Yep, I have finally done something so bad I have had to create another profile, I need to get it so I can get on with my life.
I emotionally cheated on my DH for more then one day!!!
So back to the beginning (and if anyone can figure out who I am - pls don't mention on here tx).
So, my ex and I have been friends since we split and we talk every now and again. He has mentioned in the past that he isn't over me but he is a bit of a man ***** so I don't take all that much notice.
Anyway, yesterday he emailed me and over the course of the day and general chit chat (including him talking about his girlfriend and their issues) the conversation took on a s3xual tone. It was pretty indirect, but definately flirty. I knew it was out of line because I wouldn't be comfortable wiht my DH seeing it - IYKWIM.
It continued via sms for the rest of the evening - again it just banter and nothing to direct but kinda subtle. At midnight I said something quite direct about 'i cant do this, you know I would like to sleep with you - I used to like sleeping with you and it would be fun but IRL its aint gonna happen'.
To which he responded pretending he was really shocked and not expecting that response. And then he went on to tell me all the wonderful things about myself and our previous s3x life and all the things he has fantasied about doing all the yrs since. To which I am ashamed to admit, I played along with.
It then conitnued today and essulated to him saying he would liike to continue this 'fantasy relationship' on an ongoing basis. But that he could never see me IRL because he cou;dn't resist blah, blah,blah. And then he told me how I am the best person he has ever known and all this jazz.
To be honest, it was a great ego boost and it was fun.
But I just felt sick and realised I couldn't do it. Sure it was fun - but it was bad for heaps of reasons including my DH as well as my ex.
I told my ex I can't do it anymore and I didn't want him to sms or email me. That I would still be his friend on FB but polite PUBLIC contact and there was no way in hell I am ever going to see him again.
He todl me he understands but that he wanted me to knwo that he is madly in love with me and he wants me to leave my DH and be with him (obvisuly not going to happen).
I haven't told my DH and I am too scared to and not planning on saying anything.
I know it was such a dumb thing to do. I just want to pretend it never happened.
Thanks for reading, I needed to get this out.