Marriage isn't a life sentence! Why on earth stay with a man who doesn't care enough to make adjustments in your relationship? For the kids? NO! Trust me, the kids will be happier and better off seeing mum happy rather than seeing mum miserable. FOUR YEARS you've done counselling for!!! OMG!!! I believe that is the definition of flogging a dead horse!
Do NOT feel guilty about this. You wouldn't want your kids to stay in a loveless relationship would you? Why do you deserve any less?
Best of luck in your future!!