Not quite sure....

**Iskiea** · 28-01-2012 11:55

Long story short... since it's sort of a long one.

Over a year ago I stopped using the contraceptive injection, two months later I ended up with an ovarian cyst which burst and caused an abdominal infection. It took over 100 days from my last period I got on the implant for me to get AF again. Even then it wasn't all back to normal, in fact it wasn't until the end of last year AF sort of went back to her normal cycle. Turns out I am unable to use hormonal contraception [I also had a rather bad experience with the implant and an allergy to the pill runs in my mothers family.]

During all this time for the past 2 years I've been active with my best mate. Sort of a friends with benefits thing. Admittedly we were stupid and even after I was off the injection we still did it without protection. Even so not once did I ever have a scare, my period was on time and everything.

It's been over 6 months since we've been doing it about once a month and well I don't know why but I just felt I had to take a test. Mostly because I am due for AF tomorrow and haven't had any of my normal symptoms that I have with her.

I also had an x-ray on my foot on monday morning and quite assuredly said to the person that I was not pregnant. [Turns out foot isn't broken but did bruise bone and tore some ligaments, but I'm on the mend]. However the question sort of stuck in my mind, as well as my GP who told me that is was good that I wanted to have children and was so interested in making sure I was normal and that my fertility was good. Though I assured him I wasn't intentionally trying, he explained how each month the chances go up and that 3 months is about normal for my age to conceive in and that I only really have to worry if nothing has happened after 18 months.

Well, this morning under all these feelings I decided to take the plunge. So I got one of the Forelife tests and I sat down and took it. After the time was up I had the faintest, barest of lines. I'm not sure if I can read this as positive or not..

I don't really know what to do either. I can't wait to have kids but I know my best friend doesn't want any. Not for a very very long time. Not to mention that I am moving to Newcastle middle of this year. If I went through with this I would be doing it on my own most likely and I doubt I would get any support.

My parents might be... but then again I'm not entirely sure I want to deal with them. They tend to chew me out and tell me what I can and cannot do and how because of one personality trait of mine or another they think I have I will be unable to do it. I would also be the only single mother in the family and most of my family outside my parents is fairly religious. I didn't ever think I would feel this way.

So I just don't know.. I'm sort of scared. Yeah I'm 23, turning 24.. Almost the same age as my mother. She was 24 when I was born and already married by my age. Even so.. I just don't know..

**Thunderstorm** · 28-01-2012 12:22

Thats a positive hun

.
Perhaps seeing a counseller would be an option for you.
i am sure your GP could recommend one for you.
Good luck.

**insanity** · 28-01-2012 12:28

That's definitely positive. I agree a counsellor would be good.. even if it's just one you talk to on the phone like lifeline. Don't rush in to any decisions because you feel you have to. Take some time to think over what you want for 'you'

**GM01** · 28-01-2012 12:38

There are a lot of mothers that need to go it alone for various reasons, not suggesting that it is easy in any way, but it is possible.
I have a friend who was having an affair when she fell pregnant with her first. He didn't want to keep it but she wouldn't bow to his pressure, she left him, didn't even ask for his name to be on the birth certificate and did it herself, while starting a now successful business. If your friend doesn't want it you could do the same, in a 'no hard feelings' way just tell him he doesn't have to be involved. But you never know, once he finds out he might want to be involved and supportive?
I would take your time, don't rush any decisions, see your doctor, talk to them. Talk to people on the forum and tell your friend as well. The more you get to discuss this (without telling the world) the more clarity you will get.

Good luck x

**Iskiea** · 28-01-2012 20:10

Well I've considerably calmed down from this morning and went and visited two of my friends today and chatted with them. One of them remarked that I was being awful calm about it all and she would have thought I would have freaked out more and burst into tears... Well admittedly I was scared this morning, I was worried, didn't cry but even so.. I'm a lot calmer now.

At the moment my only two options are to abort it or raise it, as I know for certain I could never give it up for adoption. There are a lot of things I want to do. I also show my dog as well and that will be a little harder now days. I know one definite thing is that I want to move to Newcastle regardless. I also need to get my license.

All your comments have also helped, I'll be seeing a doctor tomorrow most probably to get clearance to go back to work on my foot. If I don't bring it up then I will see the doctor on tuesday which is my day off.

**munchkin05** · 29-01-2012 16:10

Making the decision to go it alone is hard but if it's what you want then don't worry about what anyone thinks or says
I'm 24 weeks preg with a little princess and fell unexpectedly but knew I wanted this baby as soon as I found out. I'm in a similar situation as you. FOB and I had been friends with benifits for 3 years seeing each other every second weekend when DS was with his dad. I have told FOB about the baby (cause I felt I had to give him the option of being there or not ) and well I haven't heard from him since .. It's been nearly 10 weeks since I told him
My mum was shocked as well as the rest of the family when I told them but they have all been really supportive and my mum is going nuts helping with all the stuff that I need
I was the first single mother in our family and now I'm the first to fall pregnant while not even in a relationship (guess I like testing my family reactions out lol )

Good luck with ur decision

**Iskiea** · 29-01-2012 16:22

I told my FOB last night and watched him meltdown.. sadly it was amusing to me and he reacted as I had expected.. We were in a Friends with benefits thing seeing each other about once a month... He pretty much definitely doesn't want it..

I told my sister today and she's really excited, didn't react how I thought and is super supportive. Which is great. I think after I've seen the doctor I know my decision will be to keep it..

In my family my sister was the first to shock my religious grandparents by having a baby out of wedlock.. They're over it now but only because she's still with the guy and they have four kids together.. One of my cousins who has two was married shortly before she had her first so at least she was married. She also gave both her children bible names and married into a rather religious family..

I however will be the first single mother, and the first to fall pregnant without being in a relationship.. I'm waiting for the doctor before I tell my parents.. Though that will be the biggest hurdle.. Sort of cringing at the thought of their reaction.. but I will have to tell them.

I'll also still be moving to Newcastle.. It's closer to my sister and she's so excited about it. Said she'll support me no matter what I choose as she was pressured by her mother into aborting her first child as a teenager. So she's really good for advice.

**waterlily** · 29-01-2012 16:42

Sounds like you have already made your mind up to keep it which is great.
Wishing you the best of luck.

**TripleTime** · 29-01-2012 18:46

Things all work in the end.

I fell pregnant at 20 with triplets & am now married, kids turn 3 in may.

Newcastle is also an awesome place to raise kids. We moved from Newcastle to Melbourne last year & are moving back to Newcastle in 2 weeks.

**Iskiea** · 29-01-2012 22:06

Might see you up there then Triple Time, I'm hoping to move up in march.. Also got a dog sheep herding clinic to go to in march just outside of Canberra in Binalong I think it was.. So I'll be moving somewhere around the mid/late end of march. Whilst I'm still able to work living up there for a bit.