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  1. #1
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    Default I'm on the edge...23 weeks pregnant and desperate for help.

    Hi everyone,

    I am 23 weeks pregnant and my life is falling apart.

    I have friends on here so I have created an alias...I hope that's okay.

    A bit of background...DP and I have been together for nine years. He got into property investing and basically lost a lot of money as his business partner stole 200k from him.

    Things are in court over that, but whatever happens, we have to go bankrupt. DP is a mess...he has a short temper and is really struggling with things.

    We also want to move from where we live now, to another state (VIC) to be with family before bubs is born.

    We got into an argument today because I asked him once again to stop using drugs at parties and he refused. Now...he's not by any means addicted. He has used three times in the past 12 months, but that is 3 times too many in my book. He has known my feelings on this all along and for years has said he will quit in his time.

    With bubs on the way, I want him to quit now. He said he needs an outlet and an escape from this crappy life we have found ourselves living.

    I said that wasn't healthy and he had better work on finding a healthier coping mechanism.

    It got heated and he knows I might leave over this because I feel so strongly. He yelled at me for abandoning him over something so stupid when he is going through the worst time of his life.

    He threw the phone at me because he told me to book a flight and get out of here now. The phone bounced off the back of the couch and hit me hard and my ear started bleeding. He demanded to inspect my fingernails because I must have done it to myself to cause drama. I was sobbing...

    He then cooled off and apologised profusely...told me he was mortified for what he did, that he didn't mean it and he doesn't deserve me. Told me I had every right to leave.

    I've been a mess all day, and he's gone out for coffee with a friend because he thinks we need time apart.

    I have no friends or family in this state. Not a soul I can call up and confide in about this.

    Please tell me...was I out of line? Should I be okay with him occasionally using drugs (meth and speed)...have I strung him along?

    This all came up because a friend of his, who uses meth a lot, invited DP and I out for dinner this Friday night and DP wants me to stay home because I wouldn't have fun since I can't drink. He won't promise to be home at a reasonable hour and he won't compromise.

    Sorry for this long vent...I am just so lost and I don't even know if I'm in the right.

    TIA for any replies.
    Last edited by bubhubber undercover; 25-01-2012 at 17:59.

  2. #2
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    Hi.
    Hope everything is ok.

  3. #3
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    Hope all is alright?


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    Needing a vent? Hope you're ok.

  5. #5
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    Sorry I accidently submitted before I wrote my long rant.

    Edited OP now.

  6. #6
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    No you are not being unreasonable at all. my ex's drug use was the end for us, his moods etc got worse and worse on it,as well as his reasoning skills etc. Drug use rarely stays static, usually gets worse, and you will know about only a fraction of it, 'cos he will lie to you, as he knows you don't like it. Mine lied through his teeth to me about it for years.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MilkingMaid For This Useful Post:

    Ashram  (10-06-2012),funnymama  (25-01-2012),laurea  (26-01-2012)

  8. #7
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    Hi,

    You are so not out of line and he threw something at you!

    I would be drawing a line. I did with my DP And he has been clean for 8 months. It's a black and white situation and if he can't see it that way, he needs to speak with a professional.

    I have to say, it's a hard slog but if you both have a goal (clean, healthy and happy relationship) then it is easier to work towards.

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    Hugs honey I hope you are ok

    I know it must be a extremely stressful situation for you both but that gives him no right to throw things at you. Do you think he would of calmed down by the time he gets home so you can talk? If not I think if it's possible maybe you should catch a flight to go and see your family and if your worried about tonight maybe stay in a hotel until you can get a flight. Your safety along with the bubs is the most important.

    In the long term could he maybe seek counseling either by himself or together.

    In regards to the drug problem I can't comment as I don't know the whole story ie if he's been taking them for the last 10 years why is it just a problem now? Did he say that he would stop taking them all together once you fell pregnant? Or are you just expecting him to give them up cause you are pregnant?

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    I don't think you are out of line at all.

    He threw something at you and then though you must of injured yourself when you were bleeding? That's very irrational. Do you feel safe? Has he ever had out bursts like this?

    If he is using party drugs then he is putting his life at risk. Seriously. Any Tom, D!ck or Harry with a pill press, cough meds, microwave and drain-o can make some unique el-cheapo blend and sell it to some unsuspecting loser. You have a child on the way so it's rather irresponsible to take drug that could end his life. Is he depressed and trying to self medicate?

    I think he needs help...stay safe...



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    laurea  (26-01-2012)


 

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