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  1. #11
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    Has hs mother ever followed up any of his 'excuses'? Been to a GP or pyschologist? I find it strange she just laughed it off with a 'your problem now' attitude.

    Because if this has been a long term problem I'd be taking him to the GP for blood tests and if that's all clear then I'd see a child psychologist for his anxiety issues. And I'd talk to his teacher to see if they thought there were any problems or issues.

    Good luck gettng to the bottom of it.

  2. #12
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    How are his grades? Does he struggle with any subjects?

    When I was in Year 8 I did a similar thing ... I had been off sick for a few weeks with glandular fever and had missed a lot of work. Most of my teachers were very accommodating, but my maths teacher just refused to help me catch up. She said it was my responsibility to catch up on my own, but the problem was that I just didn't understand the concepts (it was algebra I had missed).

    It was easier for me to pretend I was sick than feel stupid every day.

    I hope you figure it out.

  3. #13
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    I was going to mention health anxiety. A friend of mine suffers from this and when he's feeling anxious he actually DOES start to feel physically unwell.

    I'd take him to be checked out by a GP and then somebody who can talk with him about his anxieties, even if it's just to get out of school there is obviously something troubling him within the school grounds.

  4. #14
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    I would definitely look into it and not just shrug him off.

    DD did this to me last year and eventually it came out she was being bullying within her group of friends, even her teacher was unaware, but it was enough to make my little girl who usually loves school, fake an illness every morning.

    It was also discovered DD has a blockage in her bowels again which was causing her stomach aches and trouble going to the toilet.

    I felt horrible, instead of trying to protect my DD I had simply shrugged things off for months not realising the severity if everything she was trying to deal with herself at just 8 years old.

    Now it's sort she's only 'sick' when she wants mummy cuddles or genuinely sick.

    Please, take him to a doctor and talk with him, children often hide how they feel so as not to make their parents feel bad.

  5. #15
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    i'll add, that when i was in yr four, i gave myself an ulcer from the stress of my teacher being a complete D head. and for kids being jerks.

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    His grades are outstanding.. he is an A+ student. we dont pressure him with this.. we simply congratulate him on his report cards and he tells us he is proud of himself for his efforts also.

    the fact that he is saying "i'm over school" thing and i just found out today that he has also been telling his grandparents that he is thinking of dropping out in yr 10 as he dislikes school.. worries me a little, but i guess he is getting to that age where we groan about having to go to school too...

    No phone calls from the school yet.. i didn't want to talk to his teacher this morning while he was hanging around as I don't want him feeling more anxious if he sees me talking to his teacher.. so i dropped into the office and asked that his teacher rings me today to discuss his wellbeing in the classroom so i can get a better idea of how he really is throughout the day.. if he talks to people and if he really does have people including him etc.. i know that she can only monitor what she sees in the classroom and something else may be happening but i'd love to just get some insight so we know where to go from here..

    i spoke to DH a few hours ago. he will be home from work at 530 tonight and is going to take DSS to the dr to have a blood test and check over done to rule out illness and anxiety.

    if those results come back and everything seems fine and depending on what the teacher has to say etc.. then DH and i will be sitting him down and discussing it further to try and get to the bottom of it and let him know that we cant have him being absent from school if it's just a "i dont want to go" thing..

    so number one thing on our list.. ruling out illness/anxiety at the drs tonight.. meanwhile, when i pick the kids up from school i might suggest that he go and get his sister from class while i quickly talk to his teacher - only thing is he will probably rush back as i know he wont like the fact that im staying behind to talk to the teacher.. but i dont have much choice really. i've had no phone call and call me inpatient but i would really like to discuss this with the teacher asap to get to the bottom of it.

    just want to thank everyone for your replies! it's so hard not having much experience with a boy this age and i really am grateful for all your advice on the matter!

    see how we go!

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  8. #17
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    can i also add... he must be in the cycle of taking panadol/nurofen quite a bit..

    I gave him a panadol yesterday for the stomach and back pain/cramps that he was complaining about along with the dizziness..

    this morning DH asked him if he was okay and he said yes.. DH left the house and within minutes he was asking me for a panadol.. i asked him why he needed one and he said because he felt dizzy - despite just telling DH he felt fine... I explained to him that he cannot just take panadol for feeling dizzy.. and how it is actually a strong drug for children to take all the time like that.. i told him now and then is fine for muscular pains etc but i wasnt going to give him one.

    he seemed quite aggitated with me after this... so theres also the concern that he thinks panadol/nurofen is a good pain relief and he has been taking it in the past for reasons totally unnecessarilly.

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    A mental health issue is just as real as a physical illness

    Take him to the GP, get a thorough check up and then get a referral to a phychologist

    The 'harden up' approach does not work with some kids - some kids are just a bit fragile and telling them to harden up makes it worse

    Good Luck

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    You mentioned something in an earlier post. He's bored. Perhaps he's not stimulated enough? I'd look down that avenue.

    Unfortunately- my son, at 6yo will complain every now and than about tummy aches. I'm not sure what it is, not sure if it's genuine or not but I do know he is a Mummy's boy and would much prefer to be at home doing nothing particulary special than at school with his friends. So, he usually goes. I've taken him to the docs a number of times with nothing eventuating- he's had blood tests before with nothing showing up. He goes until I get a gut feeling that it's something we can work with.

    Is it possible for a reward chart?

  11. #20
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    That is a worry. Perhaps visit a psychologist as well as a paediatrician.On the topic of leaving school, would a school based traineeship be worth looking into when he hits year 10? It might be worth offering options. Also, I know it was his choice, but he is at the age now where boys handle changes to the family unit very badly. I don't mean it should not have happened, but perhaps it's the vhange but he is unaware that that's what causes it. He might need some help to get through it.You are obviously very caring people, but adolescent boys are tricky. When my parents split up, my older brother and I had grown up and left home, my little brother was turning 12. Let me tell you, he was horrible for the next few years! But with family counselling without him (to figure out what to do) and personal counselling for him alone, we got through it. Ignore me if you like lol, just throwing out ideas.


 

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