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  1. #11
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    DH is great at giving me his brutal...ah, I mean... honest....opinions. When he does this, I have to admit that part of me wants to dig my heels in and NEVER change. But if I'm honest with myself, I only get offended by his comments when there is a grain of truth to them. I usually fire back with something I think he could improve, and agree to both change together if he wants to. I think this has actually been good for both of us in the past.

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    Oh, and yes - I would do something about it if DH mentioned something to me in a kind/ helpful way. I love him, and we're a partnership. I would never ignore something important that he had to tell me like that, BUT I guess that is because I know he would never say something like that unless it was really important.

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    Yes, I would want him to tell me, as we are pretty open and honest with each other on all aspects of our relationship.

    If he said he 'wasn't attracted to me anymore' I would be positively gutted, because to me, that just opens up a whole can of worms to other problems.

    However, if he said, 'that's not an attractive look on you' or something along those lines, I would give him this and go about my merry way.

    Would I change?

    EVERYTHING would change if he wasn't attracted to me anymore, and by change, I don't mean my appearance, I mean the relationship and it's dynamic as a whole.

    Would I change my look if he said it wasn't attractive?

    No, I wouldn't. I value his opinions, but not normally on personal appearance and fashion etc.

  4. #14
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    Yes. I am completely incapable of making a decision and need to check everything with DP.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I think it depends on how it was done.

    E.g., if I was wearing something unflattering then I would like it if DH said "I think the other top was better" or "I don't think that one is very flattering", or even "You've been wearing trackies a lot lately - I really love to see you dressed up."

    If he said "That top makes you look fat" or "Stop wearing trackies, you slob!" - then I would have a problem. (Not that he would ever do that, but just making the point).

    If I had gained weight and was somehow oblivious of it (unlikely!) then I would have no problem with him saying "Let's go to the gym together" or "You haven't been yourself lately - let's try to get a bit healthier and fitter together."

    I would have a problem with "You look fat" or "You're not attractive any more."

    To me the 'not attractive' conversation would have to come after a long period of subtle/ kind discussions, after which I had done nothing at all. I don't see how it could ever come out of the blue, or be a starting point.
    I agree.

    I'd want DH to be honest with me. We haven't had a problem yet. I've put on 10kg in 5 and a half years and one DD and he still always calls me sexy and pretty ect but for ME I feel gross so want to improve myself.

    If he said He'd like me to get healthy again. I'd agree, I DO need to get fitter! (I eat very healthy but NEVER exercise)

    If He said "your fat, lose weight" I'd punch him!! That's a disgusting thing to say

  6. #16
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    I once put on 20kg and then lost it all again and DP didn't even notice i thought he was fibbing until we were watching a video of me at my biggest and he was like "oh wow you were a lot bigger then!" If he told me i needed to lose weight i would be very surprised and it would have to be pretty drastic weight gain i would imagine. So in that case i'd probably pay attention and do something about it, as he'd only bring it up if he thought it were really serious.

    He prefers short hair on girls, but i don't like short hair so meh. He doesn't dislike long hair, but i wouldn't cut it if he did.

    That said, if we're going out on a date I wouldn't choose an outfit/piece of clothing i know he doesn't like. Just like he doesn't wear his gross flouro yellow t-shirt which he loves when we go out together, as i won't hold his hand because I'm scared of radiation poisoning he can wear it out with his mates

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    I'm a 'take me as you see me' kinda girl. If DH doesn't like something I'm wearing, my general reaction is "Meh, I'm not asking YOU to wear it" or "tough shiz love!"
    I do ask his opinion if I'm not sure myself, but generally just buy whatever I like.

    I'm about 10kgs heavier than when I met him (pre pregnancy), and it certainly shows! I recently (tearfully) sent all my pretty size 6 & 8 clothes to the diabetes charity store, and while I p1ssed and moaned about my fat backside, he sat there telling me Im still sexy He certainly makes it easy for me to feel comfortable in anything Im wearing though. He's very affectionate

    I was blonde when we met, and went back to my natural brunette about a year ago, he definitely prefers blonde, but its easier to maintain brown so he can just deal with it and look at old pics

  8. #18
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    I rely on my DH to be honest but it's usually if I ask. He rarely comes out and tells me I look fat and ugly but if I ask he might say things like 'you own more flattering things'. I appreciate his honesty and I generally only ask if I'm uncertain
    myself.

    If I came home with a great haircut that I really liked and he said he hated it, I'd tell him to go jump!

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    Hair etc is MY choice. If I got fat, yeah fair enough let me know that you don't find me attractive, I mean he is the one who has to see me naked lol.

    I wouldn't be offended, it takes a lot to offend me.

  10. #20
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    It's not like I wouldn't know the truth. Would be kinda stating the obvious.


 

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