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  1. #1
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    Default What age for behavioural problems? 2?

    My DS is impossible to discipline - and I mean impossible. We have tried EVERYTHING anyone can suggest, seriously.

    He pushes and hits other chidren, he kicks, he shoves, he hits with objects, he throws sand and toys, he tackles, he sits on other children. He does it regardless of the reaction.

    He just hit me in the face with a hard toy tractor and hurt my eyeball and eyelide. He shouts NO at me. He is currently locked in his room bashing on the door screaming but I just smacked him and pretty much dragged him in there by one arm in the first place because I lost it and I just don't know what to do anymore.

    I have spoken to our GP and he said "oh if he is still doing it by 3 come back and we'll see about it then, its normal". Sorry but its NOT normal.

    GRRR. I'm so angry with him.

  2. #2
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    Gosh I just read that back and it sounds terrible. I hate that I smacked him. He is out of his room now he was in there for 5 minutes. When I opened the door and told him that he really hurt mummies face when he hit me with the toy he shouted NO at me and threw himself angrily on his bed.

    I hate that I lost it, it takes a lot to push me that far but all day yesterday he hit other children who had come over to play and kicked his baby sister in the face, threw a toy at her this morning, hit her etc etc.

    God he's just had a particularly bad few days in a row.

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    From 2.5 to 3, my son became violent to other children, which ended in him being kicked out of fdc. he would also hit us, throw sand in the playground at kids etc.

    He's 3y, 4m now and the violence stopped. It also improved before that when the amt of cc decreased. That seemed to be making him anxious nd angry. He's back in cc now in a larger group and is fine.

    Talk to the child health ppl. In qld, they have an early intervention social worker and parenting courses. They might have something to help.

    They are really hard times, but hopefully there is light at the end as there was for us.

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    breakthemould  (21-01-2012)

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    I found even time out was ineffective as he would trash the room or urinate to circumvent it.

    They don't tell you this in the parenting courses! So frustrating.

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    In the ACT there is the family wellness and behaviour clinics that are adjoined to the MACH nurse service and run out of the family and child clinics. I took DS there when he was 18 months because he was starting to get violent with us and other kids as well as being quite defiant. We met with a child psychologist and MACH nurse. They were great and gave us some tips on managing the behaviour. I also got some literature to read and for me to give his daycare so we could be consistent. He's now 26 months and such a gentler child and known as the empathetic child in his daycare room. He is still strong willed and says no or go away a lot but he is not really violent or rough anymore.

    I'd talk to your local MACH nurse and ask for a referral (as I'm sure QLD would have a similar service).

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    breakthemould  (21-01-2012)

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    Thanks MsMummy. My DS sounds similar, he is also in FDC and his carer and I have also discussed his future there (she has had to call me one day recently to pick him early as he was being too violent to the other child there that day). He is otherwise happy at daycare and his carer says he is not generally as rough as I thought he would be considering he is with the other children all day there. Every time he is around other children at a playdate etc he spends almost the whole time being told off, put in timeout, removed from play equipment etc for being rough.

    Its so tough isn't it. I'm glad to hear your DS grew out of it, I didn't believe the GP when he said it because DS has been like this since he was 18 months old. I hope he is like your son and grows out of it soon.

    I am thinking of doing the Triple P parenting course.

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    Thanks Davally, I will go to our local Community Centre and see if there is some help available through them

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    What end of 2 is he?

    I think part of the issue was that he was the oldest child in fdc, and he could be a bully.

    But going into the centre, all the kids were same or older.

    What is his language like? My son's speech came good around the time the violence stopped. Maybe partly frustration?

    Does he have any other delayed development etc? I have realised my son is an introvert and fearful of other children, and some of the aggression was him using the only tools he had to keep other kids away.

    Good luck with child health centre. I found it a good opportunity to offload, and then they arranged a social worker for a home visit, but his violent behaviour changed before she had to come out.

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    He was 2 in August. His language is slightly delayed (have seen a SP and she said it is delayed but not too bad and if not much improvement in 6 months to start regular appointments with her). However, his speech doesn't *seem* to have much to do with his aggression, his aggression has no obvious trigger, there doesn't need to be an altercation to start it, he will just walk up quite happily and whack someone with no rage or anger to start it or during it. He kind of just does it for a reaction (from the child and adults and me), or to be annoying, or simply because he feels like it.

    He has no other delays, is quite clever with puzzles and is extremely co-ordinated and sporty (well above average with fine and gross motor skills).

    He is not shy or anxious, has no seperation issues etc.

    Hope the MCHN can help!

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    I went through it with my son too. I did the Triple P course just as he turned 3. He started the 'terrible 2's' really early and was violent and aggressive and a nightmare for what seemed like forever. He threw wild tantrums and would hit and scratch me whenever things didn't go his way. He was particularly bad in playgrounds and play centres where he had to share. Getting off swings was too hard in the end so we stopped going. By 3.5 he had outgrown the violence and by 4 the wild tantrums. He has just turned 5 and is still very hot headed and explosive but NOTHING like he used to be. Anyhow, although I don't think Triple P necessarily helped him or me - it did make feel empowered a little and not so hopeless about it all. They are big on time out and in my case my boy would trash his room and pee every time - so we had to modify things to work for us!

    I went to a behavioural paediatrician and they did a thorough assessment and said he had good language skills and was a smart little boy and just very strong willed. They also said the qualities that find difficult now will probably end up being the qualities in him I admire when he's older i.e. determination, strong willed. My husband used to remind me of that every time I lost it.

    I feel for you - I know exactly what you're going through. There were so many things I didn't do for fear of him losing it. I was always on tenterhooks. We avoided parties, swings, shopping centres etc. I have dragged him to his room endless times. Hang in there. Try and get to Triple P and choose your battles.


 

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