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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone else with a 10+ year gap? Feeling nervous

    I was a young mum with my DS, who is now almost 11. That relationship broke down and then I was a single mum for 6 years before meeting DP. After 4 years together DP and I have decided it's time to start TTC. We both want 2-3 more and were not getting any younger!

    So now, by the time number 2 comes along DS will likely be 12!! I've wanted more for years but now that were trying I'm getting scared. I think the main 2 things I worry about are losing my independence (not being able to work for awhile, not being able to travel in the same way, etc etc), and money. Part of it is that I've had all these years to think of how perfectly I'll do it all next time (lol). It's hard to accept that it will NEVER be perfect. Does anyone else feel this way? Or have you?

    I really want more children but now I'm getting cold feet and thinking of stopping TTC, which is so confusing as I don't know what I'm really waiting for!

    Does anyone have any positive stories?

  2. #2
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    Hi there

    I don't have a positive story to share, but I'm in the same boat! Or was a few months ago, I'm currently pregnant with #3 and have DD who is 11 and DS who is 12! I left their father wen DD was 4 and spent 3 yrs as a single mum until I met DH, 3 years later we TTC, and 5 years alter here we are!

    I still have mini freak outs thinking I can't study like I wanted to when the 2 kids go off to high school as I'll have a new baby and be gearing up for the next one! Money is also a concern.. but at the end of the day, Id rather die with a happy family and no regrets than a bank account full of money..it won't be there to hold my hand during my last moments, nor will the big house, cars or holidays! We do struggle a bit, but we are still happy with us..we just don't have luxuries Looking forward to Dh coming home from work is what makes our lives perfect..he walks in the door and we all pounce on him..when he works late the kids ask 70 times about when he will be home
    We are more than happy to add to that!
    Everyone is so excited about this baby..its hard to feel anything other than joy at the moment as we wait for her arrival!

  3. #3
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    I do!!!

    I have DD 18, DD 15, DS 13 and DS 8 months!

    The older kids father and I seperated when DS was tiny. I was on my own for almost 10 years and then met DP. I never thought i would have any more kids but DP had none of his own so there i found myself having another baby!

    I worried about what other people would think and then i thought stuff it! It has nothing to do with anybody else. I have had a lot of smart comments from some people about how i am crazy blah blah but i love it!!!

    It's been like doing it for the first time all over again! I had my first baby at 18 so i have found this time i have so much more patience with a baby.

    He hasn't held us back at all.. we have brought a house and i am returning to work in a week. He is one of the best things that has happened to us and i will never regret choosing to have him for a minute!

    Had i of let the fear of the unknown hold me back i would never of had him.. i'm so glad we chose to go ahead and do it. My older kids are great with him and such a big help and of cause they all love him to bits! He has brought so much joy to all of our lives!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyNo2 View Post
    I think the main 2 things I worry about are losing my independence (not being able to work for awhile, not being able to travel in the same way, etc etc), and money.
    Same thing here DD1 11 DD2 18mths for the same reasons having a live in baby sitter is great but sometimes I do wish for more freedom, I think my biggest issue is not being able to find a job at the moment after being at home for over 2 years

    other than that if you want more go for it the good outweighs the bad

  5. #5
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    My dss will be 13 when bub is born. He is also special needs . I'm lucky that his mum just had a baby too so he has had a chance to get used to hers. In saying that he is much much closer to his dad so may struggle here but because it's "dad" he will still be able to Go do boys stuff cause I can stay at home with bub.

  6. #6
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    It's so nice to hear that other people had the same worries. Sometimes TTC is full of so much positivity about babies that I feel like an ogre for not being so upbeat about it all the time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MaybeBabyNo2 View Post
    I feel like an ogre for not being so upbeat about it all the time.
    Don't worry TTC is a nightmare for a lot of us

  8. #8
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    I had an 8 year age gap between my dd1 and dd2, and it has been great. It was easier to get adjusted to having a new bubs when there was a bigger age gap and I was able to focus much more on the little one. This hasn't been as easy third time round with only 16 months between dd2 and ds.
    Good luck and stay positive. Your very lucky you have found someone to start this exciting journey with again.
    And on a us side, As said in a previous post, be thankful you have a live in babysitter.

  9. #9
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    Yep me! I have a 15yr old, a soon to be 13yr old... and a 7 week old baby

    My 12yr old (DD) looooves to help out, while my 15yr old (DS) gives an occasional cuddle.

  10. #10
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    Hey guys


    I'm about to have my first but I thought I'd chime in on this topic. My siblings are significantly older than me... 13yrs, 17yrs, 26yrs and 29yrs older... N I've always had a great relationship with my siblings and as a kid nothing taught me more than staying with my sisters n brothers. Pls don't stress if ur kids r a lil apart. My folks only issue was dealing with the change in generation n wat I was n wasn't allowed to do... In comparison to all the other kids. I guess u could say I was raised with an old generation mentality (which wasn't a bad thing) just explain things to ur kids n u'll b fine

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Sasssssy For This Useful Post:

    MaybeBabyNo2  (03-03-2012)


 

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