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  1. #1
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    Default Past egg donor happy to answer questions for anyone considering donating

    Hi all,

    I’m now in my early thirties and have joined Bub Hub because my husband and I are trying to conceive our first child. But when I was in my early twenties, I was an egg donor on three occasions for three couples. I’ve been reading some of the posts in this section and my heart goes out to all of you looking for your special egg donor angels.

    I just thought I would mention that I’m happy to answer questions if anyone is considering becoming an egg donor and wants to know what it’s like from someone who has been through the experience. Similarly, couples seeking egg donors often want to know more about what the experience is like for the donor.

    Overall, the experience was very positive and I am so glad I was able to help those families in such a special way.

    So if you have any questions, please just ask!

  2. #2
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    Hi!!

    Cool, I have lots!

    Cost - is it expensive, did any of the expense come out of your pocket? If not, was it awkward having the recipient pay? I live in a very small regional town, and I imagine I would have I travel to donate. Would a recipient be interested in the trouble it might take having the donor be so far away? (I realize I would have to e near by at the actual time of donation).

    I am overweight, do u think this will
    Make me a less acceptable candidate? The rejection would just really hurt.

    What's the optimal age? I've had 2 successful pregs, and just had an early miscarriage. I'm pretty sure I still want to try for number three in the immediate future. I'm 27, will this make me too old to be a donor?

    Is it painful at all? What kind of side effects did you have from the fertility drugs?

    I think that's all.

  3. #3
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    Just wanted to say what selfless person you are. For doing egg donation and now offering to share your experiences - truly a wonderful woman.

    Wishing you all the very best with your own journey.


    Short and sweet because I sent this from my iPhone.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chelleylane View Post
    Hi!!

    Cool, I have lots!

    Cost - is it expensive, did any of the expense come out of your pocket? If not, was it awkward having the recipient pay? I live in a very small regional town, and I imagine I would have I travel to donate. Would a recipient be interested in the trouble it might take having the donor be so far away? (I realize I would have to e near by at the actual time of donation).

    I am overweight, do u think this will
    Make me a less acceptable candidate? The rejection would just really hurt.

    What's the optimal age? I've had 2 successful pregs, and just had an early miscarriage. I'm pretty sure I still want to try for number three in the immediate future. I'm 27, will this make me too old to be a donor?

    Is it painful at all? What kind of side effects did you have from the fertility drugs?

    I think that's all.
    Hi! It’s so wonderful to hear that you are considering becoming a donor! You must be a very kind and loving person. I’m happy to answer all of your questions

    First, while in Australia egg donors are not allowed to receive financial compensation for their donation, it shouldn’t cost the donor anything to donate her eggs. This means that all of your out of pocket medical and travel expenses will be covered. This will be well understood by your recipient couple and in my opinion, it isn’t awkward at all.

    Regarding your being in rural Australia, every recipient couple is different. Because going through IVF is expensive, it depends on a couple’s financial situation as to whether they would be looking for a local donor to reduce travel costs or not. Some couples do need to find a local donor. But other couples, especially those who have found it difficult to find the right donor locally or even any donor at all, are happy and able to pay for a donor to come from interstate or even to go to her. When reading the ads placed on Bub Hub from intending recipients looking for an egg donor angel, you should read carefully to see if the couple is looking for a local donor or happy to have a donor from interstate before you respond.

    In my opinion (and remember, this isn’t medical advice) being overweight is more of a health concern regarding carrying a pregnancy than it is for donating eggs. Being overweight doesn’t affect the quality of your eggs. However, again, every couple is different. Some couples might be worried that there might be genetic/medical reasons for your being overweight, whereas I think most will not be concerned at all. I am very confident that you wouldn’t have any trouble finding the right couple, who wouldn’t be at all worried about your being overweight, and would just be very grateful for the gift you are so kindly and selflessly giving them.

    Just a note though, being overweight can sometimes mean that you are not in your best health (i.e. not at your absolute peak of fitness and health), and that could have an effect on the strain that donating eggs puts on your body, even though it is certainly not a significant strain. What I am saying is that being overweight doesn’t affect your ability to donate eggs, but it is always generally best to be as healthy as you can

    Regarding the optimal ages, while statistically a woman’s fertility and thus the quality of her eggs normally starts to decline after 30, in Australia, because it is so difficult to find an egg donor, recipients are normally happy to accept a donor up to the age of 36, pending medical tests to make sure that you are healthy and that donating eggs wouldn’t cause you any medical issues and that you would be able to donate viable, healthy eggs. Being 27 means you are in the perfect age category, and certainly not too old!

    But normally egg donors should have completed their families before they choose to donate eggs. This is because of the medical risks and possible side effects of donating. Even though there is only a very, very small chance, it is possible that donating eggs can affect your future fertility. That’s why you should be in a position where you don’t want any more children of your own before you donate. You mentioned that you want to start trying for number three soon, so you will want to have finished your family first before you donate.

    Just a side note, if you are using IVF yourself, you can choose to donate any ‘left over’ eggs to woman who is looking for an egg donor.

    And to answer your last question, I would call it uncomfortable, rather than painful. There are daily injections for several weeks. When I donated the first time, I was given Follistim, and this burnt/stung a little when I injected it. It doesn’t have this effect on all women though. When I donated the second and third time, I was given Gonal F instead because of my reaction to Follistim and I didn’t have any issues with that medication at all. The blood tests and internal ultrasounds can be uncomfortable. When I was given the injection to trigger ovulation, I had cramping and some discomfort. This was more painful the first time than it was the second and third time, I think because they were trying to harvest a larger number of eggs the first time. For the egg retrieval, I was sedated to the point of sleep, so I wasn’t awake for any of it. When I woke up, and for about the next day or two, I experienced some cramping and discomfort and was a bit tender. It is important to be aware of all of this and be prepared for what the experience will be like. But for me, it was nothing when I thought about the gift I was giving the recipient couples. The whole process lasts only three or four weeks for the donor, but the gift you are giving, if the recipient is successful in becoming pregnant and giving birth, lasts a life time!

    Lastly, please feel free to ask me any further questions that you like. It is important that you do all your research and are absolutely sure of your decision to become a donor before you offer to donate your eggs to anyone. The experience of finding a donor only to have her change her mind, as you can understand, could be very traumatic for the recipient. So it is important to be confident that it is definitely want you want to do.

    Best of luck with everything!

  5. #5
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    Do you ever wonder about the children made from your eggs? Do you keep in contact with them? I'm hoping we won't need all our frozen embies and will obviously need to make a decision about it if the situation arises, but wasn't sure if you are to meet the babies or receive updates etc?

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using BubHub

  6. #6
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    Wow I wish you the best on your own ttc journey. The only question I have is not really a question lol but can your correct me but I thought you could only donate once you have completed your own family. I might be totally wrong and this could be just what each individual fs recommend?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7
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    Thanks Lisa,
    Great answers!

    I do plan to wait until after number 3, but with breastfeeding, and given the fact that I'm not even pregnant yet, and have no idea how long it will take I worry about it getting too late.

    I have thought & talked (with hubby) about it for 3 years now, and I am not taking the decision lightly. I definitely want to donate. I'm almost as keen to donate as I am to have a third. In fact, as strange as it sounds, I think donating might be higher on my priority list, as I am so happy with my little family, and a third would just be the cherry on the top, but I know if I had been unable to conceive there would be a big gaping hole in my life, and I wish that no one ever had to deal with that.

    My weight is not genetic, it's laziness and a love of cooking. I'm in excellent health and am at 20kgs lost so far, but I just had this nightmare of meeting the recipient for the first time and them being 'oh we changed our mind, we don't want a baby after all'.

    Thanks again, this is a great start to my researching...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonbonn View Post
    Do you ever wonder about the children made from your eggs? Do you keep in contact with them? I'm hoping we won't need all our frozen embies and will obviously need to make a decision about it if the situation arises, but wasn't sure if you are to meet the babies or receive updates etc?

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using BubHub
    Every situation is different, really. It depends on both the parents and the donor. If you wanted to donate your eggs to a couple who wanted to know the donor and also give to you updates, then you certainly wouldn't have any trouble finding a couple who wanted to do that. It depends on the people involved as to how involved the donor would or would not be in the child’s life, and it could change over time. You should decide what you feel most comfortable with and then find a couple who want the same things.

    These days, in Australia, my understanding is that known donations are more common than anonymous donations so the child can later find out about the egg donor, should they choose to do so.

    But I donated about ten years ago now, and my three donations were anonymous. The three couples I donated to were looking for an anonymous donor and I felt most comfortable doing it that way. Everyone is different, of course.

    Every so often, I do think about the children that I played a small part in helping to create. But honestly, I don’t think about it very often. My personal view is that social conditioning (i.e. how a child is raised) is the most significant determining factor in the person that they become, and that genetics only play a very small role. I really saw myself as just donating some biological material that would otherwise go to waste, so I don’t view the children as in any way my own.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by smootch View Post
    Wow I wish you the best on your own ttc journey. The only question I have is not really a question lol but can your correct me but I thought you could only donate once you have completed your own family. I might be totally wrong and this could be just what each individual fs recommend?

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    You are right, it is recommended that a woman should have completed her family before she donates, because of the complications that can (very rarely) arise from donating eggs that could interfere with the donor’s future fertility. But it is still up to the donor and she is free to choose to donate at any stage in her adult life. When I donated, I was young and a bit fearless (or maybe a bit naïve) and I didn’t serious consider those types of consequences. I actually wasn’t sure that I wanted to have children of my own anyway, at that point. Luckily, my donations didn’t cause me any health issues or affect my fertility in any way, so now that I do really want to have children, I can do it!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chelleylane View Post
    Thanks Lisa,
    Great answers!

    I do plan to wait until after number 3, but with breastfeeding, and given the fact that I'm not even pregnant yet, and have no idea how long it will take I worry about it getting too late.

    I have thought & talked (with hubby) about it for 3 years now, and I am not taking the decision lightly. I definitely want to donate. I'm almost as keen to donate as I am to have a third. In fact, as strange as it sounds, I think donating might be higher on my priority list, as I am so happy with my little family, and a third would just be the cherry on the top, but I know if I had been unable to conceive there would be a big gaping hole in my life, and I wish that no one ever had to deal with that.

    My weight is not genetic, it's laziness and a love of cooking. I'm in excellent health and am at 20kgs lost so far, but I just had this nightmare of meeting the recipient for the first time and them being 'oh we changed our mind, we don't want a baby after all'.

    Thanks again, this is a great start to my researching...
    That doesn’t sound strange at all, it sounds so kind and wonderful, and I completely understand. It sounds to me like you are being really responsible and doing all the right things! I understand your feelings of self-consciousness and feeling nervous about meeting the couple, but given how grateful that couple will be to you for the gift you are giving them, and how badly they will want to have a baby, I seriously doubt they would let a tiny, superficial thing like a bit of extra weight put them off! Since you are in excellent health and there aren’t any genetic issues involved, I don’t think it would even be an issue

    If you have any other questions for me, feel free to ask

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to lisa2012 For This Useful Post:

    Daydream Believer  (06-02-2012)


 

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