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  1. #61
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    I'm a single mum, but it's by choice and I'm so proud of myself for being able to raise my children on my own terms, to be an independent woman and mother. But life is hard because..

    * My 6yr old has Asperger's and ADHD
    * My 3mth old has Hirschsprung's, had major surgery at 2wks of age and has been readmitted for various illnesses 4 times already
    * I have Asperger's myself and despite being desperately lonely (I have literally no friends) I find it really hard to connect with people
    * We live from pay to pay and while I'd love to study and get back into the workforce, I'm limited because my son isn't able to attend full-time school
    * While I live nearby to my family, they don't help me at all - and I'm oftentimes left feeling resentful because my son is 'too hard' to care for in their view. FFS, they don't even want to spend time with my children and I! It cuts deep.

    I don't begrudge my situation, I have 2 beautiful children who I love and adore despite their medical challenges, we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. It just wears me down on occasion.

    I do have plans to move back to my home state of Tasmania (currently living in Qld) to be closer to my sister/niece/nephew, and to get back in touch with some friends from my previous 'child-free' life. It may not be 'easier' if/when I move back, grass being greener and all that, but it sure as hell can't be any worse can it

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    Theboys&me  (18-01-2012)

  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenrose View Post
    Me too. All these people around me just got into Uni or are studying. I'm never going to be anyone. I'm just not smart enough. Nurses, midwives, phycologists, lawyers, journalists. I'm going to be a mum. I know that's a good thing but I just want to be someone.
    Again not wishing to highjack but I wanted to respond. In my work I meet people all the time who are great in their line of work. Politicians, doctors, nurses, psychologists, top salespeople, statisticians etc but boy they have made some errors in relationships, parenting and have lacked the most basic social skills. I'm not saying you can be anything you want, cause you can't. What you can do is find your passion, something you're good at and go for it. For some people their greatest success will be with raising happy adjusted kids. That is 'being someone'. For others the measure of success is balancing parenthood and having a meaningful career. I have met some very selfish people with amazing careers but I wouldn't for one minute want to be like them. If your greatest success comes from being a mum, you hold your head high. A lot of time, energy and sacrifice goes into that job and these things alone make you an important someone- just ask your kids when they are old enough to understand.

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    jenrose  (18-01-2012),MissMuppet  (20-01-2012)

  5. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bountiful View Post
    I'm a single mum, but it's by choice and I'm so proud of myself for being able to raise my children on my own terms, to be an independent woman and mother. But life is hard because..

    * My 6yr old has Asperger's and ADHD
    * My 3mth old has Hirschsprung's, had major surgery at 2wks of age and has been readmitted for various illnesses 4 times already
    * I have Asperger's myself and despite being desperately lonely (I have literally no friends) I find it really hard to connect with people
    * We live from pay to pay and while I'd love to study and get back into the workforce, I'm limited because my son isn't able to attend full-time school
    * While I live nearby to my family, they don't help me at all - and I'm oftentimes left feeling resentful because my son is 'too hard' to care for in their view. FFS, they don't even want to spend time with my children and I! It cuts deep.

    I don't begrudge my situation, I have 2 beautiful children who I love and adore despite their medical challenges, we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. It just wears me down on occasion.

    I do have plans to move back to my home state of Tasmania (currently living in Qld) to be closer to my sister/niece/nephew, and to get back in touch with some friends from my previous 'child-free' life. It may not be 'easier' if/when I move back, grass being greener and all that, but it sure as hell can't be any worse can it
    You sound like a wonderful mummy

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    Bountiful  (20-01-2012)

  7. #64
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    Cubs is offline Can't wait to meet you baby!
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    I think you are all absolutely amazing and inspiring.

  8. #65
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    I probably have it pretty good compared to a lot of people... but the issues that cause me to be a little frazzled at times -

    *No family support - my parents live 3 hours away and DH's parents are in the UK. I have no brothers or sisters, and my only BIL lives in Hong Kong. Most of my good friends either live on the other side of Melbourne.. or in country Victoria.

    *Huge financial pressures - DH recently had to change jobs which required a pay decrease. We now can't cover all our bills and are now trying to refinance.

    *Im a SAHM during the weekdays but work night shifts in ICU on the weekends... and the shift work really knocks me around physically as I get very little sleep (I only work nights because it pays more). It sucks that DH works Mon-Fri and I work weekends, but it's the only way we can do it because we'd have to pay too much for childcare otherwise. We don't get much family time together.

  9. #66
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    I have a fairly okay life

    Things I'm not happy with:
    That I can't study full time and not have to also work full time. It's hard fitting everything in!
    That my text books are so darn expensive! $350 for one study period!
    That every job requires experience but how can you get experience without someone giving you a go when you have no experience :-(
    That my ex was out of my life forever. Her and her family are intent on making my life hell for as long as they can
    That I wasn't so shy and could make friends easier. I don't have a lot of friends. I don't want a million, just a couple
    That all the expenses would stop piling up. I know it's my choice to study and have those expenses but geez, give me a break, I can't work any more hours!
    That my mum was healthy. She has an unknown heart condition and has heart attacks almost everyday and the doctors can't fix it cos they don't know what is wrong. She lives 5 hours away and I never get to see her :-(

    Ah feels a bit better
    Last edited by KnockKnockPenny; 18-01-2012 at 23:08.

  10. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Very true words.

    Mine is.. My whole life has been about career and academic/ business success, but I am now a SAHM. I love spending time with DD, and we have made the choice to not put her in daycare, but because I am not at work I struggle with feelings of self-worth/ defensiveness on a regular basis.

    Might not sound like much of an obstacle at all to some, but it is for me.
    Exactly this!!! This is what im trying to over come right now

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  11. #68
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    the hardest things about my life

    *no matter how hard we tried, me and my kids father just couldnt seem to make things work i guess we just werent meant to be.

    *my 2 year old son has been on his death bed twice now and it will most likely reoccur, and drs dont know why, still no diagnoses, he goes to sleep fine at night and iis just a mess in the morning, putting to sleep everynight is scary because i wonder if he is going to wake up ok.

    *ive never get any help or any form of a break, even though my mum has always lived close by and i actually am living with her atm, in the whole 2 years of being a mum i have not spent one night away from my children, and i do love them to bits but mummies need breaks too..


    * i am currently at risk of becoming homeless, as circumstances have it i can not stay with my mum for too much longer and no realestate will take us..

    in saying all of that, i am extremly grateful for my two wonderful children, they make everyday easier to get through.

  12. #69
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    because i just freaking suck, no other reason

    i have no close friends because i suck at making friends (in turn ds has no friends either)

    i am failing miserably as a parent.

    i am failing miserably at my house up keep,

    i failed miserably on the family thing and thus have been a single mummy since ds was 8 months old

    yeah i basically just suck at pretty much everything i attempt

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  13. #70
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    The hardest thing for me, is watching my two boys struggle.

    For needing to spend more time on therapy work or taking them to therapy, than spending time being kids and having fun and being a regular family.

    That all of their therapy work and responsibility is soley on me. Im the special needs parent, dh is not. I go to all the appointments, i do all the work, i go to meetings at the school, i make sure they survive, i take care of everything, as well as trying to take care of myself, and i feel alone most of the time.


 

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