Dear DS
When you were born you were so placid, you didn't cry when you entered into the world you looked all around you, you did the breast crawl and fed for over an hour, you slept well until you were a few weeks old then you started to cat nap during the day but we sorted that out, you were always a good sleeper of a night.
When you were 6mths old your night sleeping started to be a problem, waking several times a night and not being able to self settle anymore, your nose began to constantly run and you pull at your ears a lot, so I took you to the doctors (7 times in 3mths) on our last visit I gave the doctor a recording of the sounds you make when you are sleeping (bad snoring) the silent part when you had stopped breathing, finally he listened to me and sent you for an xray right away. Enlarged adenoids the results say so we are waiting on our visit to the ENT but that's not till late February when you will be 11 1/2 mths old.
The last few months have been extra hard, you have fallen out of self settling all together, you scream a distressed scream when I put you in your cot awake, you are still sleeping with your arms in your ergo cocoon I have attempted to wean you off of that but mummy needs sleep too. Your nose is now constantly blocked and you struggle to drink your bottle (also weaned slowly between 6 and 8mths, still gets a BF over night) but you always manage to drink it all, you absolutely love your milk and food. In the last 3 weeks you have got 3 teeth giving you a grand total of 4 teeth (lol) you are walking when you push your trolley, trying to stand by yourself so you are constantly on the go. Your still are a placid little soul, you will go to anyone, laugh a lot and you are very cheeky, you think it's very funny when mummy says NO, I'm so proud to be your mother.
You love spending time with your Dad and to be honest I think he loves it even more, your Daddy loves it on weekends when you cuddle up to fall asleep on him while watching your favorite show together (one of the issues that has lead to no self settling) or Daddy taking you for a ride on your bike and you laugh so hard when you play rough and tumbles.

Last night was one of the roughest nights, you were disturbed by the dog just as you were being settled for the night so you though it was play time, after an hour of struggling to get you back to sleep I relented and let you get down and play, you finally settled at 12am this morning, you were then back up at 1:10, 2:40, 3:20 and the you finally woke at 9:40 this morning although you did cry out 4 more times between 3:20 and 9:40. At 3:20 this morning when i gave you a cuddle you stopped breathing, i started counting as soon as i realized you had stopped breathing, i counted slowly 1,2,3 and when i go to 13 i stated tapping you and you woke crying.

I'm exhausted honey mummy now needs some non disturbed sleep. I don't know how I can help anymore and I'm left wondering, is it your nose? Am I doing the wrong things? Is there something else going on? Is it sleep apnea? is it because you'd prefer to be BF and missing it?

I have tried all the techniques they gave us at sleep school when you were younger (we are going again in two weeks, if that doesn't work we are going for a residential stay) I have tried CC (that resulted in us both crying for a long while after) and I have tried the camping out method. I have read 'save our sleep' and used these techniques too, what more can I do? I wish we could get into the ENT earlier, I have asked to go on a cancellation list but they have said it's a rarity they have cancellations, I'm now wanting a sleep assessment cause then I'll know if it's what your daddy and I are doing that's causing the problems or is it that you have sleep apnea.

I love you so so much and want the best for you.