? A vivid dreamer, distressed by scary films or fearful in new situations? Prone to hurt feelings, upset by criticism and eager to do things just right? Frequently labelled as shy, introverted, fussy or faddy?
    If so, your child may be one of the 15 to 20 per cent of children who are born highly sensitive. Often gifted, Highly Sensitive Children are intuitive and reflective but easily overwhelmed. These qualities can make for bright, conscientious and creative children, but may also result in shyness, fussiness or acting out."

    The book is written by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.

    It might just be worth a read. Hope it helps 'cause it sounds like you're at your wit's end.

  5. #25
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Theres also a very similiar passage in the book "raising your spirited child"


    All of those things listed is very very common for asd. Change in routine, sensory issues, scared and unable to interact with others etc.

    I think the op is on the right track with getting an assessment, early intervention is crucial, and self diagnosis is never a good idea...

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    thanks going to google and chase it down in the library if they have it.

    My 5 yr old has been like this since 2.5yr old. In ways it has gotten worse in other ways it has gotten better. He can go to school without the clingingness. Doesnt cry and has even in the past week walked himself into school, put his bag away, lunch etc without his big sisters help. We normally do this monday and tuesday, an then i work the rest of the week.

    I was starting to wonder was he on the autism spectrum.......but again he is very bright, has a great personality. Just doesnt handle well in social situations......dont ask me what happened when i was told to put him into a group sport. We did this at his local school, thinking it would be fimilar for him so less stressful. 6 weeks of one hour soccerlesson involved hysterical crying and close to hyperventolating(sp). We have now put him into swimming lessons and have seen him come in leaps and bounds due to increased self confidence. but again are still having other issues. It just seems a constant struggle and it is starting to stress me out.

    If the public psychologist says to me once more in a clincial type voice of 'you are sounding anxious about all this'.....im going to find her car and let her tyres down!!!!!!

    Dont want to overtake the thread, sorry

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    Quote Originally Posted by mitty View Post
    thanks going to google and chase it down in the library if they have it.

    My 5 yr old has been like this since 2.5yr old. In ways it has gotten worse in other ways it has gotten better. He can go to school without the clingingness. Doesnt cry and has even in the past week walked himself into school, put his bag away, lunch etc without his big sisters help. We normally do this monday and tuesday, an then i work the rest of the week.

    I was starting to wonder was he on the autism spectrum.......but again he is very bright, has a great personality. Just doesnt handle well in social situations......dont ask me what happened when i was told to put him into a group sport. We did this at his local school, thinking it would be fimilar for him so less stressful. 6 weeks of one hour soccerlesson involved hysterical crying and close to hyperventolating(sp). We have now put him into swimming lessons and have seen him come in leaps and bounds due to increased self confidence. but again are still having other issues. It just seems a constant struggle and it is starting to stress me out.

    If the public psychologist says to me once more in a clincial type voice of 'you are sounding anxious about all this'.....im going to find her car and let her tyres down!!!!!!

    Dont want to overtake the thread, sorry

    I dont mean to sound rude, both of my sons have autism, and they are very very bright. Autistic children dont necessarily have intellectual disabilities. And even when they do, it might only affect one thing, and other things they can be total geniuses at.

    My ds#1 for example, isnt that crash hot with comprehension because he has a language disorder, but he is doing year 4 math work (only just started yr 2).

  9. #28
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    diamond eyes you arent rude and I do know that child on the autism spectrum can be bright etc. I didnt mean to generalise that. I work in child care so have an understanding of autism. Albeit not as much as I would like. Infact let me apologise for my comment. I have been told at this age it can be very hard to tell whehter it is infact more for eg autism or shyness, immaturity. Which left me a bit puzzled.

    Im still suspecting that he may be somewhere on the autism spectrum. You would think after seeing so many 'professionals' that they may have mentioned it.

    I have been asked to get him assessed by an OT and have auditory processing done. The only thing holding us back is the money to do it. Community health basically refused to do it, when i requested assessing him. They didnt agree with him getting 'labelled' , and it not helping him. ONly to help the school out with funding. If he got assessed than great if he doesnt but if he does than the extra help would be for the benefit of him.

    THankfully his teacher is going to see what they can do via the school to help us. Am looking into private health cover if we can afford it asap the help with costs

  10. #29
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    Thank you for all of the replies and the insight!

    lulululu - thank you for your advice about following my intuition. I think that is very important! If I had done so in the first place, I would have started this process 6 months ago!
    Dr Google is the worst. It's so tempting to google anything and everything, especially late at night when my brain is tick tick ticking.

    1crazymoose - to you and your DS. It is heartbreaking when they can't overcome their shyness just enough so they can get joy from other people and other experiences. Go with your instincts on the school thing. That is a difficult decision to make and I don't envy you for it. I hope the counssellor works wonders for you and your family. Please let us know how you and your DS go!


    MsMummy - your poor DS. It is so hard for them, isn't it? I hope you guys make some headway with the socialisation and he can overcome it enough to let go and enjoy making new friends.


    mitty- it sounds like you guys are walking a very long (and windy) road! I really hope the OT can help. They should be able to at least with the sensory issues which should make a big difference to his all over wellbeing (though my Dh is an OT so I am biased!) My only advice would be to keep on trying to get an assessment. I don't understand why nobody has bothered to assess him before!?! you must be so frustrated We are all in this together. PM me whenever you need to.

    diamondeyes - as always, thank you for your tremendous support


    Need to take DS to bed but I will be back to respond to everybody.

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    Hi all - jumping in a bit late. Sounds like my 10 yr old nephew (he used to constantly ask where everyone was and follow you to the bathroom etc). They have had him seeing a behavioural psychologist every saturday and have also altered his diet over the last few years. Just thought I'd let you know that has helped - you can leave him in one room while you are in another without him freaking out! Hope you all find some answers. I'd be very interested in hearing what works.

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