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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    If she had raised him since he was 14 months old and I lived interstate. Only visiting him 3 times in 7 years and DS flying over once maybe twice a year to see me, while another woman raised him in every sense?
    I would succumb to the fact that I really didn't have a choice and she in fact was his 'mum' as well.
    Well I wouldn't be okay with it.

  2. #22
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    Ex and I made a deal before we had even broken up that DD wouldn't call anyone else mum or dad, this is mainly for me though as I would hate for DD to call anyone else mum when it's my special title for having carried, delivered and raised her, I'm not letting some chick take that title from me!

    DD did try calling one of my exes daddy at one stage, we lives together and she was only 3, but we kept reminding her who her daddy was and that while she only has one daddy, exDP, is her special buddy go loves her just the same but again, she already has a daddy.

    I agree, it's is unfair when both parents are involved in the children's lives for them to call anyone else mum or dad. It would personally kill me if DD was to claim another lady as her other mum.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Well I wouldn't be okay with it.
    Fair enough. I'm sure you won't ever be in the situation where it becomes an issue for you, I hope not anyway!
    I just wanted to emphasise your point about it being "unfair" to the bio parent, because honestly I don't give 2 hoots about what's fair to him. What matters is that DS has 2 loving parents who have created a very stable and happy home. There are 3 other children in DH's life who call him Dad, what would be unfair is to discourage DS from also calling him Dad when it happened so naturally for him at 2 years old.
    Unfortunately for FOB he rates 2nd best on DS's Dad scale. All his own doing so if he has a problem, meh.
    Nothing personal blissedout as I know we have differing opinions on step families I just get very passionate about DH's and DS's relationship and the thought that he shouldn't be calling him Dad would absolutely break his 7 yr old heart (and ours!)

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  5. #24
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    They call him Dad and call their Bio dad by nameETA: They know who their dad is but when we talk about him his first name. When they are talking about my husband they say Dad
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 03-02-2012 at 18:29.

  6. #25
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    DSD (5yo) has called me dad/daddy for the past few years. Recently DW and I made the decision for her to call me by my first name. It's taking a while to get used to hearing it though as well as reminding her to use my first name. She does slip up on occasion, and I smile to myself when I hear it, but remind her again..

    Sperm donor has nothing to do with us whatsoever by his choice. By using my first name, it's a reminder that I'm not her bio dad and to help her when she finds out what happened to her bio dad. I know DSD knows in her heart that I am as much of a dad to her as anyone can be.. And thinks of me as dad.

    Although she may get a little confused when our DS is born in a few months and when he's able to talk and is allowed to call me dad.


    Any1 can be a father.. It takes a special someone to be a dad, and a greater person to be a stepdad.

    Me:28 She;28 DSD;5 DS;in progress

  7. #26
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    Nmgb is offline No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm ♡
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    My step dad's name is Stephen so I called him "Step-Hen"

  8. #27
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    i let my kids decide - my daughter chooses to call DF dad ( even tho bio dad is in their life) and my son calls him by his first name sometimes dad.. I just let them call what they feel confortable
    my DSS calls me by my first name - refers to me as his Step-mum

  9. #28
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    They call DH by his name or nickname. The refer to him as step dad when talking about him to people outside the family.

    DD wanted to call him dad and did a few times but never really felt comfortable.

    FOB is in their lives though, and I didn't meet DH until they were 6 & 7. I left ex when they were 4 & 5.

  10. #29
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    DD1 calls DH daddy (her step dad) he has been in her life since she was 11mths old. he plays a much bigger role in her life than X ever wanted to.

    she calls X dad. so in her eyes she has a daddy and a dad.
    she is happy with that and so are we.

    X had a hissy when she started calling DH daddy but i told him it was all her own choice so he agreed it was ok


 

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