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  1. #101
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    Babies fitted quite nicely into my lifestyle, toddlers and preschoolers not so much - but I was used to being a mum by then so I guess my life changed anyway!

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    [QUOTE=Kimberleygal1;6353472]Yes you can, they just do! But those that think they don't, well perhaps you weren't ready to be a parent.[QUOTE]

    That comes across as rather harsh.

    It wasn't by choice that my baby didn't not fit in with my lïfestyle. I've already been ostracised and isolated by my mothers group for having the child with sensory and anxiety issues, its hard to hear that reinforced with 'yeah, maybe you weren't ready for kids.' Sometimes things don't work out the way you thought, or hoped they would. At least it didn't at first for me.

    That said, I agree its also harsh to say its sad if your life didn't change a great deal.

    Can we embrace diversity in parenting and accept some parents made the transition easily and life continued as normal, and some found it changed, for whatever reason, and that's okay? Neither side are right or wrong for staying home or going out, or socialising a particular way. Its just life. Everyone experiences things differently.


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  4. #103
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    Birdistheword is offline Frightened little child, bird is the word!
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    My DP and I have already been through interviews with nannys to have for one night a week for 'our' time without a child. So I guess we will be fitting a child into our lifestyle, just because we have a kid doesn't mean we don't get to enjoy our partnership.

    (haven't read any other responses)

  5. #104
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    babies never 'fit in'...

    unless you were already waking up 3-4 times a night
    and carrying around a 5kg weight all day that made distressed noises when you put it down to use the loo....


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  7. #105
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Saddened...really


    Before we had kids those nights at the pub, nightclubbing were non existent, our social life included having friends over or a quiet night at a friends place. We have children and we still do those things. Nothing sad about that!
    No you're right. Nothing sad about the lifestyle you offer your children. Then again, you describe your life as being quite child-friendly to begin with so naturally, little if anything at all has changed for you. I get your point.

    But I think you got stuck on the opening paragraph of my post. Maybe re-read before offering an eyeroll?
    Last edited by TimTamsandTea; 03-02-2012 at 00:52.

  8. #106
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Yes you can, they just do! But those that think they don't, well perhaps you weren't ready to be a parent.

    And some don't. The collicky baby, the cry-for-three-hours-for-no-apparant-reason-each-day baby, the extremely clingly toddler, the toddler who wakes up each evening inconsolable due to re-occuring nightmares and takes hours to get back to sleep (and the list goes on and on) don't simply fall into the life and lifestyle some of us had prior to children.

    But clearly the changes friends and I have made to life once our children arrived were due to being ill-prepared for being a parent rather than adapting life to accomodate their children's needs.
    Last edited by TimTamsandTea; 02-02-2012 at 23:58.

  9. #107
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    It's an insane notion that your family dynamic will remain the same when another person joins it. It's like saying 'my relationship with my significant other will have to fit in around my single lifestyle, not the other way around.'

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  11. #108
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedy View Post
    It's an insane notion that your family dynamic will remain the same when another person joins it. It's like saying 'my relationship with my significant other will have to fit in around my single lifestyle, not the other way around.'
    Precisely.

  12. #109
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    Its kind of a bit of each column isn't it? Both my kids so far have had to fit in in some ways.. But in most ways we had to do a lot of adjusting. As others have said, many factors come into it. I haven't had "easy" babies by any stretch of the imagination. in fact I have recently had to throw in paid employment for my dd lol.. Life with kids is never what you expect !

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9100 using Tapatalk

  13. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Yes you can, they just do! But those that think they don't, well perhaps you weren't ready to be a parent.


    That's a comment I would normally read over and move on without another thought, but since it was directed at my post I'll respond.

    I think what you've said there is fairly harsh towards those that have posted who were on the extreme end of the scale with their lives being turned upside down, and were hit hard by the realities of what life with a baby can be like. I'm sorry that you've been annoyed by some responses, but I think you may have taken some general comments very personally. I also appologise if some of my comments have annoyed you (and anyone else), but they really are just my opinion voiced in a general way - of course there are always exceptions to the rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Dh and I were very ready for any changes having kids was going to have on our lives but as it turned out kids fit into our lives perfectly, hard to imagine what life was like without them now
    I've re-read back, and you've said you were ready for any changes kids were going to have (which is the same outlook I had when I was pregnant), but it happened life remained the same - which is great! So you didn't definatively say bub would fit in around your lifestyle before they came along - you were prepared to make any changes necessary.
    Last edited by decemberbubba; 03-02-2012 at 07:05.


 

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