+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
  1. #1
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,209
    Thanks
    466
    Thanked
    1,796
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default *SPIN OFF* Can feminism and chivalry co-exist?

    How exciting! My first spin off thread!

    Ok, so having read the "can you be a feminist and traditional etc" thread, it got me thinking. Is there still room for chivalry? For doors being opened for ladies? For seats on buses to be offered? All of that kind of thing. Can the two co-exist or not?
    Last edited by GluttonForPunishment; 31-01-2012 at 09:28. Reason: Can't spell!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,794
    Thanks
    3,395
    Thanked
    3,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Yes. If someone wants to offer the seat, I think it's nice, but definitely not expected. Sometimes I will be on a bus and sit down with the thought that if it becomes crowded I prefer to stand. So yes, someone can give up their seat. On the topic of holding doors open, it would be very rude to let it close, so yes, politeness in that regard I do expect. Not to stand there holding it, but hold it until someone else grabs it. But I have just come from the school where people hold the gate or classroom door until the person behind grabs it.

    I don't put a gender on it though.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I wouldn't expect someone to stand for me on a bus simply because they are male, I don't quite understand that logic actually. I, being female, would stand for an elderly man or woman, pregnant woman, or disabled person, or someone with children who needs the seat more than I do.

    As for doors being held open, I really can't think of one situation where I haven't held a door open for someone else approaching or vice versa.

    I think most people hold the door for the next person approaching no matter their gender.

    My DP insists on holding heavy shopping bags or carrying DS when he's acting like a baby but I think that has more to do with my back problems moreso than what's between my legs.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,014
    Thanks
    1,861
    Thanked
    1,733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Absolutely. I think chivalry is more about consideration of other human beings than it is about gender.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Shoopuf For This Useful Post:

    Busy-Bee  (31-01-2012),Californication  (31-01-2012)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Chivalry isn't about men doing stuff only for women is it? It's just about generally doing nice stuff for others that you don't actually have to do? (I think mostly in regards to knights, but obviously not so much these days...).

    Anyway, if one is simply courteous to another human being then I think fine. If a man offers his seat, opens doors, etc etc ONLY to women BECAUSE they are women and he is a man, I think that's a bit... gross. It would make me feel uncomfortable that I was intentionally being treated that way just because I was the owner of a vagina and he was not.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    Californication  (31-01-2012),Gandalf  (31-01-2012),~ElectricPink~  (31-01-2012)

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Tenambit.
    Posts
    9,037
    Thanks
    1,564
    Thanked
    2,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    This was the little article I read about it teh other day

    *dies of embarrassment because it is from Cleo - it popped up on MSN homepage and I couldn't resist teh urge to read*

    snippet -
    In a perfect society where both genders are treated the same, chivalry would be irrelevant, replaced with a sense of common courtesy towards everyone. You’d open the door for an elderly man negotiating a heavy bag, you’d give up your train seat to a kid struggling with a broken leg ... Moran says, “Seeing the world as ‘The Guys’, male and female alike, is important.
    http://cleo.com.au/are-we-just-feigning-feminism.htm
    Last edited by FiveInTheBed; 31-01-2012 at 10:39.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to FiveInTheBed For This Useful Post:

    MissMuppet  (31-01-2012)

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,863
    Thanks
    606
    Thanked
    724
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Chivalry isn't about men doing stuff only for women is it? It's just about generally doing nice stuff for others that you don't actually have to do? (I think mostly in regards to knights, but obviously not so much these days...).

    Anyway, if one is simply courteous to another human being then I think fine. If a man offers his seat, opens doors, etc etc ONLY to women BECAUSE they are women and he is a man, I think that's a bit... gross. It would make me feel uncomfortable that I was intentionally being treated that way just because I was the owner of a vagina and he was not.
    I didnt know about the men only thing so I googled

    "
    chiv·al·ry

       [shiv-uhl-ree] Show IPA
    noun, plural -ries for 6. 1. the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.

    2. the rules and customs of medieval knighthood.

    3. the medieval system or institution of knighthood.

    4. a group of knights.

    5. gallant warriors or gentlemen: fair ladies and noble chivalry"

    Id say as a general rule its men only who can display chivalry.

    Do I think they can co-exist, sure I do! A Man can show chivalry and also except the female equivalent from his female opposite. I think its nice some times for a man to take time out to take that little bit of extra consideration.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Lemmings For This Useful Post:

    Guest654  (31-01-2012)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Tenambit.
    Posts
    9,037
    Thanks
    1,564
    Thanked
    2,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Can I add a spin off within your spin off?
    (CBF starting another thread ..and I know this topic is discussed quite regularly in here with two distinct sides usually being taken and one of those sides being labelled - Feminists)


    ...can a Stripper or Pron worker be a Feminsist?
    Last edited by FiveInTheBed; 31-01-2012 at 11:10.

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,368
    Thanks
    498
    Thanked
    1,479
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I definitely agree that doing something "chivalrous" based on no reason other than gender is just sexist and reflects an implicit inequality.
    DP does do things like carry the heavy grocery bags but he is physically much stronger than me so I think it's fair enough in situations like that... But the feminist in me always offers to help anyway

    oh with money - when our income is equal we take it in turns to buy drinks/dinners/etc. I think having the male automatically pay these days isn't right at all and encourages the idea that women are greedy and lazy and that feminism=misandry...
    Chivalry definitely needs to go both ways!
    Last edited by deku; 31-01-2012 at 10:53.

  14. #10
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,786
    Thanks
    1,021
    Thanked
    2,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If a man I was out with opened the door for me or paid for dinner or helped me carry something heavy or offered me his jacket if it was cold simple because I was a woman then I would think he was sweet and caring and he would probably get lucky...lol

    To me it has nothing to do with feminism.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    GothChick  (31-01-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Feminism
    By flyawayfree in forum General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 21-07-2012, 18:08
  2. Is chivalry dead!?
    By miztrezz in forum General Chat
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 20-06-2012, 20:14
  3. Who needs feminism.....
    By headoverfeet in forum Social Issues
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 25-04-2012, 11:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Sarah Tooke Childbirth & Parenting Education
Providing private, personalised antenatal childbirth & parenting education to expectant parents in the comfort of their own home. Sessions are flexible, including everything that hospital based programs cover. Click to find out more!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!