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  1. #11
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    They're not even bringing him up gender neutral, if they have to 'encourage' him to play with dolls, if they were truly being gender neutral they wouldn't have to encourage him to do anything. And it's pretty clear to me, that knowing he's a boy has caused them to push the feminine more so make a point? And what point would that be exactly? That not having an identity makes you grow up to be what?

    I don't get it.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    They're not even bringing him up gender neutral, if they have to 'encourage' him to play with dolls, if they were truly being gender neutral they wouldn't have to encourage him to do anything. And it's pretty clear to me, that knowing he's a boy has caused them to push the feminine more so make a point? And what point would that be exactly? That not having an identity makes you grow up to be what?

    I don't get it.
    That's exactly what I think too.

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  5. #13
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    meh. i think they have done this the wrong way.
    My cousin is probably in the wrong body.
    He wears the girls uniform, he plays with girls toys and is attracted to boys.

    He is 12.

    it has been so damn hard for him and he has no choice over how he feels. he is in the wrong body.

    I think these parents are giving their child more confusion.

    He may be ok now but i hope hope hope they send him to a progressive school and not just the local one and expect him to be himself.

  6. #14
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    What a load of hooey!!

    My son is SUCH a boy, however he's just as happy to play barbie dolls with his little sister. My daughter can be a real little lady, and at other times she refuses to wear dresses and loves to play with cars and trucks and nerf guns and dress up like a pirate with her brother!!

    Letting them be themselves, and make choices, without letting gender determine the way they behave and what they play with, does not require a 5 year cloak of secrecy about what they have in their nappy!!

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  8. #15
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    I grew up with a kid who was gender neutral. Her parents let her do as she pleased with her hair, she chose to grow it long, play with dolls and smash bikes into sandbanks... She only was taught the concept of 'boy & girl' at 6 when she began school.

    This is nothing new, nor has it been done right.

    I personally enjoy gender stereotypes, but don't restrict my kids to them.

    DS has a few dolls he loves and I imagine DD will 'help' daddy fix the car when she's a bit bigger.

  9. #16
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    I have zero problem with it. There have been plenty of studies to show that we treat babies and children differently depending on the assigned gender of their sex.

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    And we probably do, but by confusing a child by making him gender neutral won't change that. What it will do is cause him to perhaps have an identity issue later on in life.

    I'm all for trying to get rid of gender stereotypes (which these parents aren't doing by assuming that tutus are for girls and combat trousers for boys) but this needs to be done slowly over time across society. This isn't done by hiding someone's gender and disguising one's masculinity or feminity. It's by embracing one's gender but teaching kids that they are free to be who they are, no matther what they wear.

    If they are a girl and they choose to wear pink they need to know that they are not bound to only live a life that society has deamed as feminine...and vice versa. I don't understand how hiding one's gender needs to be done.

    Think about transgender people....they say they are one gender trapped in another body....what does that tell you? That a particular gender (girl/boy) is how one identifies themselves and what happens when they find out they really are a girl or boy....they dress the way society deams as masculine or feminine and they act the way society deams as masculin or feminine too. And this tells us that the gender they are must match the outside or they are feel trapped! There is no getting away from this!

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    And I think differences should be celebrated! Isn't that what we try to teach our children?

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  15. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I agree with a gender neutral upbringing, but anyone can achieve that. It's more to do with exposing the child to everything and allowing that child to make choices. I think boys are more affected than girls in that no one questions a female mechanic anymore, but people still look down on male nurses or male cleaners. No one questions a little girl in denim jeans and a blue t shirt playing with trucks, but they still guide boys away from dolls.
    Yeah I agree with this.

    My DS has pink, blue, green, orange, purple clothes. He has pink shoes, because when we went shopping for them I asked him to choose, and he wanted the pink polka dot ones. He has a pink dolls pram and dolls, along with trains and dinosaurs. I let him make the decisions, as opposed to steering him in a general direction. But he knows that he is a boy, and Daddy is a 'boy' and Mummy is a 'girl'.

    So, I wholeheartedly agree that you can raise a child with a gender neutral upbringing, without resorting to hiding their gender. I think hiding the gender is a bit weird, and would possibly create some confusion for the child.
    Last edited by Witwicky; 21-01-2012 at 21:34.

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  17. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    They're not even bringing him up gender neutral, if they have to 'encourage' him to play with dolls, if they were truly being gender neutral they wouldn't have to encourage him to do anything. And it's pretty clear to me, that knowing he's a boy has caused them to push the feminine more so make a point? And what point would that be exactly? That not having an identity makes you grow up to be what?

    I don't get it.
    I was thinking this as well, re: the dolls.

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