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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToughLove View Post
    No. Because the original, and lasting, idea of feminism isn't about equality, it's about women being the better gender.

    If it was about equality, they would call themselves equalists.

    A woman cannot say she is a hard core feminist and have an equal and respectable partnership in any relationship that is with a male.

    To illustrate this, here are some quotes said by the leaders of modern feminism. Read these, imagine they are being said about your fathers, grandfathers, sons, husbands and brothers, and then tell me if these messages are indicative of a healthy goal.

    "To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he's a machine, a walking dildo." -- Valerie Solanas, Authoress of the SCUM Manifesto (SCUM stands for Society for Cutting Up Men)


    "I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred and discrimination against the class that is oppressing them." -- Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor

    The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race. 0% is too much to hope for but is nevertheless a worthy goal" -- Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future - If There Is One - Is Female

    All men are rapists and that's all they are" -- Marilyn French, Authores

    "All feminist women, and there should be no other sort, should consider now the postive things that will come of eradicating men. Demand and exercise your right to abort the male fetus and leave the female. This is the only way we can prevent our daughters becoming victims of romantic notions that men are people too"- SCUM


    Those are a few of the reasons that I do not support feminism. I also choose not to support it because it claims to want to end sexism against women, but in doing so it makes sexism against men a goal.

    At the current time, feminism was meant to open up new opportunities for women.
    It very quickly escalated into revenge, and little else. Women are still being led to believe that they are getting the short end of the stick, when in reality they are the only ones benefitting in most societies.
    How many of you know that men experience domestic violence in the home more than women? But you still are told that only men abuse, and only women are victims, through various sources. Daughters are taught that they shouldn't stand up for a man doing something they don't like, sons are taught to do nothing that might anger a woman.
    It's the revenge mindset and it's extremely unhealthy.

    Because I've already been insulted a few times privately, and have no wish for the insults to turn public and snowball into a "me" VS "them", I won't return to this thread.

    Anyone wishing to talk about this further without hostility, if you please thank you , can PM me.

    Also, an apology for those who have already PMed and asked for my email address, I have a popup blocker and I don't always check my email for notifications. I will get around to it.
    You're a brave lady

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  3. #42
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    Quoting extremists and saying "this is what feminism is," is like quoting the Taliban and saying that's what all Muslims are like. It's silly.

    Anyway, I would call myself a feminist - but elsewhere online it was suggested I couldn't possibly be, and was perhaps even an anti-feminist because I get DP his meals for him, and take his plate away when he is done. This tiny snippet of info apparently meant I was subserviant... though, in reality, it is a choice of mine to do these things, partly because I think it's just nice to do something for him, and partly because there are reasons why it makes sense for me to do it. That's really why the question was posed here... to see if others thought these sorts of "old-fashioned," acts meant a woman could not possibly be a feminist.

    FWIW, I am not financially independant... I am studying full-time and hope to be raising money for my family afterwards... but for now, I will just be doing my course and relying on DP's income to get us by. I'm also the type of feminist who dresses in pretty, girly dresses, does my hair and make-up and shaves my legs. I'd happily LOOK like I belonged in the 50s... but I do appreciate the freedoms I have as a woman now compared to back then.

    I am of the "feminism is about freedom of choice," camp...

    As for WHY someone might want to play Little Betty Housefrau in her family, she might just get a sense of joy from doing these things. People express love in different ways, and I believe some people like to express their love by DOING things for others. I know that I like to cook for people, but given my partner is fussy, there's not much I can cook to show him I care, and so I do take to DOING things. I don't spend my days ironing his socks (bleh!) but someone else might find happiness in doing that, and if that's the case, then power to them I say!

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  5. #43
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    I think people are thinking of what is commonly referred to as "feminazis" where (very few) women believe men belong chained up and used only for sperm donation. I have never met such a person, however I have heard of them.

  6. #44
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    *shrugs*

    All these labels... My label printer will have a fit soon...

    I rule this house. I'm the boss. Hubby & I would be better swapping bodies - If you go by typical stereotypes.

  7. #45
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    Definitely I'm a SAHM do most of the housework and cooking (DH works and studies)... and shock horror I'm a feminist. Feminism is about inequality and choice as Ana said. I *want* to be a SAHM.

    As for these stereotypical tired definitions about feminists that they have to lord over their husbands I actually laughed at loud. Same that the poor menz are somehow picked on or disdvantaged bc their partner has equal say. My husband has EQUAL say we are a team. There's no boss. I don't have my DH chained to the sink bc I heaven forbid I have an opinion and I voice it (just as DH does).I think people need to re read what feminism is bc this isn't it.

    Sure there can be OTT feminists but that can be said about any subsection of the population. Let's not talk about a tiny minority and make out it's the majority.
    Last edited by delirium; 30-01-2012 at 14:04.

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  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Quoting extremists and saying "this is what feminism is," is like quoting the Taliban and saying that's what all Muslims are like. It's silly.
    You beat me to it Sassy. Those quotes were from radical feminists who are now in their 80's or dead, and the quotes are probably 40-50 years old. I would hope that most feminists dont think like that.

    To answer your question, yes. I call myself a feminist but I also stay at home and care for my DS. I don't believe I am worth less than my DH for choosing to do so and I also don't do 100% of the housework and child rearing. We have an equal partnership, but he goes out to work, and my job is home with the kids.

    I will raise both my DS and soon to be arriving DD that they can do anything they want if they have the skills an work hard. If DD wants to join the Army and go fight in wars, I can't say I will be thrilled, but I would feel the same if it was DS. But both have the "right" to do it if they desire and pass all the tests/training etc.
    Last edited by Californication; 30-01-2012 at 13:13.

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  11. #47
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    I run this house, I rule this house, I still do all the home-duties...
    My hubby isn't chained cause I'm boss... He can do what he wants, provided it doesn't sh1t me off... Meh, it works for us...

  12. #48
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    I think it's pretty obvious that most men and women who call themselves feminist (and even more besides, most people IME - although obviously not all) want women to have equal rights and equal choice in their lives to men, and recognise that we're not quite there yet.

    I reject the notion that feminism has ever been about forming a new matriarchal-based society, or putting women's rights above women, or saying that all women must do x, y and z to be called a feminist or anything like that. Unfortunately, the world 'feminist' and 'feminism' has been cooped by a lot of different advocacy and legal groups that have been working against the feminist ideal in order to keep a status quo in a society that is not yet equal. And given that there are as many different forms of feminism as there are feminists in the world (ie we're not a cohesive, homogenous group) it can be pretty easy to undermine feminists as a whole. We have no go-to group, no person or organisation that stands up and states "That's not true! This is what feminists believe!" and even if we did - they'd likely be yelled down because not all feminists believe that particular thing.

    But yeah, quoting completely false statistics and entirely fabricated mission statements on behalf of feminism anywhere does nobody any favours really.

    I think, at the end of the day, that there are very few choices that are feminist in nature, but also very few choices that feminists can't make, if that makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tam-I-Am View Post
    I think it's pretty obvious that most men and women who call themselves feminist (and even more besides, most people IME - although obviously not all) want women to have equal rights and equal choice in their lives to men, and recognise that we're not quite there yet.

    I reject the notion that feminism has ever been about forming a new matriarchal-based society, or putting women's rights above women, or saying that all women must do x, y and z to be called a feminist or anything like that. Unfortunately, the world 'feminist' and 'feminism' has been cooped by a lot of different advocacy and legal groups that have been working against the feminist ideal in order to keep a status quo in a society that is not yet equal. And given that there are as many different forms of feminism as there are feminists in the world (ie we're not a cohesive, homogenous group) it can be pretty easy to undermine feminists as a whole. We have no go-to group, no person or organisation that stands up and states "That's not true! This is what feminists believe!" and even if we did - they'd likely be yelled down because not all feminists believe that particular thing.

    But yeah, quoting completely false statistics and entirely fabricated mission statements on behalf of feminism anywhere does nobody any favours really.

    I think, at the end of the day, that there are very few choices that are feminist in nature, but also very few choices that feminists can't make, if that makes sense.
    Very well said.

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    Course you can. I think it defeats the purpos to put rules on women on how they should or should not live.

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