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  1. #1
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    Unhappy About to be a single mother and I'm scared.

    Hi again.

    I posted the other day about issues DP and I were having.

    Basicaly I gave him an ultimatum to stop using drugs (he only uses a few times a year but it's the hard stuff) or I'm out. He gets violent when he uses and this is what has prompted me to ask him to go cold turkey.

    He said he's given up enough for me already, and this was the last straw.

    So I'm out.

    I am heartbroken for my baby. I'm 23 weeks pregnant so she will never know what it's like to have mummy and daddy together.

    I'm scared of doing it alone. How do you cope financially? I looked at the centrelink website and I have no idea how I am meant to pay rent etc. I can only claim new start right now and who is going to hire someone who is 23 weeks pregnant?

    I wanted more for my baby. I know there are so many amazing single mothers out there...heck, my own mother was one. I just don't feel like I have the courage that you ladies do.

    I'm in this state all alone, so I have no where to stay but with him for now. I have $100 in my bank account.

    What a disaster!
    Last edited by bubhubber undercover; 27-01-2012 at 20:48.

  2. #2
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    Not a single parent, but do you qualify for the sickness benefit while pregnant? I know you do in NZ.

  3. #3
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    No, apparently not here.

    They told me on the phone today that I will be expected to actively look for work and keep a diary of it etc.

  4. #4
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    **sorry in advance for crashing this section***

    Loads of

    Is there anyone at all that you can move back to where ever your family is?

    I'm sorry this has happened, I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you.

  5. #5
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    Hun, you don't know it yet, but this will be the best thing that has ever happened for you. Your daughter will be okay and you are going to be okay she will have an absolutely incredible mother who loves and cares for her and both of you will be free of an abusive and selfish man and an unhappy home life.

    You can do this. Best thing to do is make an appointment and go in to c/link in person and explain the situation. They should be able to offer you a separated but living under the same roof type of payment (someone else can explain that in more detail I'm sure) which should help you out for now. As for single parenting pension - yeah it's tough - but you can make it work.

    Can you not contact your family and ask them to chip in for a plane flight home? I hate to think of you stuck there.... what state are you in - perhaps we can help?

    xxx

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    MilkingMaid  (28-01-2012)

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by bubhubber undercover View Post
    No, apparently not here.

    They told me on the phone today that I will be expected to actively look for work and keep a diary of it etc.
    Could you do admin temping or anything?

  8. #7
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    You can get new start exoticism for looking from work due to being preg I applied for it it was granted. But then knocked back because I wasn't 16 at the time I wasn't eligible for it but ask to speak to a Centrelink social worker ive found they can be very helpful

  9. #8
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    When I was pregnant I could get Newstart without looking for work because I got a letter from my doctor saying that I was too sick to look for work.
    I had bad m/s. I wish I could've been working though, it is tough to live off Newstart.

  10. #9
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    Hi,
    I haven't read your other post but what skills do you have or work experience? You will be ok, you just need to breathe and think. In some areas you can get work as a live-in companion. This provides accomodation, bills and some pay. Your centrelink will top this up. What state are you in?

  11. #10
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    Thank you all so much for your insight. Centrelink are phoning me in the morning to run through my claim so I will ask lots of questions then.

    He and I are still living under the same roof, but oh my gosh do I miss him.

    I might be over reacting...it's probably pregnancy hormones. I mean, people can be happy in a relationship if one of them chooses to do drugs three or four times a year, can't they? He's rarely violent...it's just that the two times I've been scared of him have also been on nights where he has used meth.

    So sorry to ramble and use this as a sounding board.

    to you all.


 

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