What did you tell work - advice please!

[Rocky27]

Hi ladies,

Once I found out that I had a 'missed' m/c & needed a d&c I took time off work.

All up its been about a week & I go back tomorrow. DH had let them know I was sick & had been in Hospital.

I'm really worried about the 20 questions I'm going to get when I go back tomorrow & I know people will ask what was wrong (as there is nothing visible like a broken leg).

I'm worried I'm going to get upset if I try & explain it & don't want to make others uncomfortable around me (quite a few pregnant people in the office) but I don't really want to lie either.

I was just wondering for those who had taken time off work when you had a m/c, how did you deal with all the questions when you got back & what did you tell them?

Thanks heaps for any advice!

[Sparker]

Hey, I had a similar situation a few years back and I told work that I had to go in for some exploratory work due to some female issues.

I just left it at that.

They were really respectful and didn't ask any more questions.

Take it easy and don't feel you have to tell anyone anything.

Sending you a huge hug and sorry to hear about your loss x

[Cherished]

I am very sorry for your loss Rocky27

I have never needed a d&c with any of my losses, but after my first loss I emailed my boss why I needed time off and asked for them to keep it confidential, my partner spoke to my closest work mates and explained what happened and asked them to keep it confidential aswell, just so I had some support at work. Surprisingly there was only one person who asked the 20 questions (nosey parker) so I just said I had some women issues that needed to be checked out - Not too many people want to question that.

With my second loss I just said I had personal circumstances that needed to be attended to. And no one questioned it at all.

And with the others I just continued working with some strong pain killers, no one knew anything.

I am sorry for your loss, If you aren't ready or don't want to tell any one then don't. You don't have to say anything if you dont want to. Goodluck for your first day back

[Rocky27]

Hey there, thanks heaps for the replies!

I like the idea of maybe e-mailing the boss/supervisor & letting them know so they are aware of what happened & maybe understand if I'm not being my normal happy self. I would def want them to keep it private though & not be the subject of office gossip. I def don't want everyone knowing though.

It's so hard to know what to do!

Cherished, there always has to be one nosy person that wants to question everything at work! I might just say 'women issues' like you said, hopefully no one will want to question that Thanks heaps girls for the replies. It's interesting to see what others did & know if it worked or not.

[Rocky27]

- accidentally entered this msg in error

[Rinobiscuit]

I told everyone in my office (it is quite small) but that made it hard when I had to come back. No one pressed me for details but if anyone came to give me a hug etc. i would just start bawling my eyes out. I was in two minds, I dont think misscarriage should be taboo and not talked about but it was way too early for me to talk about it after 1 week.

If it ever happened again I would only tell my closest work colleague and tell the others that I had "had a routine procedure that needed to be addressed pretty quickly".

I hope it all goes ok tomorrow xo