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  1. #81
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    **Haven't read all replies**

    I have a high libido, and DF has what would be considered a low libido due to his job demands and his stress levels. We still have s3x, about once a week to once a fortnight (both could be normal for us, dependant on his shifts etc).
    Would I consider an open relationship because of this? Nope. I am happy to have sex with only him, when he is in the mood for it. Sometimes his libido goes high, sometimes it is non-existent. I'm patient and for me a huge part of sex is the connection and trust between us, it's the love.

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  3. #82
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Wow, interesting. Really seems to be a 50/50 split on this. Love seeing the world from someone else's POV!

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  5. #83
    ToughLove's Avatar
    ToughLove is offline Meaner than a junkyard dog
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    Long term relationship here.

    We long ago came to the agreement that we could go to others partners, but it has to be discussed beforehand and if the other person said no, it was a definite no.

    Why not go to a swingers night or put out an ad for a wife swap while you're still young and sexually active, if it's safe and makes you feel good both physically and mentally?

    Nobody can accuse us of having a boring s3x life, and we don't ever suffer trust issues. We have a better and stronger relationship than most of the couples who jealously 'ban' each other from looking at other people.

    It's purely instinctive to want to spread your gene pool as much as possible, why not go with the flow and have a good time?

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  7. #84
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    I worry about diseases and falling pregnant without knowing entirely who owns the baby, obviously my child's father feels the need to spread the love because he has 6 kids that he is aware of. Probably a few he is unaware of. 4 of them are in no way supported by him. I choose abstinence outside of a solid relationship.

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  9. #85
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    dreadlockfairy is offline The best things in life.....aren't things!
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    I think s$x can be an act of love/deep connection to another. But I also think sometimes it can be just physical, just for pleasure.And finally to make things even more confusing, I think it takes a certain personality to detach themselves emotionally when having s$x with someone for a sole physical purpose.So I guess open relationships could work if the person had the right frame of mind. I would be open to an open relationship if my partner was involved, & vice versa. But if they had no interest in s$x, & didn't want to be apart of an open relationship then I don't see it working. If that makes sense???

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  11. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Same. The idea of an open relationship actually makes me feel sick. Heaven forbid DH had an accident or developed a condition where he couldn't do the deed.... I would *cough* service myself.

    I do believe in monogamy. Not from a religious sense, just that that what relationships are about. If you want to sleep around don't get married. If I felt at any time I wanted to sleep with someone else before we got married (we were de facto 6 years before marriage) I would have seen it as a sign something was wrong and not married him.

    I think the 'monogamy isn't normal' thing is often an excuse to cheat in relationships. I will point out I'm not talking about anyone in here. I can in some ways respect that POV, but then don't get married. Why come from the viewpoint that humans can't/shouldn't be faithful then enter into marriage? I guess it can be argued marriage doesn't have to be monogamous.... but why not just be single?

    Hope I haven't offended anyone, I'm more asking genuine questions trying to understand rather than judging. It would be great if someone would be brave enough to share why they have an open marriage and how that ties in with their commitment in marriage...
    I whole heartedly agree! I just can't get my head around the open relationship thing. Surely if you love each other you wouldn't have any reason to bring others into your relationship. I love my husband dearly and there's no way I would share him intimately and vice versa

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  13. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I whole heartedly agree! I just can't get my head around the open relationship thing. Surely if you love each other you wouldn't have any reason to bring others into your relationship. I love my husband dearly and there's no way I would share him intimately and vice versa
    Just because you can't get your head around it, that doesn't mean couples who can don't love each other.

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  15. #88
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    For myself - nope no way to an open relationship.

    I'd stick it out for a while, because I don't have a high s3x drive lately, what with pregnancy, breast feeding, pregnancy... Poor df... Of the 5 years we've been together I've been pregnant or breast feeding for 4 of them and my body really struggles with being multi-functional. Though I do definitely enjoy when we do, I just don't often feel like it. I'm too tired most of the time.

    Anyhoo - if there was love, connection, intimacy & affection... But no s3x or s3xual chemistry, no attraction, OR a physical reason either of us couldn't... It'd take a while before I'd want to leave.

    But ultimately for me an open relationship or a s3xual-less relationship just wouldn't last for me. I want more than that.

    If DF ever said he wanted to get it elsewhere because I wasn't putting out enough I'd tell him feel free, don't let the door hit you on the way out - and dont come back!

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  17. #89
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    It's not something i think would work for me, i am just someone who has an emotional connection to sex and thus i can't really see myself being okay with my DH sleeping with anyone else or me sleeping with anyone else.

    I can see the appeal for other people who can separate sex and love and i think it's a matter of what works for the couple.

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  19. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    An open relationship may not be for me but your relationship sounds amazing. I'm just curious, and this is a totally genuine question, if sex with your hubby is that good why do you bother doing it with anyone else? I only ask because if my DH was that good in bed I would be jumping his bones at any opportunity and wouldn't have time for anyone else.

    You don't have to answer, i'm just honestly curious why you'd bother sampling other menus when what you've got at home is gourmet (and a bit jealous re the great sex. DH and I have fun but i won't lie, there's room for improvement, lol.)
    I appreciate your interest because this is something I'm obviously pretty passionate about.

    Making love/having sex with DH is better than sex with anyone else because I love him more than anything in the world. We know what turns each other on and we're deeply in love and we're expressing this love. But there are things that I like which he doesn't do/doesn't like to do so I enjoy sleeping with men who do these things. Hubby has no problems, I have no problems.

    I understand that it's not for everyone, but we have a brilliant relationship and it works very well for us.

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