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  1. #11
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    Your story sounds exactly like mine except that now...my ex has only just starting pay child support and is demanding to have the kids. He thinks that because now he is paying he has all these rights, which in reality he had those rights anyway but he is all about money so go figure! He did the same thing with the DNA test then backed off when he realised he was going to look like a complete fool. Child support, well I leave that to the agency to worry about, like someone said its his legal obligation but for me I couldnt give a hoot about the money, I just wish he would stay away (not a nice person). Anyway im going to mediation soon, he wants visitation, and im not willing to do that without mediation because it will only end up in a sh!t fight I don't need or want. Good luck to him if he thinks he is going to get custody though, although im still slightly scared :-/
    Last edited by F I G J A M; 18-01-2012 at 21:53.

  2. #12
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    I honestly can't think of anything worse than having to hand your child over to someone you don't really know/trust. I really hope you get it sorted

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Annabella For This Useful Post:

    F I G J A M  (18-01-2012)

  4. #13
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    All I keep hearing in the back on my mind is 'the court favours equal shared care', which it does these days. And all those horrible stories you hear of the courts giving custody to parents in the above similar situations. Breathe...ahhhhh. I will try and have faith in the justice system, im really struggling too though at it hasn't even begun :-( Anyway! Back to the original person, sorry didn't mean to take over.

  5. #14
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    Well once the test is back he can never try to deny the child is his, that would be a plus but on the flip side he has a right to see his child and the child has the right to see both parents, so even if you get shared care its what the court sees as the best interest for the child. Good luck to you guys.

  6. #15
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    There's no difference between wanting his money and wanting him to have access to your child, only at law. And the law is worse than useless when it comes to these matters. The CSA exists to shift the cost of welfare off the government, it's not about the rights of children. Child support prevents people who hate each other from getting away from each other and it ensures children grow up with conflict and unhappy parents.

    If you don't want him in your life or the child's life, don't have him pay for anything. I'd protect the child from conflict, raise him/her alone and be financially independent and proud of it.

    He sounds insulting to you, and it doesn't sound like he chose to have a baby or is interested in any case, so you might want to ask yourself why you would want him on this wonderful journey with you and your child.

    Legally, if he's on the birth certificate you're stuck with this situation and the DNA testing will confirm what you already know to be true. If you ignore the request for action by the CSA, then Centrelink will suspend or reduce welfare payments. If you don't need welfare payments, you can ask the CSA to stop acting on your behalf and make your own decisions.

    It's also worth remembering that parental rights continue to exist even if he has no contact for a decade - he might grow up while your child is growing up - and he might want access at some later date. If you want a passport for your child and to travel overseas you will need his consent.

    I do hope you sort it out quickly and it doesn't drag on and on. You'll be amazed by how much emotional energy this nasty business will consume.

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pru40 View Post
    If you ignore the request for action by the CSA, then Centrelink will suspend or reduce welfare payments.
    Very true, unless you speak to a Centrelink social worker and get exemption from making a claim. It has to be a good reason though. (Mine was domestic violence and the retaliation it would have caused)
    But if you need the CS just go ahead with it all.
    I can understand being worried about him just suddenly coming into your child's life. I'm currently going through a similar thing and I've been advised to go to mediation and that the most my xp could hope for was supervised access. My DD's are almost 3, we split up when they were 8 months old and in that time he has seen them 3 times. Both he and I were advised by our solicitors that due to these circumstances that there is no way he would be granted shared care as it wouldn't be in the best interest of my children to send them off with a person they aren't familiar with after only being with me and my now DF who they call dad. (There is a lot more to the story that I won't go into but he's not a safe person for my DD's to be around which added to it)
    And you know what? Xp has no interest in pursuing it now. Shows how much he cares...
    Fingers crossed for you that everything works out.

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pru40 View Post
    The CSA exists to shift the cost of welfare off the government, it's not about the rights of children. Child support prevents people who hate each other from getting away from each other and it ensures children grow up with conflict and unhappy parents.
    exactly its sad really


 

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