I was sexually abused by my father's stepfather when I was three. Now that I have a daughter I am VERY wary about leaving her at people's houses. I completely trust my parents, my partner and my sister and that's it. I'm not really ready to leave her full stop, but have been leaving her for half-hour to an hour so I can do food-shopping or soak in the tub. But I am getting a bit of pressure from my partner to let his mum and his step-father look after our 5 month old for a couple of hours here and there as well. I am NOT interested.
If you can't see the correlation, he wants me to let my daughter be looked after her father's stepfather (who has made some VERY inappropriate breastfeeding comments, so much that I refuse to feed in front of him). My dad totally gets where I'm coming from and thinks that if I'm not ready, and I don't trust them 100% then don't do it. But I'm getting all this "leave it in the past" "don't let it run your life" nonsense from my partner and it's really ****ing me off that he's not being supportive about this-after all, I only want what's best for her!
I tried to explain to my MIL (after she whinged to DP that I don't trust her with DD) that it's not that I don't trust her, it's that I don't trust anyone and that it's my issues rather than specifically pointing them at her. Even still, she flew off the handle about "I've treated you like a daughter and welcomed you into my home and you still won't trust me" "I'm not like that" etc etc. When I really feel she could have been a bit more understanding about the background of my trust issues. My mum sort of exaggerates when she talks to MIL and says that I don't ever leave her with DD to try and make her feel better.
Has anyone else had to deal with trust issues with family and the constant pressure that you just cannot bow to? It's driving me nuts.