So here I am, another mum facing the role of a single parent. I am not often on here, but don't want to chance anyone working out who I am as we haven't told anyone yet.
I told DH last night that we need to separate. I am on here for so many reasons so I'll just ramble and if you can help me with any of them please, please do.
Firstly, I feel guilty for breaking up our family. We have an 18 month old and a 3 1/2 year old. I think the younger one is too little to be too greatly affected, but it is going to break the heart of my perceptive, intelligent, sensitive older one. Does anyone have any tips on breaking the news to him.
I feel so guilty because my DH is not a bad man - he is a gentleman who really wants to be the best husband and father he can. He is a great father, but he is just not a great husband. He is really emotionally stunted, he shows no affection, we have had no intimacy, physical or otherwise for over 3 years and he just does not "care" for me. The final straw was when he took the kids for a walk, the 3 1/2 year old fell and skun his knee and wanted mummy. DH brought them back and I started comforting the 3 1/2 year old. So the younger one wanted mum as well and started crawling all over me and bumping the sore knee. And DH just watched. I was struggling to give them both what they needed and he just watched. He doesn't let me know when he won't be home for the older ones bedtime (due to work), so I can't prepare him and he gets really upset. He never kisses me, hugs me, tells me his hopes and dreams. He is really controlled and measured and never really lets go. He has no close friends, no interests, does not want to explore different interests that I have suggested together, nothing. For him it is the kids and work and I just can't live like that. But he is not a bad man. How on earth do I get over the guilt?
Finally I have suggested that instead of unheaving the kids he and I swap houses. So we rent a house and when he has access I pack a few essentials and go there and the rest of the time he lives there. Has anyone done this and how did it go.
So I've rambled and I hope some of you have made it this far. I am just so devastated and lost but I hope that someone can help me work through this to minimise the impact on my beautiful children. Thanks for reading.