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  1. #1
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    Default Q bout my step daughter at my wits end

    feel bad posting here but my partner (her bio dad) is no help , my SD came to me about 14 due to her mother couldn't handle her she was a wild child but dad blames the mums fault cause of yeah past stuff ,

    Anyways when she first came she would hide her soiled period undies i would ask an ask took me 8 months to finally get her to deal with them (she has had them since she was 12 so nothing new to her)
    then the Fun started , She was soiling her undies wiPoohpoo , some times Huge amounts some timsplattersers some times just thick skid marks. She claimed she had issues so took her GP gp an was told it wconstipationton , we tried a few things but all (she claimed) caused anleakagedge an tPoohpoo got worse , after a few months on stool softeners it stopped

    About 2 months ago its started again , she will shower alevery evey nite but will not change her undies will go 2-3 days with the same pair or hides them.
    theusuallyuheavilyaverly smell of urine badly , evepj'ser pjs.

    she cladintshe dont feel itOKome , Ok finOKthats ok but why keep wearing undies smelling likeIveat?

    ive tried everything even went !

    pls help me before i throw out all her undies an buy her adult diapers !

  2. #2
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    perhaps buy her liners (thin pads) to use in her knickers

  3. #3
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    I'd suggest liners too, you can get extra long ones that will cover a bit of the bum bit too.

    Has she got enough pairs of knickers?

  4. #4
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    I'm so sorry to hear this. This young girl is in a very distressed state. I strongly recommend you find a psychologist or a psychiatrist to help her and you (your GP will be able to refer her to one, and in many cases a medicare rebate is available). I'm not sure how old she is now but at 14+ years there are some significant underlying issues here. All the best.

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  6. #5
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    It could be diet related. A woman I know who has 5 kids, but only raised 3 herself has children who do this (5, 13 and 18), the doctors have attributed it to a poor diet as babies/toddlers. The 18yo occasionally has accidents and says she finds she has to go toilet as soon as the urge occurs. She found star charts and rewards helped her focus on staying clean.

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  8. #6
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    she has that many pads n liners in her room its not funny , she is 15 in july , since 10 yr old she was with her mum just on own (that when her dad an mum split) she never at vegies an was pretty chubby when came to me , She been on a healthy diet for last yr , I to think something more is up but she wont say why she does it.

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    has she always sone this or is it something new? did anything happen around the time this started? im thinking maybe there is a phsychological cause for this. like little kids sometimes start wetting the bed again when something stressful happens in their lives.

    do you think she could be constipated again? maybe another trip to the doc to try to sort this out?

    was this happening when she was with her mum? if so, what did she do about it? can you ask her about it?

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  11. #8
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    chatted to her in DP , He said its pretty much been like this all her life , But asumed it stoped since she got to high school. When he used to be with her mother she was just say she was lazy . I know its more
    Both agreed another Gp visit . Wont be lettin them put her on stoole softeners again it made the mess worse.

    On a good note when i was talking to her about it tonight she asked it i was proud of her for not hiding them.
    (she used to always hide them , Never could find them but could smell them)

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    If she has had long term constipation it may very well be that she can not sense when she has the urge to go as the nerves at the end of her bowel which are the ones that actually tell you when you need to eliminate may be damaged from being stretched so far for so long.

    It may also be that her bowels have been stretched for so long that she doesn't feel "full" until they reach that size again. Thus continuing the constipation cycle.

    It takes time, as in a lot of time for these things to recover and you need to remain medicated during that time or it won't correct itself and you go back to the same issue very quickly. Soiling is usually the overflow from behind the blockage coming out and the first sign of constipation and it's terribly embarrassing for kids of any age and not uncommon for them to try and hide it due to the shame they feel.

    I say this based on the fact the stool softeners worked for you guys for a while. You need to use them in conjunction with a really good toileting regime. Honestly, I would take her to the psychologist for the self esteem side of things and make sure there is no underlying issues there but I would also look at finding someone who deals with incontinence regularly and will work with you to overcome this problem in conjunction with the psychologist if need be.
    Last edited by Maia; 05-02-2012 at 06:59.

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  14. #10
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    Are you having her do her own laundry? If you're not you might want to start cause this might encourage better personal hygiene. I sure hope you're not doing her underwear. My family had me cleaning my own underwear at the age of 6 when I had little 'accidents' and a bit of poo ended up on my undies. Obviously not cleaning them to the point of putting them into the washing machine, I just had to use the water and soap in the laundry sink and scrub them under the supervision of an adult until I was old enough to do it myself.

    If she carries on as she's like now she's going to be like my bio mother's partner, he's 60 years old and never wipes his buttocks after doing a crap. On top of that the feral dude can't aim his wiener into the toilet bowl and gets it on the walls. It's so disgusting that my entire bio family call him rather unsavoury names to his face. He reeks of poo *shudders*


 

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