Many, many people have told people to either allow access or discontinue claiming child support.
The father of my older two children is a registered sex offender and a gambling addict. He was physically and emotionally abusive during our relationship which my children witnessed.
If it were solely up to me, he'd never see my children ever again. In my eyes, he lost his parental right they day he chose to gamble every last cent away and leave our baby without formula. If i had not gotten free sachets of formula from the health nurse that day, my daughter would have gone hungry.
However my children are in the care of the state and child protection in their infinite wisdom have granted him supervised access. The only reason he doesn't see them is because access must be supervised at dhs by dhs during the week and he's had a tantrum because he wants access on the weekend 'supervised' by his pathetic excuse of a mother. He has not seen them since Christmas Day 2010. And it can freaking stay that way.
My nine month old son lives with his father in Melbourne and i.see him once a week.
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We are all in one house. My dh is loved by our boys as much as I am, and even though he works away 12 days at a time ds1 talks to him every night and when he is home for his 9 days that is quality time family time. My dh is the best dad.
There was no abuse between DD and her father, but if he tried to get access to her now (and if he did, it'd be internationally, rather than a trip down the road), I would do all I could to prevent it.
Why? Because he missed his chance. He lost the right to have access to her when he abandoned her for a girl. When he moved overseas and didn't bother calling her. When he hasn't spoken to her at all in well over a year now, over 3 years since having seen her.
When he WAS still around, he was flitting in and out of her life randomly... and she was distressed. It was causing issues in her life. When he was still calling her, because it was so irregular (months would go by without a single word from him), she would react negatively after recieving a phone call... it's like she'd forget about him and life would be good... then all of a sudden, he'd be there again, and she'd be confused. Confused about why it had been so long between calls, confused about what she'd done to deserve that, etc.
So no, it won't be happening if I can stop it. I am not putting her through that willingly. I will do what I can to prevent it... not because I am some evil ex-hating witch, but because I love my daughter and her best interests are in my mind... and I simply do not think that having an unreliable tosser flit in and out of her life again is something that is good for her. At all. If he wants to be a part of her life, he can move back over here, and PERHAPS, if she wants to see him... he can see her for small bursts.
Stiflers Mom (07-02-2012)
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