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  1. #121
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I missed out on lots of fun things when my bub was a newborn because I listened to people saying "your life will be mainly around home" "you have to stick to a routine - cos babies like routine and if you dont you will pay for it!!" etc. I was so freaking bored being home all the time with my newborn trying to enforce a routine. Finally I popped her in the car and drove to the shops etc and you know what - it didnt matter. she still did the whole feed/play/feed/sleep thing and I wasnt bored anymore.

    I restarted my life - coffee with the girls, morning teas at work, mothers group, playgroup, etc. Yes my life was different in the activities I did - coffee vs wine bars, playgroup/mothers group vs clubbing but essentially my life went back to normal. It was social again.

    I agree with Girl X in that if you want certain things in your life you have them even with children. We love to travel but as we are on one income - we only go overseas ever two years but locally at least every year. But as decemberbubba said - things in life do change with children but its up to you how much you change it.

    I still catch up with the girls but now we meet at a park so we can chat and sip coffee whilst I watch DD play. Cafes dont work anymore with a toddler and naptimes are precious (I sleep too!)

    Dinners or late nights only can happen once a week as it stuffs up her sleep too much otherwise for the rest of the week.

    My life did change cos I had to make new friends that were 'mummy' friends. I still have my tight knit circle of friends but less of the ones I just used to hang out with.

    My day has changed to starting every day by 5.30am and bedtime by 9pm. But I do not resent it at all. I am much more productive now than I ever was pre-baby.

    I do wish tho that I did more with my newborn. newborns and babies <7/8mths are infinitely more transportable and accomodating than toddlers.

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I think it depends so much on the child.

    Someone mentioned that for those who say life hasn't changed - well, that depends on what your life involved pre-babies. I agree, but the implication (as I read it) was that if your life hasn't changed then you weren't doing all those fun things pre-baby anyway.

    I think that when a lot of people say that the baby will fit into their lifestyles, what they mean is NOT 'nothing at all will change', but instead 'things will change, but we will still do the things we love.' That's certainly what I mean by it.

    DH and I love to travel, and when I was pregnant so many people said things like "Well, that's all over now - you can't go to all these places with a kid." For us that has not been true. DD is 19mths and has many passport stamps, and is a great traveller.

    We love to eat at nice restaurants. We're fortunate, in that DD goes to bed early (4.45-5pm), and my parents live nearby and babysit lots. That means that we can regularly go out of an evening without DD even knowing we aren't there. When she was smaller we sometimes took her too, as she would just sleep.

    I take her shopping several times a week. When she was smaller she would sleep in the pram, and now she's bigger she just chatters to me and reads books as we go.

    We love going to the cinema, playing sports, seeing friends, going to / having parties. None of those things have stopped.

    I'm not saying all this to sound insufferably smug (although I realise I probably am sounding that way), but to explain that when I say that DD fits into our lifestyle - that's how I mean it. We can still do the things that we love, and DD doesn't suffer for it.

    If she was a bad sleeper, or clingy, or a crier, then I'm sure things would have been different.

    Sure, things have still changed. I've given up work for her, which was a big sacrifice for me. Life is very different to how it was before in many ways, but I still feel that she fits around what we want to do.

    When I was pregnant (and since having DD) I knew some people who didn't get out of pyjamas all day, who said they had no time to even brush their teeth or do makeup, who always showed up late to events (or didn't come) because of something to do with the baby, who couldn't go on holiday any more (because of baby), who couldn't meet at a particular time as it clashed with nap time etc. etc. That's what I think of when I think of a baby not fitting into someone's lifestyle, and when I was pregnant that prospect terrified me.

    I'm not trying to offend anyone who has done any of those things listed, but just trying to say that when I say she fits into our lifestyle it's because I believe that she does, and because I didn't personally want any of those things I listed to happen to us, and I'm happy that they didn't. People often like to give you the 'life is over' warnings when you're pregnant, but I don't think it has to be.

    Hope that made sense, and that anyone who's waded through it hasn't dozed off...
    this is awesome. I'm pregnant now & a lot of people give me the "life is over" warnings you speak of. but I hope my life is somewhat the same, in the sense you speak of in your post. it's what I envisage my life to be like once this bubs comes along

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Last edited by laurea; 07-02-2012 at 12:55.


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