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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post

    Not going out when baby has a sleep has been mentioned. The rest of the household suffers when a baby doesn't have enough sleep. A good sleep during the day is an excellent mood improver for everyone. I think that goes for every household, not just mine. If you can't let your baby have her daytime nap because you want to catch up for coffee with your friends (or whatever it might be) I think you are asking for difficult times ahead. A 20 minute nap in the car does not count. It isn't until a child is a little older (perhaps kindergarten age) that it becomes apparent which kids are better able to fit in with others - oftentimes the ones who have behaviour issues are the ones who've been allowed to "set their own routine" or who've been dragged here there and everywhere (to fit in with their parents).
    Man I'm so lost...so do you think the kids that got to sleep when they needed to sleep, at home, in their cots then become better behaved children or do you think the ones who have been 'dragged' around by their parents are the ones who are better behaved?

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    My dd is 23months and we made sure she fit into our life. We weren't bot going o go out to dinner incase she cried or needed feeding or changing.
    We didn't go clubbing or anything before we had dd but she fits into our life.
    We NEVER put anything off because we had a baby or it might interfere with nap time because she didn't have a nap time and slept when she was tired wherever we might be. We have travelled by car over 40000km per year with her, gone to nitro circus with her, I used to go walking around the shops alot and she would be quite content. She has come o the movies with me since she was 8days old and I have left once because she was upset but that didn't stop me from going back.
    I have friends who never took their kids to dinner or movies or any social situations and their children are scared of the cinema, won't sit down at dinner and freak out in large groups of people.
    My husband and I haven't missed out on anything sine DD was born and we have only left her with my mum a couple of times for an hour or 2 so it's not like we just get a babysitter we just made sure we bought her up to be used to our lifes

  3. #53
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    I completely disagree that those who set their own routine are worse behaved. Having worked in childcare and as a nanny I can honestly say those children are more confident, happy to be in different situations an have less meltdownd

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    I definately agree that bubs 2, 3, 4 etc will have to fit around what the rest of the family is doing so some extent. I am mainly interested on the impact bub number 1 had, as I would assume most people have some sort of expectation on what life will be like with a baby, but you'll never really know what changes you will or won't have to make until they come along.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Not going out when baby has a sleep has been mentioned. The rest of the household suffers when a baby doesn't have enough sleep. A good sleep during the day is an excellent mood improver for everyone. I think that goes for every household, not just mine. If you can't let your baby have her daytime nap because you want to catch up for coffee with your friends (or whatever it might be) I think you are asking for difficult times ahead. A 20 minute nap in the car does not count. It isn't until a child is a little older (perhaps kindergarten age) that it becomes apparent which kids are better able to fit in with others - oftentimes the ones who have behaviour issues are the ones who've been allowed to "set their own routine" or who've been dragged here there and everywhere (to fit in with their parents).

    Just my opinion and based on my experience. I think parenting is a full time job and if you think that letting a child tag along for the ride is parenting, it's not, it's either a case of being uneducated/inexperienced or lazy.
    Wow, are you serious.
    My kids were not big nappers - i could have stayed home all day working on getting them to nap but then i would have been a wreck. They often slept better when out and about and you know what's a really great mood improver....being out and not letting 'nap time' define your whole day. I don't 'drag them around' they enjoy being out of the house. They don't have any behavioral issues either
    The suggestion that not staying home for naps makes you uneducated, inexperienced or lazy is just insulting and quite frankly bs.

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    I think saying a parent is uneducated/lazy or inexperienced because they choose to give their child life experiences and social experiences is quite insulting.

    What happens when you have more than one child and have to do school runs, help in the classroom ect, you don't pick your child up because your babies napping??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Auntyamber View Post
    She has come o the movies with me since she was 8days old and I have left once because she was upset but that didn't stop me from going back.
    I have friends who never took their kids to dinner or movies or any social situations and their children are scared of the cinema, won't sit down at dinner and freak out in large groups of people.
    Its great that that worked well for you but for my kids like my daughter who have sensory issues its just a nightmare. She doesn't hate cinemas because I didn't take her out more as a bub. Its the reverse. I didn't take her out to movies because I knew she'd freak out due to sensory overload.

    Its such a personal thing, going out and about with kids and it so absolutely depends on the kind of child you have. Some are more challenging than others, and its often not anything the parents did or failed to do.

    So many friends with 'easy' babies have told me my daughters issues are all my fault. Its really, really not, except for genetically.

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    meh, kids are all different. Anyone who takes their kids out all day can take mine and see how that works, while i take theirs and try to get them to sleep in a cot at a set time. A fun time will be had by all, and we will *definitely* be able to tell which one was which when they are 30

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    I think it's really funny when people say that because *most* times they find out it's just not the case, regardless of wether they think it is.
    My babies sleep and therefore, as they have gotten older and won't just sleep in their pram, I have to organise my days around this. If we have a day or interrupted routine, it shows.
    I mean, they are flexible to a degree but sleep is important and I make their naps, meal times etc a priority. It's not about what I need or want to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    I actually think it's a good thing that life changes, sometimes dramatically. It's normal. I feel entrusted to ensure that my children are raised in a way that makes them aware of respecting the rest of the family, but to do that means that I have had to sacrifice some things as well. It isn't all about me or my husband, it is about the family as a whole.

    Not going out when baby has a sleep has been mentioned. The rest of the household suffers when a baby doesn't have enough sleep. A good sleep during the day is an excellent mood improver for everyone. I think that goes for every household, not just mine. If you can't let your baby have her daytime nap because you want to catch up for coffee with your friends (or whatever it might be) I think you are asking for difficult times ahead. A 20 minute nap in the car does not count. It isn't until a child is a little older (perhaps kindergarten age) that it becomes apparent which kids are better able to fit in with others - oftentimes the ones who have behaviour issues are the ones who've been allowed to "set their own routine" or who've been dragged here there and everywhere (to fit in with their parents).

    Just my opinion and based on my experience. I think parenting is a full time job and if you think that letting a child tag along for the ride is parenting, it's not, it's either a case of being uneducated/inexperienced or lazy.
    A couple of people were offended by this statement but I think I took this post a different way, so will check how it was intended.

    I took it to say that a child's needs, be it sleep or even just the evolving dynamic of a family should be respected and met. I didn't take it to mean that a baby/child should never leave the house, socialize or go along for the ride but rather that in having a child a parent should expect life to be different than it was and that it's our job as parents first and foremost to nurture that child.

    Did I read it right?


 

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