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  1. #21
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Oh I forgot about what you said in the title - PLATONIC vs open relationships. Well platonic,to me, means no love, no commitment etc so therefore we would only be friends anyway and wouldn't be having sex with each other either....so an 'open relationship' would not be necessary because you'd just go and be in a relationshiop with someone else.
    I'm curious as to why you see 'platonic' as just friends.

    Platonic love, by definition, is more than friends. It's a love between two people without sexual interaction. This doesn't necessarily mean no affection, and it doesn't mean no commitment or love.

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  3. #22
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    No thank you. I have a very high libido but if DP wasn't interested in sex for any reason that wasn't also a result of something else - ie. not finding me attractive any more - then it's something I'd manage. It'd be HARD. I find going without sex for 5 days difficult, but someone else is not an option for either of us (although I think she'd be 'more okay' with it than I would).

    We'd undoubtably have to work bl00dy hard to maintain intimacy in other ways and I don't think it'd be easy, but it's the only option.

    Also, maybe TMI, but if I'm horny and DP isn't in the mood to 'help me out', she will, say, kiss my ears and hold me while I touch myself - so she's still helping me out, but in a way we're both happy with.

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  5. #23
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    No having other partners is of no interest to dh or I. It's come to light in the town we live that there's a lot of partner swapping going on and we are just bewildered.

    If you aren't with a partner that meets your expectations ei one of you has a high sex drive and the other doesn't why would you continue in the relationship? Wouldn't it be best to work through any issues rather than seek another partner for sexual purposes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    I would. However, I don't know if I believe in monogomy, so i'm looking at it from that perspective...I don't often discuss this viewpoint on here though (bad previous experience).
    This exactly.

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    I understand why people choose to have open relationships, however I don't think I could ever be apart of one! I would turn into a crazy jealous psyco woman!!

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    I think it's strange how 'single mums' get such a bad rap around here if they ever, heaven forbid, have s3x with a new man yet open relationships etc are discussed frequently and nobody discussed STDs, effects on children etc as they do with the 'single mums'????

    I'd prefer a platonic relationship than open. I can totally understand why some would choose open but for me, love and s3x are 100% related since I met DP. I can't even think of even wanting to go to bed with another man since I met him, the thought is a little off-putting actually lol.

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    Last edited by FloatingFairy; 06-02-2012 at 21:59.

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    I'm also one who doesn't relate sex to love.

    However I wouldnt want my partner sleeping with other people because it would make me feel like I couldn't satisfy him. And that's a really big turn on for me so if I didnt have that I would be a pretty unhappy.

    If I had a low libido I would try my hardest to get the problem fixed ASAP. If my partner had a low libido and wasnt doing anything about it then it would cause major problems because sex is extremely important to me in a relationship.

    Please note the key word is ME not anyone else's relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I'd prefer a platonic relationship than open. I can totally understand why some would choose open but for me, love and s3x are 100% related since I met DP. I can't even think of even wanting to go to bed with another man since I met him, the thought is a little off-putting actually lol.
    Same. The idea of an open relationship actually makes me feel sick. Heaven forbid DH had an accident or developed a condition where he couldn't do the deed.... I would *cough* service myself.

    I do believe in monogamy. Not from a religious sense, just that that what relationships are about. If you want to sleep around don't get married. If I felt at any time I wanted to sleep with someone else before we got married (we were de facto 6 years before marriage) I would have seen it as a sign something was wrong and not married him.

    I think the 'monogamy isn't normal' thing is often an excuse to cheat in relationships. I will point out I'm not talking about anyone in here. I can in some ways respect that POV, but then don't get married. Why come from the viewpoint that humans can't/shouldn't be faithful then enter into marriage? I guess it can be argued marriage doesn't have to be monogamous.... but why not just be single?

    Hope I haven't offended anyone, I'm more asking genuine questions trying to understand rather than judging. It would be great if someone would be brave enough to share why they have an open marriage and how that ties in with their commitment in marriage...

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  19. #30
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shannonigans View Post
    Thats great but no I don't think it is meant to be about the love/connection...

    The best sex I've ever had was in a hotel room for approx. 10 hours all up with a guy I went to school with, we hung out in the same group at school, went to same parties etc but never spoke, I always thought he was "hot" but we never connected at school.

    Randomly interected via the internet after we'd both left school and even though the guy is an absolute dead beat semi-criminal, drug-taking, uneducated, not-boyfriend material, self absorbed, arrogant SOB, it was THE.BEST. sex I have ever had in my entire life.

    And I can tell you now...it has nothing to do with love. it was purely physical.

    Anywho,
    I agree, 100%. Different people have sex for different reasons, whether it be for pleasure, emotional bonding, stress relief, reproduction, obligation...it's not necessarily about love or connection.

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