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  1. #1
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    Default Another hubber undercover with a confession...

    Yep, I have finally done something so bad I have had to create another profile, I need to get it so I can get on with my life.

    I emotionally cheated on my DH for more then one day!!!

    So back to the beginning (and if anyone can figure out who I am - pls don't mention on here tx).

    So, my ex and I have been friends since we split and we talk every now and again. He has mentioned in the past that he isn't over me but he is a bit of a man ***** so I don't take all that much notice.

    Anyway, yesterday he emailed me and over the course of the day and general chit chat (including him talking about his girlfriend and their issues) the conversation took on a s3xual tone. It was pretty indirect, but definately flirty. I knew it was out of line because I wouldn't be comfortable wiht my DH seeing it - IYKWIM.

    It continued via sms for the rest of the evening - again it just banter and nothing to direct but kinda subtle. At midnight I said something quite direct about 'i cant do this, you know I would like to sleep with you - I used to like sleeping with you and it would be fun but IRL its aint gonna happen'.

    To which he responded pretending he was really shocked and not expecting that response. And then he went on to tell me all the wonderful things about myself and our previous s3x life and all the things he has fantasied about doing all the yrs since. To which I am ashamed to admit, I played along with.

    It then conitnued today and essulated to him saying he would liike to continue this 'fantasy relationship' on an ongoing basis. But that he could never see me IRL because he cou;dn't resist blah, blah,blah. And then he told me how I am the best person he has ever known and all this jazz.

    To be honest, it was a great ego boost and it was fun.

    But I just felt sick and realised I couldn't do it. Sure it was fun - but it was bad for heaps of reasons including my DH as well as my ex.

    I told my ex I can't do it anymore and I didn't want him to sms or email me. That I would still be his friend on FB but polite PUBLIC contact and there was no way in hell I am ever going to see him again.

    He todl me he understands but that he wanted me to knwo that he is madly in love with me and he wants me to leave my DH and be with him (obvisuly not going to happen).

    I haven't told my DH and I am too scared to and not planning on saying anything.

    I know it was such a dumb thing to do. I just want to pretend it never happened.

    Thanks for reading, I needed to get this out.
    Last edited by OneMoreUnderCover; 01-02-2012 at 19:35.

  2. #2
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    I have no idea if it makes any difference, but I should also add that in general i think its perfectly normal to be s3xually attracted to lots of ppl. But I believe marriage and commitment means that you don't act on the attraction.

    My DH is open to swinging and has said heaps of times he wouldn't care if I had s3x with someone I thought was hot - but that we needed to open and honest about it. I have said im not comfortable with him doing it (my own insecurities) and as such would never do it to him.

    In the future, its not a closed case - we are open to it changing if its something we are both comfortbale with. We think including other ppl in our s3x life can be a good thing possibly.

    But this was differem=nt, because it wasn't just s3xual and it was decietful and complicated. If that makes sense.

  3. #3
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    Hun you sound like you're being WAY too hard on yourself .

    It's good that you ended it before anything really began My only suggestion is I really would consider deleting him off Facebook just in case he tries to talk to you like this again.

    I don't know if you should tell your DH or not - depends on how you feel and what you think is best xo.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pinkzy For This Useful Post:

    ComeBackKid  (01-02-2012),OneMoreUnderCover  (01-02-2012)

  5. #4
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    Thanks mate - it did sort of begin though. he basically pleasured himself and I knew

    I dont wanna tell my DH and Im not going too - I think I just need to fess up on here so I can let it go - is that wrong?

  6. #5
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    I think it's good you've got it out as these things eat at you a bit. I agree about not telling your husband - too much angst with no benefit, really.

    The important thing is that you drew the line, and nothing serious or ongoing happened.

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    OneMoreUnderCover  (01-02-2012)

  8. #6
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    Do not tell DH. Just delete the guy, forget it and dont do it again. Telling DH isnt worth the trouble,to hurt him when the thing was over before it began, its pointless.

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  10. #7
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    I think it is good that you were able to stop - I understand and know these things can be a good confidence booster.

    I think that it is quite common to have mini attractions to others when in long term relationships. It requires character not to act on them (and realise it isn't serious).

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    OneMoreUnderCover  (01-02-2012)

  12. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneMoreUnderCover View Post
    Thanks mate - it did sort of begin though. he basically pleasured himself and I knew

    I dont wanna tell my DH and Im not going too - I think I just need to fess up on here so I can let it go - is that wrong?
    It's not wrong at all Not telling your DH is the right thing to do I think. I really would delete this guy though, just in case you're ever feeling vulnerable and he catches on (and then tries to take advantage of it).

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    OneMoreUnderCover  (01-02-2012)

  14. #9
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    I have deleted his phone number and email.

    As for FB - we have a heap of mutule friends and it would really create a big think if anyone noticed we weren't friends anymore. I have hidden his new feeds things and asked him not to email me so the only contact he could have would be publicaly on my wall, photos stuff.

    He did catch me when I was vunerable, but I still have myself to blame for not being smarter.

    It will never ever happen again - no contact!

  15. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by GothChick View Post
    Do not tell DH. Just delete the guy, forget it and dont do it again. Telling DH isnt worth the trouble,to hurt him when the thing was over before it began, its pointless.
    I agree

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    OneMoreUnderCover  (01-02-2012)


 

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