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  1. #11
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    The teachers have both said that they can see that he will fit in nicely (eventually.) But I haven't spoken to them about the night crying etc and tears on days when he is not at school as it has been over the weekend so haven't had the opportunity.
    When you get to know him, he is so outgoing and intelligent and such a JOY - even a bit of a scalliwag. He gets himself into lots of mischief but only when he feel comfortable. I feel like that is his *true* character, but it is being stifled by this horrid anxiety.

    Diamondeyes it has gotten worse. I said I would see how school went (and it is early days) but it is making me really uncomfortable waiting to see what will happen. DH is not on my side but he is not the primary carer and I know from YOUR experience how important it is to go with your gut.

    I will go to GP first I think and get both the contact for the nurse, and the referral for the paed.

    I will do that THIS week.

  2. #12
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    Ok so after another horrific day, we have decided to take him out of preschool for now and try him again next year. In the mean time, we want to try and get some professional help (DH is finally on my side) of he needs it, and work on building him up gradually.
    We have tried so many things on our own and he improves for a little while, but soon regresses again.
    I am worried for him and even for my own mental health, tbh, and my gut says he is not ready for school.

  3. #13
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    that sounds so tough, i can imagine the pressure... I had 6w of that with dd1 last year and it was so hard, i totally get ur comment about the toll on ur mental health.

  4. #14
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    Just an update on my DS. I took him to the GP who has referred us to a child psychologist and a paediatrician. She is concerned he may have an autism spectrum disorder which is not actually something we had really considered, but in hindsight, she could be right Unfortunately, we can't get into see the paed until August, so I have left a message for my GP to see if she wants to try another paed or if we should just wait. The GP nurse is trying to make the child psych appointment for us as it is within a specific anxiety clinic and he doesn't quite meet the criteria. I didn't hear back from her today (friday) so assume we will have an appt time or a different referral early next week.

    I'm not sure if it's just that I am acutely aware of his behaviour now but he seems to be getting worse. He is definitely still struggling after the whole preschool debacle and asks me every morning if he has to go (breaks my heart!), and also the GP visit which was horrible for him (he clung to my neck the whole time and bawled his eyes out). He is now really anxious to go anywhere in the car (I think he thinks I am going to trick him and take him to school or the doctor!) so we have been spending a lot of time at home which I've found tends to make him worse, so I'm hoping with Dh home for the weekend we can get him out again.

    this sucks. that is all.

  5. #15
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Do you have things to distract him while u guys are out? Would he sit in the pram? (while u wear miss M?) i found with my two, give them the pram, a bucket hat (amazing the difference it makes with boo, its like the hat shuts out the world for him) and a distraction usually results in a less terrible time for him, sometimes we just put a blanket or towel over the pram when it gets too much for him, and he calms.

    It sucks x a million..

    Dont worry too much about the paed being that far away, its the pysch who does the dx, theres a wonderful one up here at erina, she is a paed pysch and has been for a very long time, she dx boo, and actually replaced the pysch that dx X, its at Erina. Lemme know if u want the details just incase u cant get into the one u were hoping for

  6. #16
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    Do you have things to distract him while u guys are out? Would he sit in the pram? (while u wear miss M?) i found with my two, give them the pram, a bucket hat (amazing the difference it makes with boo, its like the hat shuts out the world for him) and a distraction usually results in a less terrible time for him, sometimes we just put a blanket or towel over the pram when it gets too much for him, and he calms.

    It sucks x a million..

    Dont worry too much about the paed being that far away, its the pysch who does the dx, theres a wonderful one up here at erina, she is a paed pysch and has been for a very long time, she dx boo, and actually replaced the pysch that dx X, its at Erina. Lemme know if u want the details just incase u cant get into the one u were hoping for
    We have quite a high pram with a storage bit underneath that he sits in. His bum practically scrapes the floor and he is well hidden. I telll him if he wears his sunglasses that might help but he doen't believe me. he has a hat he wears quite a bit but mostly he is 'safe' under his pram. it's just the initial 'get him in the car' bit/get him ready to go. He actually doesn't mind the shops (weird because I feel so overwhelmed in the big centres near us where we usually go!) but I think it's because it's all pretty familiar. We have been going to the same 2 centres since he was born. Same with the supermarket. given the option though he would still rather stay home. We are going to brunch tomorrow at a place we went to 2 weeks ago so fingers crossed. Park etc he is not interested in atm. I am not game to try play groups and so on atm either. He is way too anxious.
    I shall let you know if I need the Erina referral. thanks. That would work well as we could stay up there if need be, though I don't know if my Gp would refer me to someone she didn't *know* iykwim. I should hear from her early this week as to what to do. I didn't know the psych diagnosed. I assumed it was the paed. GP is trying to get us into the anxiety clinic at Macquarie Uni so I can't imagine they would do the assessment there. I will ask her when she calls me. I didn't get a paper referral for the psych (I think she is going to fax it) so not sure what it says. We have only read the one for the paed which mentions her concern that an ASD may be the underlying cause for his anxiety.
    Thanks sweets

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    A psychologist would've been my recommendation. Particularly one who specialises in play based therapy as often these are best for younger children.
    Also make sure your GP gives you a mental health plan so you can get your appointments free or greatly reduced.

    I am a bit suprised about the wait for the paed. Are you seeing him publicly? If so I would try privately. The gap generally isn't too much in my experience as you can still claim on medicare
    Missie Mack - This is a private paediatrician we have a referral for. We are in Sydney so I'm not sure if that makes the difference. I think because he is still 3 (will be 4 on June 3rd), he is quite a low priority as she asked me quite a few questions before she gave me an appointment date.
    We got the mental health plan, too. Thank you. It really is a wonderful thing. I know you get 10 visits as an adult but the kids get 16 a year subsidised which is fantastic.
    I feel play based therapy would be really good for him and I have high hopes. Thanks so much for your advice

  7. #17
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    I have been doing a fair bit of reading on ASDs (probably too much) and I'm not sure that it is the issue. I am going to and fro about it. he communicates well verbally, his lexicon is vast, his intonation is normal.
    but then thinking back, he has "meltdowns" which I always assumed were tantrums but they could go for well over an hour. It is like his eyes roll back in his head and he is not even in his own body, or like he loses total control. They are terrifying. he actually hadn't had one for a while, but had one in his sleep this week (which he used to have ALL the time - we called them sleep tantrums.) He is not very imaginative in play, but will often talk about things really creatively or imaginatively.
    I guess it's not my place to decide if that's what it is or not. Who knows. Maybe there are things I am overlooking or maybe I explained myself badly to the GP. Too many maybes!

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    Good luck mrs mc. I hope you find a therapist for your little boy who's a good fit. I'm glad to hear you pulled him out of school for now. Keep following your intuition and I'm sure things will get better. Hugs.

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    Oh yes. I know that urge to research! But beware dr google!

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    MMC - reading your post was like looking in the mirror. Your son sounds exactly the same as mine.

    My ds is also extremely shy and doesn't really make friends. He shows great signs of anxiety and when he is scared of something (like storms) he literally shakes for hours.

    Everything u have mentioned is the same. The "tantrums" which aren't really tantrums etc.

    My ds seems overly sensitive. He is either really high or really low with emotions and very few times in between.

    He has very active dreams and grinds his teeth greatly.

    I should mention he is 4 on may 15th.

    He is also very bright. Speaks incredibly well, identifies most body parts, shapes (even the ones which make me think twice), fixes things (screws, bolts the lot he understands and does it) he plays tennis once a week and is very good, he is incredible with any sport or task given to him, he is fine with puzzles, brain teasers etc. he has been to two day cares over almost 2 years. All his teachers mention how bright, switched on and concentrated he is)

    We were going to keep him back a year from starting school next year because of his emotional side. But have been persuaded by teachers and all that it will be a set back for him as he is so bright.

    So to get on top of his emotional side we are seeing a family councillor who was referred to by a family psychologist. It will be interesting to see how it goes.

    My father is extremely bright (a dentist, incredible IQ, an inventor - things he has invented have been used every day in all dental clinics, a man who has built and designed a boat which won the race between Melbourne and Hobart) as u can see a very bright man. Who also came from nothing and made it through winning scholarships. However he has NO communication skills and lacks the ability to socialize. He panics, he stresses, anxiety, highs and lows and few in betweens. I see my son as a mini him and it worries me.

    I fear my son will be bullied because he doesn't fit in or know how to make friends. Its come to my attention more and more as my dd is now 18months and confident. Makes friends super easily.

    If you have any success please share.

    We have talked to teachers etc and they are sadly all at a loss. They can include him in play but once play is finished he is alone again.

    He also clings to me and only me as if I am his life line. It breaks my heart.

    I wish you do much luck in finding a solution. I totally understand. Hugs


 

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