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  1. #1
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    Angry **Extreme Trigger Topic** 'Avoiding being raped

    I didnt want to hijack the other thread, BUT wanted to address one part of a post

    Not leaving your drink alone or accepting drinks from stragers reduces the risk of having your drink spiked, and the posibility of some one taking advantage of that and sleeping with you when you do not have teh capacity to consent. Not walking drunk down the dark alley by your self reduces the risk of some taking advantage of you and raping you. Not going home drunk with a bunch of guys reduces the risk of of being in a situation that you dont feel you can say no to. I was not saying that if you do these things you will be raped. But they do increase the risk. Which is why these types of rapes are the small percentages of reported rapes. How many of those sorts of rapes do you think we would have if women didnt pretect them selves?
    This is the start of victim blaming - *IF* a person does walk down an alley, or through a park after dark, or does leave their drink alone in a pub IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT IF THEY GET RAPED.

    It is NOT illegal to walk through a prk, it is not illegal to leave your drink for a moment or even a whole hour - but it IS ILLEGAL TO RAPE.

    I'd like to see more effort in teaching rapists to not rape, in teaching people to repsect one another rather than subliminal victim blaming in the guise of advice

    This is the BEST advice I've ever seen to avoid rapes happening:

    DONT RAPE

    Here's a few other tips



    Fifty Ways Prevent Yourself from Being a Rapist:



    1. Do not think you have the right to rape a woman.



    2. Do not rape a woman. Do not rape a man.



    3. Learn what rape is.



    4. Rape is forcing someone to have sex with you when they do not want to.



    5. Most rapes are committed by men who know the women they are raping. If the woman you are forcing to have sex with you happens to be your girlfriend, your neighbor, your cousin, your sister, or your wife, it is still RAPE.



    6. When someone says no to you, that means you have no right to force yourself on them.



    7. When someone pushes you away, or otherwise inclinates, verbally or with physical movement that they do not want to have sex with you, and you force yourself on them, that is rape.



    8. If you see a woman in a parking lot, don't rape her.



    9. If you see a woman walking alone at night, don't rape her.



    10. If you see a woman in a short skirt, don't rape her.



    11, If you see a woman with long hair, don't rape her.



    12. If you see a woman walking down a dark street at 4 AM, naked, don't rape her.



    13. If you see a woman who is not carrying pepper spray for self protection, does not know karate, does not have a gun, and is not even holding an umbrella to ward you off, still don't rape her.



    14. If you see a woman who has a sign on her head that says "I Want Sex", you don't have the right to force sex upon her.



    15. If you're at a party, and a girl is drunk, and she wants you to kiss her and touch her but then she wants you stop, STOP.



    16. If you're on a date with someone and they want to go so far, but then stop, you STOP. If you don't stop, it is called rape.



    17. Rape is a crime, whether you go to prison for it or not, whether it is reported or not, whether you're convicted, or whether anyone believes the woman you rape, or whether you get a goddamn medal of honor for all the rapes you got away with committing, IT'S A CRIME and it's a crime against humanity, which has more to do with your conscience and morals and the rights of women to live as human beings on this planet without having to be in fear their bodies will be violated, than it laws and prison sentences. If you are a rapist, you have violated a person's right to simply live. News Flash - you do not have the right to do that. Neither does any other man or woman you know.



    18. Rape is about power. It is not about sex. Do something else with your misogyny than rape a woman. Try, say, reading a book. Or committing suicide to rid you from the planet so we will have one less rapist walking around.



    20. Men are the people who can stop rape. Not women. For proof of this fact, look at statistics on rape for a second. It happens every minute of every day, and it is usually not ever reported so statistics on it are always underestimates. Women have been trying to prevent themselves from being raped for a few centuries. IT HASN'T WORKED YET.



    21. Rapists destroy lives in a way that murderers do not. If you rape a person, you are as inhumane as a murderer.



    22. Before you decide to rape someone, go to visit an emergency room one night, and ask the nurse on duty at the triage, how many raped women have been there that evening. Then ask about the rape kits they did on the women, the DNA evidence they collected. Then spend a few years of your life talking with women who were raped and see how it has affected them every single day of their lives. You might reconsider rape after that, if you're actually human. If you're not human, please kill yourself before you rape someone.



    23. Note that you are living in a patriarchal society which is the only reason why committing rape will occur to you as something you have a right to do in the first place. Note that, despite this fact, you STILL DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO RAPE ANYONE EVER.



    24. Know that a few million human beings on this planet right now want you dead, if you're a rapist, because we're sick and tired of you walking around, and our self protectoin mechainsms haven't worked, and you're not about to be a real popular guy if anyone finds out you are a rapist, unless, you are hanging around other rapists.


    Last edited by WorkingClassMum; 18-01-2012 at 18:55.

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  3. #2
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    25. Know that whether anyone ever finds out you committed a rape or not, you are still a replusive, weak, pathetic, disgusting, grotesque, inhumane, repulsive, worthless, twisted individual if you rape someone, and this fact will remain true, and you will remain guilty forever, whether she tells anybody or not. And you can be the one to live with that; if you have a conscience.



    26. If you don't have a conscience, go murder yourself instead of raping a woman.



    27. Read Ms. Magazine instead of Playboy



    28. Stay away from pornography. Most rapists love it. That should be a danger sign.



    29. Cut your hands off. You won't be able to use them. That will help matters.



    30. Cut your penis off. Or ask me to do it for you; I'll be happy to, if you're considering committing a rape.



    31. Stay away from women.



    32. Stay away from little girls.



    33. Stay away from boys.



    34. Stay away from the human race.



    35. You are not the superior sex, never will be, never were, never are. Women are equal to you, and sometimes women will be smarter than you. This is called life. Deal with it.



    36. Sometimes women will not like you. That is our right. See above.



    37. Sometimes women will rebuff your advances. In other words, we don't always want to have sex with you. Note, no one has any duty to have sex with anyone, ever. You are no exception.



    38. Sometimes women will think you are stupid, will make fun of you, will not treat you well, will fire you from a job, will laugh at you, will refuse to go out with you. Just like men can do these things, so can women. This does not mean you have a right to commit rape.



    39. If a woman has sex with you one day and doesn't want to have sex with you the next, that is her right. You do not have the right to rape her.



    40. If a woman has sex with you and one hour later does not want to have sex with you again, that is her right. You do not have the right to rape her.



    41. If a woman has sex all the time, with lots of men, and you think she is a **** for it, you still don't have the right to rape her. Women have the right to have sex with who they choose, when they choose, wherever they choose if it is consentual. Just like men.



    42. No woman has ever, will ever or does ever ASK to be raped. No woman LIKES being raped. No woman INVITES you to rape her. No woman has EVER ASKED FOR IT. Try to remember that.



    43. You don't have a right to rape your wife, your daughter, your granddaughter, your best friend, your girlfriend, a girl you met at the grocery store, your boss, your coworker, your student, your professor, your niece, your next door neighbor, a woman you do not know, or ANYONE ELSE. Ever. Period. End of Story.



    44. Do not forward around emails to people telling them what women should do to prevent themselves from being raped. Women have never, and will never be able to stop the phenomena of rape, even as women do a good job of trying to, because we are not the ones with penises. Very simple. You are the only person who can prevent you from raping me or any other woman. You. Not me. You. Not any woman. You. You must stop you from being a rapist. It is YOUR job. Take responsibility for it for a change. I'm tired of giving out the 1-800-656-HOPE number to women who have been raped. I WANT TO GIVE OUT A HOTLINE TO YOU. 1-800-STOP IT NOW

    But that hotline does not exist.



    45. Go build a crisis center to stop yourself and every other man you know from becoming a rapist. Get funding for it, which will require a lot of work on a daily basis. Hire counselors. Hold group therapy and individual therapy sessions. Try, again, to get funding for it because it will be difficult to do so. Women have been doing this for decades. They're called rape crisis centers and we have too many of them. They should not have to exist at all.



    46. When you converse with your male friends, be sure to warn them to NOT RAPE ANYONE if they are going out late at night, or if they are going out with a new girl, or if they are doing anything at all where rape might be an issue of concern. Women do this all the time, warning their friends to be careful, warning their daughters, their sisters, their mothers to be careful, to watch out, to lock their doors, to keep their doors locked, to carry pepper spray. We have all sorts of advice we give each other based on our very rational fear of rape. Why don't you try giving every man you now advice on how to prevent rape?



    47. If you know someone who is a rapist, do something about it. Do not ignore, tolerate, pretend you don't know or don't care, or congratulate him. DO SOMETHING about it, such as, telling him he is the scum of the earth, reporting him to the police, beating him up, or put up a billboard with his picture, his name and the word Rapist in bright red letters on his front lawn.



    48. If you're a rapist, go to therapy for a few years, perhaps the rest of your life, spend some time in a psychiatric hospital, perhaps dozens of times, perhaps years, and try to figure out how to live with yourself and what you did, which is exactly what many women who are raped by people such as you must do.



    49. Donate money to RAINN, since you haven't succeeded in stopping rape from happening yet, so we still need these sexual assault centers, and maybe you should try being the person who donates money to them, rather than the people who were raped. http://www.rainn.org 1-800-656-HOPE. Or donate money to your local sexual assault crisis center. Or donate money to one of the women you know who has been raped so she can go to therapy, because statistically, there is little chance that you do not know several rape "survivors".


    50. SEND THIS TO EVERY MAN YOU KNOW. And when you get the next email telling every woman on the planet what to do to prevent herself from being raped, and it says, "forward it to every woman you know", don't do it. For an example, see the message below and consider how ridiculous it is that women should have to live in a world where we write, read, and send each other these kind of messages, and know that it is not fair, and wonder for a minute, why you never got a message like this before addressed to men.

    Now, some of the points in this are quite extreme - but I feel that people telling woman how to avoid rape is wrong unless we also tell rapists how to avoid raping

    to be continued

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  5. #3
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    and here's some other interesting stuff IF you feel the need to only teach women how to avoid being attacked and raped

    A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on

    what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:



    The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.

    They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.



    The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.



    They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.



    The time of day men are most likely to attack and a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.



    The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.



    The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.



    Only 2% said they carried weapons because carries a 3-5 year sentence but with a weapon is 15-20 years.



    If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.



    These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.



    Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or w! ith you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.


    If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
    http://womensstudies.homestead.com/tipsformen.html


    Off to have a Bex and lie down

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    I love love LOVE that Don't Rape List. Particularly these:

    18. Rape is about power. It is not about sex. Do something else with your misogyny than rape a woman. Try, say, reading a book. Or committing suicide to rid you from the planet so we will have one less rapist walking around.

    22. Before you decide to rape someone, go to visit an emergency room one night, and ask the nurse on duty at the triage, how many raped women have been there that evening. Then ask about the rape kits they did on the women, the DNA evidence they collected. Then spend a few years of your life talking with women who were raped and see how it has affected them every single day of their lives. You might reconsider rape after that, if you're actually human. If you're not human, please kill yourself before you rape someone.

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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Probably very similar:

    10 tips to stop rape - poster

    http://www.memecenter.com/fun/96229/...s-to-stop-rape
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 18-01-2012 at 18:54.

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    I must say though I do NOT advocate suicide as an answer, but would plea that anyone who feels the urge to rape to please get some help and do not hurt and innocent person

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingClassMum View Post
    I must say though I do NOT advocate suicide as an answer
    I do In fact I'd be delighted if the idiot who hurt me made the world just that little bit more awesome by ridding the planet of himself.

    Plus I'd much rather see any rapist or rapist-to-be take their own life rather than ruining several other lives. Some people just can't be helped - they're the ones I'm talking about.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkzy View Post
    I do In fact I'd be delighted if the idiot who hurt me made the world just that little bit more awesome by ridding the planet of himself.

    Plus I'd much rather see any rapist or rapist-to-be take their own life rather than ruining several other lives. Some people just can't be helped - they're the ones I'm talking about.

    Yep if someone has to die let it be them

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    Quote Originally Posted by ohdear View Post
    Yep if someone has to die let it be them
    Oh hell yes.

    Anyone here ever looked at the suicide rates/statistics (and attempted suicide rates) of rape victims? (in fact I can be included in those statistics myself). The statistics are alarmingly high.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkzy View Post
    I do In fact I'd be delighted if the idiot who hurt me made the world just that little bit more awesome by ridding the planet of himself.

    Plus I'd much rather see any rapist or rapist-to-be take their own life rather than ruining several other lives. Some people just can't be helped - they're the ones I'm talking about.
    I thought that today, too. If my dd's father took himself out, we could live happier lives. He hurt lots of women and children. The world would be better if he stopped creating single mothers.

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