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  1. #21
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    DH and I do pretty well now. When we had just settled into our relationship I was working a lot so never felt up for it very often. Now I only work 10 - 15 hours a week and even with DS we've hit a nice equilibrium. He'd like it a little bit more (like every day or more) but he's still satisfied with the amount of BD he gets. I don't mind how often we DTD as he gets me in the mood, but if he didn't make the effort I'd happily go a little less. We initiate fairly evenly these days too.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shoopuf View Post
    I resent the insinuation that our marriage is in trouble because we don't DTD as regularly as complete strangers would like us to.
    There was a thread and a few spin offs a few months ago with some members saying unless you are having regular sex it's not a real relationship but more a friendship or flatmate set up. It got ugly

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    There was a thread and a few spin offs a few months ago with some members saying unless you are having regular sex it's not a real relationship but more a friendship or flatmate set up. It got ugly
    Oh I must have missed it! Not to worry, probably would have just upset me

  5. #24
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    I do the turning down. We used to be on par, but since I got pregnant I've been through severe morning sickness, severe constipation, depression, low BP and anemia. I don't think I'd have the strength to have sex. My DH respects that. We have spoken about it, and while he admits he wants it he also doesn't want me to just roll over and have his way (massive turn off for him)..and that's seriously about all I could manage at this stage.

    There are peaks and troughs with all aspects of a relationship, sex is just one of those. A bit of understanding goes a long way.

  6. #25
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trusty Chords View Post
    Well if the other person is satisfied of course it's no biggie. I thought however we were talking about when someone is unhappy they are not getting enough sex. If the person doesn't have some kind of sex addiction and just wants an average amount of sex but gets next to nothing why shouldn't they care? I think it's very selfish and one sided to say well I just don't have a big sex drive deal with it. Just as selfish to say I have a big sex drive deal with it. IMO if someone can't meet in the middle with their partner there's an issue after all a partner means equal?
    I think it's more respectful to let my partner have his own s3x drive rather than trying to "fix him" there is nothing wrong with him, we simply have different levels of s3xual appetite, I wouldn't expect him to eat another serve of dinner just because I want a second helping so why would I in regards to s3x? Making someone to meet you in the middle when they clearly don't want to is called marital rape regardless of who is making who.


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  8. #26
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    DH is the one with the higher libido here, but now that he is an old man (27) he would be happy with a few times a week instead of a few times a day like when we were teenagers!

    My drive is VERY up and down over the years, due to the exhaustion both physically and mentally of having two babies and 20 foster kids in the last 3 years. I just felt like I wanted myself to myself and flop on the lounge for some TV at the end of the day, not giving myself to another person who needed me.

    Not that DH ever gets pushy (sometimes just a bit flat if its been a while and I'm still uninterested - and I understand his feelings, but if I don't feel like making an effort then too bad for him, I'm not into compromising when it comes to sex.)

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I think it's more respectful to let my partner have his own s3x drive rather than trying to "fix him" there is nothing wrong with him, we simply have different levels of s3xual appetite, I wouldn't expect him to eat another serve of dinner just because I want a second helping so why would I in regards to s3x? Making someone to meet you in the middle when they clearly don't want to is called marital rape regardless of who is making who.


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    Marital rape - yup!!!

  10. #28
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    bellalika is offline I'm trying my hardest, please don't ask for more.
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    I'm not commenting but I'm very interested in the responses.

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  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by bellalika View Post
    I'm not commenting but I'm very interested in the responses.
    ditto

  13. #30
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    To me and my DH, a relationship is about love, respect, commitment and family.

    Everything else is meh. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. S3x doesn't define our relationship.

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