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  1. #11
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    We have only had one but my ex is pushing for another, not sure how many you can have before they send you to court though ?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeganMum View Post
    Yeah I honestly don't think he would be able to make you move back, I'm actually worried my ex is going to try to get me to as he has mentioned it a few times recently, but surely they couldn't force us to live somewhere without any family or a job etc.
    Friends have said that the law is on my side as I'm her mother and I've looked after her since birth but I always worry anyway!
    My solicitor has said that she doesn't think he has a case for shared care and that I probably won't be forced to move back but I am still really worried. I've been really nice about the whole thing so far but I can't do it anymore. I'm not going to be nasty but I am going to stop agreeing to everything he wants.

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    If your ex doesn't agree you cannot have anyone else apart from legal representative go in with you.

    You can be in separate rooms & mediator will go in between.

    The goal of mediation is that you reach an agreement yourselves if you don't your only option is taking it further.

    In regard to your ex making you move there is ALOT of factors involved & unfortunately if push came to shove & you ended up in front of a judge the decision can be made for you.

    You should seek legal advice as every case differs, good luck

  4. #14
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    Yeah they attempt it multiple times. I think it's a really stupid thing but I understand the courts are full but it just drags stuff out. There's an allotted amount of free time/sessions I think?!

    We have a private lawyer as we don't qualify for the free stuff but the lawyer we saw there for an hour has no limits on income/assets etc. We just wanted to make sure we were on the right track with the parenting plan (which BM proceeded to light on fire and leave in our yard next time she picked up SD lol...) before we started spending it all on lawyers.

    It's a horrible process. Just try to remain calm and have a vision for what you believe is best for your children.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperTrooperVagiDuper View Post
    Going on what you said the lawyers or mediator won't allow him to have the kids that amount of time if he has no support in the house and is on call for work. Kids can't happily attend two schools and day care as it offers zero continual care. If they are in day care etc already with you he will have to keep them there. No court would allow him to uproot kids like that for no benefit to them. If he wants to move and not continue with their day to day routine as is he is best off on weekends only. Unless he can prove its worth uprooting them
    His exact words were '4 days a month isn't being a father' and I thought to myself, 4 days a month is more than you've spent with them on numerous occasions, why start now?!

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tasma View Post
    My solicitor has said that she doesn't think he has a case for shared care and that I probably won't be forced to move back but I am still really worried. I've been really nice about the whole thing so far but I can't do it anymore. I'm not going to be nasty but I am going to stop agreeing to everything he wants.
    You sound exactly like me at the moment! I always agree with my ex to keep the peace but I mentioned something about him wanting her 2 weekends in a row (it's too much for DD and not in our parenting plan) he wrote me these huge emails (because everything has to be in writing!) and he was basically saying he was getting legal advice for custody and that DD wants to live with him and cries when she has to go back To my house (of course she does, who wants leave being spooky and getting away with everything to come back to a house with rules where I actually parent her!)
    Anyway I ended up giving in because I couldn't be bothered with it!!

    Oops got a bit carried away there, rant over haha!

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElleB View Post
    It's a horrible process. Just try to remain calm and have a vision for what you believe is best for your children.
    I know what I believe is best for the boys and it's not what XH is requesting. I'm finding it really hard to remain calm about it all. I just want it over with and I'm spending an insane amount of money on my solicitor and I'd much rather be spending that money on the kids themselves.

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    Spooky=spoilt haha!!

  9. #19
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    Haha Vegan... I thought spooky was a cat or something...


    Maybe do the first one, see what crap he has to say and keep some tricks up your sleeve (ie don't give away your entire plan on a platter) and then maybe go away so you can consult legal advice again and take it from there.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeganMum View Post
    Anyway I ended up giving in because I couldn't be bothered with it!!
    He asked to have the boys this weekend as an extra because he had family celebrations on and I agreed cos I always got along really well with his family and think it's nice for the boys to be involved in that sort of thing but from now on, if he wants them for a weekend that isn't 'his' then we're swapping a weekend, I'm not giving him any extra.

    He had the audacity yesterday to hand me a shopping bag with new clothes in it and ask me to swing past the shop he'd bought them from and try and get a smaller size. Stupid me wasn't strong enough to say 'get stuffed and so it yourself' so I took if from him but I'm not doing anything with it except to give it back to him tomorrow.


 

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