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  1. #11
    Chicky Pea's Avatar
    Chicky Pea is offline aka 31andReady!!! (I'm not 31 anymore...ha ha!)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    18mths old and no day sleep! Not much you can do about it though if she doesn't want to sleep but they do still need a day sleep at that age and do up until they are 3.5ish.

    My ds ceased wanting his day sleep at about 3yrs but I still make him have quiet lay down time for an hour in the afternoon and he will sleep if he has had a busy morning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    From an indepth sleep program I have followed aside from many articles I have read on the net. Think how you feel when you don't get good sleep, so imagine how littlies must feel. Whether or not they sleep well at night, day naps are very important to keep a child on track with physical and cognitive development therefore the longer it is that they have their day sleep the better.
    I should get a few of these article for my DD to read, so she knows what she should be doing!

    But seriously, as much as I really do appreciate you replying to my thread about lack of naps, I have had about 12 months of fighting my child to sleep during the day and it's always the 'what your child should be doing...' information that really does my head in.

    Up until DD was 9 months old, She was a 'textbook baby'. Her naps where like clockwork, 2 a day, she put herself to sleep, each nap about an 1.5 hrs. Then one day it just stopped for some reason and was never the same again. I fought her every single day for months and months. Went to sleep school, had my mum fly in from interstate several times to help me as I really wasn't coping, and at one point I thought I had PND, because I was a mess everyday. We were both miserable and it turned into a very traumatic thing for both of us, and started affecting our day together.

    That was when she was transitioning to one nap, and she made that change at about 9 months old, so I always knew when she moved to no naps, she would be younger than the 'norm'. I promised myself that when that happened, I would follow her lead instead of imposing onto her what she was supposed to be doing.

    Now that I've accepted that she doesn't sleep in the day, we are both so much happier. She isn't one of these whingy, tired babies. She has the energy and the happiness of a child who naps, and if you saw her at 4pm in the arvo, you would have no idea that she's been up since 7.30am (except for today because it's so hot and she's being a complete pain...).

    I know there are so many studies on just about everything to do with kids, I just think it's difficult to pigeon hole every child into what they 'should' be doing. You have 18 month olds who only just started walking, you have some kids who don't speak til they're 3 and you have kids that drop day sleeps way before they're supposed to. I spent the better part of last year feeling like an inadequate, failure of a mother because my child didn't do what others did (ie. napping) and now that I've accepted that is just who she is, we're all a lot happier for it.

    Again, I really do appreciate you posting. I wish I had one of those children who sleep like clockwork during the day. She just isn't one of them!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by OurLittleBlessing View Post
    I beg to differ, not all children need a day sleep at 3.5. Where did you get this information?
    She is correct - ALL children of this age need a day sleep. Just because they don't have one doesn't mean it's due to not needing one. She is going to bed earlier because she is exhausted and waking up earlier because her sleeping is all out of whack. You can't force her to sleep, but you can leave her in her cot for the duration of the appropriate time period for a day sleep, regardless of how she protests.
    Last edited by Witchypoo; 24-01-2012 at 15:10.

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    Great post ChickyPea. You sound like such an intune Mummy - your DD is a lucky girl!!

    I remember some of your earlier threads, and I'm really glad to hear that things have improved for you

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witchypoo View Post
    She is correct - ALL children of this age need a day sleep. Just because they don't have one doesn't mean it's due to not needing one. Try harder.

    Seriously??? Where are you getting this info? Genuine question.

    BTW, what do you suggest the OP should do to try harder... sedate her child? That is SO unhelpful.

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    Witchypoo - for some children, all that would acheive is a negative association with the cot/bed.

  6. #16
    Chicky Pea's Avatar
    Chicky Pea is offline aka 31andReady!!! (I'm not 31 anymore...ha ha!)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witchypoo View Post
    She is correct - ALL children of this age need a day sleep. Just because they don't have one doesn't mean it's due to not needing one. She is going to bed earlier because she is exhausted and waking up earlier because her sleeping is all out of whack. You can't force her to sleep, but you can leave her in her cot for the duration of the appropriate time period for a day sleep, regardless of how she protests.
    I agree with you that children at this age should be sleeping. Whether they do or not, or whether they struggle to get through the day without one or not, are more the points here.

    Do I want my child to nap? You bet your a$$ I do. Working 12 hours straight without a break from her is tough. But after months of traumatic days of failed naps, it was starting to ruin our relationship. I did what I had to do for the grater good and follow her lead.

    OurLittleBlessing is correct. She started getting a negative association towards her cot, and if we even went in her room to change her nappy during the day, she would start crying.

    I have tried leaving her in her cot for the same time as a nap, but when my child is hysterical, hyperventilating and attempting to throw themselves out of the cot, I'm not going to force her. I have tried lying in the room with her on her couch and on the floor next to the cot. I've tried changing it to my bed, a mattress on the floor, cushions in the lounge room, but nothing works. She is completely wide awake. Keep in mind, that at night, she goes straight to sleep without an issue, even before she dropped her nap. So it's not an issue with her room or sleeping. It's just sleeping throughout the day.

    I always appreciate people taking the time to comment on posts I've started. But I must admit, I do agree with OurLittleBlessing. Posts suggesting that what I'm doing is somehow detrimental to my child and her development, or that I'm not even trying (I have SO much to say about that, but not even going to go there) really does make me feel like I did for the majority of last year - guilty and total failure. And I really don't appreciate that.

  7. #17
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    If she (and you) are both happy without the day nap, I say skip it!

    I can totally relate to the frustration of trying to force your child to do 'what they're supposed to be doing'

    My DD transitioned to one day sleep at 12 mnths old. Everyone insisted she was too young. We stuck with it anyway and her sleep & behaviour dramatically improved.

    She went from 2 x 1-1.5 hour sleeps (12 hours over night) to 1 x 4 HOUR SLEEP!! (and 11 hours over night).

    So go with your gut I say it worked for us.

    She's now 19.5 months and only sleeping 1-3 hours during the day but her bedtime is getting later and later. I tried skipping her nap over the weekend & she didn't cope well so were still having day sleeps. Considering waking her up in the afternoon now so she's ready for bed before 8pm.

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    sounds like you have found what works for you and DD.

    if she doesnt need a sleep, she doesnt need a sleep.

    children are individuals.

    ideally, a sleep at this age is recommended but i wouldnt bother if its causing such issues every day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    18mths old and no day sleep! Not much you can do about it though if she doesn't want to sleep but they do still need a day sleep at that age and do up until they are 3.5ish.

    My ds ceased wanting his day sleep at about 3yrs but I still make him have quiet lay down time for an hour in the afternoon and he will sleep if he has had a busy morning.
    I dont think that is true at all. My DD dropped her day sleep at 12m old and we talked to a paed & mchn about it & they both said that if a child is tired enough then they will sleep. The main thing they would be concerned about was if she was lacking in hours during the night & barely sleeping (which she never did & slept 10ish hours). She was fine without it and she is fine now. She goes to bed earlier than she used to but thats about it

  10. #20
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    If she wasn't appearing to be tired and struggling with the lack of sleep it wouldn't be a problem, but you have pretty much said that she is. I'm not trying to be mean or judgemental - it's more a concern for her. Not getting adequate sleep is detrimental to a child's health and learning capacity and should really be taken seriously. My first son was a crap day sleeper for his first year and I think it was a big mistake on my part to not get him help sooner. He was so tired that it wasn't funny. I'd just keep trying to get her to at least rest for the scheduled nap period.


 

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