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  1. #31
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    Hrmm.. A thread for me to have a whinge on, right up my alley.

    It's hard for me because I'm socially awkward, I grew up in an odd environment which makes it hard for me to know how to act 'normally' in social situations and I end up being too shy or too overbearing. I was married at 18 to get away from home, divorced my controlling husband at 21 and became pregnant to a man who is emotionally abusive by 22. These things make me feel like a used rag even now that I'm married to a gentle man.

    My inlaws treat me as if I have an iq of a goldfish. We ask for support as I'm going through a difficult pregnancy, and get none. My eldest DD has Aspergers and is currently going through puberty. DH also shows signs of Aspergers and having to take on the roll of being the 'adult' in our relationship is tiring. I'm intellectually bored and wanting to do more with my life, but find myself stuck in the housewife role I was primed for from an early age. Our finances are rubbish.

    Like a lot of us here, I'm lonely.
    Last edited by MissPoss; 18-01-2012 at 10:25.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrstuilawa View Post
    I think this is a great thread choice.
    i'm not a mum (yet) but i'd like to contribute anyway so i hope this doesnt rub anyone up the wrong way.
    What makes my life hard?
    I have no family where i live. I am in ipswich, my dad is in mackay and my mum and twin sister are in sydney. I have literally 2 friends in QLD and neither of them live particularly close to me so it's hard to have support around when i've needed it.
    My husband has an acquired brain injury after being brutally attacked december 2010. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that i will never have my old (pre injury) husband back.
    Even though my husband was in australia for nearly 6 years and here legally the whole time immigration sent him back to fiji in october. He can't receive the help he needs for his ABI in Fiji.
    But i have also found ways to cope with these situations. i try to find a positive in every negative. i might not have my family physically with me, but i talk to my mum every single day and my sister and i email and text at least 20 times a day. My husband might not be the same husband i had before but he's still mine and i am grateful to have someone who loves me and cares about me as much as he does, even if he doesnt always show it (controlling emotions can be quite hard for someone with an ABI). And, while it sucks that he's had to go back to fiji, i am now taking a big step and have resigned from my job to join him in fiji for 6 months!
    Life can be unbearable sometimes, for all of us, but i challenge myself to find a positive with every situation i am struggling to deal with. it might not work for everyone, but it has helped me a lot.
    Lastly sometimes all it takes to feel better is a massive cry! after i've had a big cry i often find myself thinking "if only i'd done that a month ago!"
    It's good to see there are such strong woman and mothers out there, and i hope i can be as strong a person when i become a mother myself
    wow that is tough, did he receive any victims compensation to help out?

  3. #33
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    I don't think I have one massive obstacle, just a bunch of stuff that add up and make life harder.

    Falling pregnant at 18 and becomming a mother at 19 has made life harder than it needed to be.

    Having DD's father abandon her and support her in no way at all has made life financially more difficult, and it sometimes makes things harder emotionally too - like when DD asks about him, why he abandoned her, etc etc. It also makes me quite angry at times, and ruins my mood for a week. I'd also quite like time off now and again, the kind that he could offer by taking her... but yeah, doesn't happen when flees the country for a tramp (she seriously is a horrible person... I'd have no issues with her if she was nice).

    Anxiety disorder and body image issues. The anxiety makes me find things overwhelmingly difficult - I had to escape from picking a new pair of glasses that other day because I was about to have a panic attack over it. I do this often - freak out and abandon situations or else risk looking like a right idiot in front of someone... (I went back and chose after I had calmed down). My body occupies my mind too... I wish this weren't the case.

    Being repartnered is hard too - especially when his family (except FIL) are against "step" relatives and do not embrace DD and I as a part of the family. MIL is even angry at me at the moment because apparently I'm "using" DP because he got me a car. She's ignoring me because of it. I'm not sure why I'd spend 4 years with someone on hte off chance he'd buy me an inexpensive car though... lol. I'd be pretty pathetic excuse for a gold-digger if that was the case. DD is treated as lesser too. It sucks. God save me if I ever have children with DP.

    The fact that I don't drive doesn't help either and makes everything WAY harder. I have my test at 1.55 today though (Qld time!) so hopefully I pass! YAY!

    The fact that I suck with making friends... or that when I make friends, it's with people I don't really click with and would never look to for support... and my mother is supportive, but more in the helpful way, not in hte advice way... and she lives too far away to see regularly anyway.

    DP is FIFO. Means I spend most days and nights alone. It's weird.

    I am fat. I have been fatter, but I'm still fat. That stops me from doing a billion things. The more I lose, the more I feel more free to be myself - like I don't have to be as invisible anymore because I'm not in plus-sizes anymore... that's how it feels for me anyway.

    I dunno, just a bunch of smaller stuff that adds up to a lot of hassle really.

  4. #34
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    Mine is that my parents don't seem to care about me or my family. When it was just me, I could handle it - I've had many years of practice! But it hurts a LOT that DS won't have loving grandparents in his life like I did. I mean the IL's are great, but it's just not the same, and I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with their complete and utter lack of interest.

    It's also hard as while I do have some great Mummy friends here, most of my closest friends live hours away, or on the other side of the country and I miss them.

  5. #35
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    For me, its pressure from family.
    Im the f**kup of the family. My brother graduated high school, got a job, worked his way up and still works for the same company with a company car, fuel card, owns his own home (which I rent), lives in a flash house in the city and has always had his finances in check, all the while being a party boy and having soo much fun.
    Me.....I left school 2 months before the end of yr 11, got a job, met a boy, moved out of home at 15yrs old........got pregnant at 19, split up with the dad and have bounced from rental to rental ever since. Ive had to borrow money (always paid back) from mum, dad and my brother and they always seem to have to help me out. So yeah.... Im the f**k up and feel the pressure to be better and do better 'just like my brother'.
    They dont seem to understand that things are made more complicated because I have an anxiety and panic disorder and find it difficult to go out in public. They dont believe it...we're a very 'suck it up and keep moving' kind of family....'its all a state of mind'...'get over it'. Whilst I believe those things, saying is easier than doing.

    I took a HUGE step this year and enrolled to do my Cert III in Childrens Services next month in a classroom environment rather than at home......sooo difficult for me....my mum took this news by being annoyed that I will need to put DS in after school care 2 days a week (I offered to pay her to watch him but she doesnt seem interested), my brother seems proud....but my dad see's it as a way of me dodging working. He see's it as me spending more money I dont have, in order to avoid getting a job. Its not good enough.

    Anyway...that was longer than I meant it to be Lol In closing, Im also held back by how awesome I am....my fans stop me from going out into public

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  7. #36
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    Mine is that I'm a single mime. I get a lot of support from my mum and dad and I guess my other relatives are supportive but ds father has chosen not to have anything to do with him.this angers me and saddens me.his family all have attitude about my ds existence and so I have chosen to remove them all from my fb.the paternal grandad is nice ,he is os.

    I also find it hard to make friends but I just persist and I have a couple and quite a few acquaintances..I am now finally living in a place I enjoy....I just keep thinking of the positive...

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Very true words.

    Mine is.. My whole life has been about career and academic/ business success, but I am now a SAHM. I love spending time with DD, and we have made the choice to not put her in daycare, but because I am not at work I struggle with feelings of self-worth/ defensiveness on a regular basis.

    Might not sound like much of an obstacle at all to some, but it is for me.
    This is me too ..... Especially being able to find self worth
    Last edited by kriista; 18-01-2012 at 10:46.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bodelly View Post
    This is me too ..... Especially being able to find self worth
    When someone asks me what I do and I say "I'm a SAHM" I often tack on "but i used to be ..." I hate that I feel I need to do that.

  10. #39
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    I'm a single Mum, living with my Mum. The kids Father barely acknowledges our kids and has dodged child support as best he can. I suffer from a "major depressive disorder" and find it hard to cope with parenting. I don't have a social life. I am constantly trying to find the money to survive yet if I go back to work, the two youngest would have to be in full time daycare, which would eat up my wage plus I'd be missing out on school things with my eldest and he would have to go in OHSC. I'm overweight and have zero self confidence and motivation.

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laksa View Post
    My husband works in the mines and I have fibromyalgia.
    But I know many people have it much harder than me
    Me too Sucks I hope to god my boys dont suffer my fate!


 
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