I WILL be teaching my sons that no means no, and lack of no is NOT consent, just as I will teach my daughters that they may be able to minimise their risk of something happening by taking precautions.
The bolded part- I guess thats the thing right there, I am NOT telling anyone else what they should do and blaming people for their rape, I am speaking for MYSELF and I will not apologise for that.
I'd love to bring my kids up suggesting they don't need to minimise risk because all responsibility lies with the perpetrator, but like I said before- once its done, its done. I never want my kids to have to go through that because I have the ideal that all the responsibility for THEIR or MY safety lies with someone else. I just don't trust other people with my safety sadly.
I dunno, its very sad that this is how it is, but realistically, this is it. We cannot, and I do not, trust people not to hurt me and my children and will do everything in my power to try and protect them. I recognise that I can't control how other people behave, but I can try my hardest to keep myself and my kids away from situations that I deem 'high risk'.