DH and I built up a successful business, which means that I can now be a SAHM. I am still financially independent if we were to split up, but DH goes to work and I look after DD. I don't do much in the way of cleaning, but neither does DH (we have cleaners), and we both love to cook so we tend to share that 50/50. Even if I were to do it all then I would still identify as a feminist.
I don't agree with Gothchick's opinion that men are more suited to high powered positions. As a previous holder of one of those positions I felt comfortable and capable, and never really considered my gender or that of people around me as relevant to my career progress.
I also think that DH would do a great job of being a SAHD. In some ways he is better suited to home life than I am!
As someone else pointed out (I think it was Benji?) - there are many cultures worldwide where women and men share jobs equally. There is nothing intrinsically human about the woman at home and the man in the office!
I don't expect to be saved first due to my gender, and I don't expect to be offered seats on public transport. I do expect doors to be held open for me by both genders, and I would do the same for either gender. I don't expect princess treatment. I expect courtesy and manners from men and women, and I will give the same in return.
Yes. I believe in equal rights and I am a SAHM. My husband works in the mines but on his days home, he does plenty of 'housework'.
"Woman are the only ones benefiting in most societies". This is just not right. Women are oppressed in a large part of the world. Women live in poverty more than men. Women get more diseases then men. What societies are you talking about? Your suburb?
Your 'facts' about domestic violence are just awful. And so demeaning to women. And so untrue. There is no doubt that DV to men doesn't get enough attention, but stating that men are abused more than women? That's just a downright, unproven, insulting lie. I'm just sad that people have read this diatribe of ancient quotes and homemade facts and believed it. For shame.
BTW, one would hardly call Valerie Solanos a leader of modern feminism. I'd say you should do some homework if you want to be so forthright.
Last edited by Alexander Beetle; 30-01-2012 at 23:34.
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my relationship is a partnership, 50/50, but theres no 'keepig score' of who does what.
i consider myself a feminist, as i support a womans right to bodily autonomy, even though i may not agree with her choices (ie abortion, s3x work, pron)
my job is a mum, not a housewife. if i get cleaningvdinner done, yay, if not dh will do it. our children are my priority. and to be perfectly honest in the last 4 weeks, i havent cooked a single meal, ive changed 6 nappies, and slept (and spewed) 18 hrs a day while dh has child minded and done housework.
but there no keeping tabs, and hes not my servant (though the ms has knocked me about!) rather my partner who is helping while i grow a baby.
but then neither of us has had traditional roles, dh only studies 12 hrs a week (4hrs from home) and everything is 50/50.
we both have seperate money (but based on how we recieved the money, rather than through planning) but also joint accounts for everything else.
so we are complete equals, yet dont have 'roles' through choice.
Yes. I would say I'm a feminist and I'm a stay at home mum, I do the bulk of the cleaning and the cooking, and DP is the breadwinner. It's my choice, I could go and do paid work and then DP and me would share home responsibilities more equally, but that would mean we would spend less time together as we'd be cooking and cleaning after a day of work and on the weekend, and the kids would have to go to childcare. That would suck for me. I love being a stay at home mum. Saying that I also have a uni degree so I know that when I want to go back to work I have the option to do something I like.
Radical feminism is a philosophical stance based on the concept that patriarchy is a force that oppresses women, and from this oppression of women, all other kinds of oppression spring. We (I) also believe that some radical social changes and restructurings need to take place in order to ensure that all people - women, men, Caucasian, Aboriginal (or otherwise), transgendered, gay or straight, able bodied or disabled (etc etc etc) are seen as fundamentally equal and that their rights are upheld. I don't believe that this can happen until women are no longer oppressed.
It does not mean that I want to be superior to men. It does not mean that I believe in ANY way that the eugenic abortion of male foetuses, babies, children (or men for that matter) is anything less than evil. It doesn't mean that I believe that a woman can't consider herself a feminist if she's in a relationship. It does mean that I believe that it's extremely difficult (if not actually impossible) to achieve a truly equal relationship in our current society. It does not mean that that I hate men, for maude's sake! I'm married to a man I love with all my heart, have a son who is amazing and gorgeous and I most definitely love him - equally to how much I love his adorable sister - I love my Dad, my BILs, my male friends. I spent half the weekend tracking down a (male) mate who's having a tough time with a relationship breakdown and was threatening suicide. Does that sound like the action of a woman who hates men?
And in talking to my many, MANY radical feminist friends - most of whom are mothers, married or single, with very much loved partners/husbands and male children - these are not the attitudes of your standard radical feminist. Most of them are just people who can see inequality and want change - and will work toward it.
ETA: This blog can be an awesome starting resource for people who are wanting to know more about feminism - or believe one of the many myths about feminism that seem to float round (man-haters, all lesbians, sex-haters, hairy, bra-burners, male eugenics etc).
Last edited by Tam-I-Am; 30-01-2012 at 20:56.
ToughLove, I can see now why you don't like feminism. It really is best not to form opinions based on extremists.
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