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  1. #11
    mummabec's Avatar
    mummabec is offline I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love
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    Yep a mix here too, things that are important to me I rules on ie. Bed times, feed times etc but I also am ok with them not eating if there not hungry and my 2.5 year old DD1 I am happy for to be in bed "reading" at bedtime and for to put herself to sleep when she's ready.

  2. #12
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    I would lean more towards parent led. My girls have a fair bit of structure - do your best to eat dinner, no movies or tv except on weekends (at my place, they get it at mum's), bedtime at 7pm etc. I listen to them but they are very well aware that dad is in charge and they're happy with that. It works for us, my eldest is at the top of her class and is starting junior musical theatre next week.

    I think whatever comes naturally and whatever works!

  3. #13
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    Before 12-18 months old definitely child-led. It seems that science is only just discovering how neatly babies wants correspond with their needs and I feel no need to second guess them. After 18 months I think it's about working together to ensure that all the family's needs are met and that everyone learns to compromise, look after the needs of others as well as their own and clearly and age-appropriately communicate what they need (including adults)

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    When he was a baby, I followed his cues because I do believe babies cry for a reason, they're hungry when they're hungry and they sleep when they're tired. As he got older, I set the routine. He seems to thrive on structure and likes to know that lunch time is at X o'clock, bed time is at X o'clock etc. He's a happy chappy
    this is exactly how we parent. when they are babies, we do baby led parenting but as they get older and you can communicate with them, things slowly change to being more parent-led. we set the rules and boundaries but we are open to negotiation if they want something and can plead their case.

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  6. #15
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    i should add, i would never push a baby or child (regardless of age) into something they were not ready for emotionally, physically or biologically.

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  8. #16
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    mostly parent led. I figured out very early on that DS thrives on routine. But i guess that means that the routine is really a child led routine LOL. But i don't really believe in natural consequences because i think most kids couldn't give a sheet about natural consequences, and 9 times out of 10, there aren't any natural consequences. So in that respect i'm more parent led. On the other hand, i am very easy going about what he can do. He's a good climber, so i let him climb. Our place is very child proof so he has the run if it. I don't pick many battles, but when i do i ALWAYS win

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    Right from birth my DD had a very consistent routine that made sense: sleep for 4 hours, change, feed, burp, sleep for another 4 hours etc as a newborn.

    We allowed her to lead the routine because she fed and slept and burped well and was thriving. When her needs changed, the routine she fell into kept making sense and we allowed her to lead it.

    If I had a child that needed some help forming a routine, I would most certainly initiate more structure because I think some sort of routine assists in transitioning with sleeping and feeding and babies being generally more settled and happy.

    As she got older, we assisted in forming a good routine around meal, bath and bedtime and day time sleeps but I think that's important as a child gets older because they need to fit into the household's routine.

  10. #18
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    If someone tried to force feed me when I'm not hungry, or make me go to sleep when I'm not tired, then I would put up a fight. Babies aren't different, and for that reason we do baby led parenting. I watch out for cues, and we go from there. We have a 'rough' routine for DS2, but it's one he has created. Some nights he isn't tired at 7ish, so we play for longer or read stories until he starts to show cues. It's not a "Bedtime AT 7!" situation in this house.

    My household was the same growing up, and I would like to think I turned out fairly okay

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    Child led more so than parent-led although I enforce what he has set and works well for him.

    When he was a baby- I was in the mindset of feeding on demand. It just so happened that he was a text book baby and fed every 4 hrs to the minute, slept for 3 and awake for 1. I put him to bed when I noticed the tired signs, and these were obvious to me with DS.

    Older- I have stuck to the same routine as he developed as a baby. Bed time at 7pm. DS is a sleeper- and I think it's very important to be rested for a full day of school.

    I follow a mostly natural consequence desipline method with lots of talking and reasoning (again, what works with DS). There are certain things I'm strict on and will insist on, and others that don't bother me in the slightest. This is mostly a combination of DS personality, his habits and my personality and what is important to me.

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    What on earth is natural consequences?!?


 

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