So you're ignoring me... because of a car?! WTF?!

**SassyMummy** · 16-01-2012 14:44

DP got me a car. Not the world's fanciest car - a $4500 car. My first car. On Wednesday, I have my test, and all going well, I pass... and now, I have a car to drive.

DP's been at the mines and earning a fair bit up there, as you tend to working at the mines... and he said he's up there for the both of us, so using some of the earnings to buy me a car is something he had intended to do the moment he realised he was earning so much. THe job has gone on longer than planned as well... so more money coming in that we had expected.

MIL though... is ignoring me. From what we can gather from conversations with FIL... it's because of the car. Because DP paid for a car for me. I also assume it has something to do with me not working... but she understands it's a bit of a catch 22. It would have been almost impossible for me to work with a partner at the mines most of hte time and no use of a car. It would relying on public transport (and where we are, it's really quite pathetic and limited) to get to and from work somehow, within daycare hours. Given I have no qualifications and pretty much nil experience... my chances aren't great. When I have looked for work, I haven't bene successful.

So this year, I'm studying... I'm studying now, already, but a uni degree that won't land me in a job anytime soon... so I'm going on a break from that, going back to do Beauty Therapy (already did 2 previous beauty courses but having not used my quals, means they've run out) and getting a job doing that... just to earn some money really. But to do this... I need a car. So now I've got one, and soon enough I'll be qualified and employed, I hope!

How is a car reason to ignore me though? They have been harrassing me to get a car and a licence for ages... but now that it's all kinda falling into place, I've done something wrong. I'm guessing she wanted me to somehow earn the money for a car myself... even though, as I said, I can't really earn until I have a job... and can't really get a job without a car/qualifications/experience (even Woolies/etc don't want me cos I'm not really 18 or whatever, and because not having a car gives me even more restricted working hours thanks to having to get to and from daycare on public transport... making what is a 5 min drive, a 1/2 hour bus trip, etc).

I have been having issues with my ILs lately anyway, and didn't want to see them, but DP stopped on the way home from getting me new glasses (I broke the buggers last night - right before my test! Smart move eh? lol)... to get his Dad to help him do something with my new car... so I had to see MIL cos she was there... ignoring me. Giving me 1 word answers to everything I said. Ignoring me hte rest of the time.

I am so over it. DP took me home and so we're waiting for her to go to work before we return so he and his father can do whatever it is to the car.

I'm so sick of it! It was okay for her to be a SAHM until all of her children finished high school... but it's not okay for me to get anything out of DP's earnings, apparently.

I hate that I get treated like I'm some sort of vermin because he's spent money on me.

**Update Post 12 - the reason why she's ignoring me**

**Scientician** · 16-01-2012 14:52

She sounds very a immature.

I would ignore.

Sounds like you have a plan - don't let her make you feel bad!

**Tam-I-Am** · 16-01-2012 15:01

How passive-aggressive. I agree with Scientician - I'd just ignore her bad behaviour and act as though nothing's going on...because if you say anything to her about it, she'll just deny deny deny and make you feel like you're going crazy (I'm an expert on PA MILs, can you tell?

).

Sorry she's being so nasty though. It's really not on.

**Johnny Poppers** · 16-01-2012 15:10

Congratulations on the car and

with the test on Wed. Sounds like DP is doing what he can to support you and is happy to do so. It is quite obvious that you need the car so that you have more options for work and study.

Dont let her get to you. You have your own wheels

**Scientician** · 16-01-2012 15:12

Good luck with your test!

**pennylane** · 16-01-2012 15:26

Wow.She sounds like my MIL.DH and I have been together for 9 years and had 3 children,I was the main breadwinner for years before we had DD1 and DH got a better job so I would be able to stay home and raise the kids until school years and ever since I had them she's been whinging about when I will go back to work.I own my own business now and that's still not enough.She's worked the same retail job since she was 16,I want more than that for myself.(No offence to retail workers,I did it myself for years and years-Im just over it!)

Ignore her.She's being a cow.

Good luck on your test!!!!

V8 · 16-01-2012 15:29

Don't let her negativity make you upset. She sounds like an idiot. Also woohoo, fantastic news on getting a car and goodluck for Wednesday, things will be so much easier when you've got wheels

**Tam-I-Am** · 16-01-2012 15:29

Originally Posted by pennylane

Wow.She sounds like my MIL.DH and I have been together for 9 years and had 3 children,I was the main breadwinner for years before we had DD1 and DH got a better job so I would be able to stay home and raise the kids until school years and ever since I had them she's been whinging about when I will go back to work.I own my own business now and that's still not enough.She's worked the same retail job since she was 16,I want more than that for myself.(No offence to retail workers,I did it myself for years and years-Im just over it!)

Ignore her.She's being a cow.

Good luck on your test!!!!

She sounds like she wants your DH to spend all his money on her instead

What a joke. Families should be free to work out their own finances with interference or passive aggression from external family members.

**Benji** · 16-01-2012 15:30

I'm sure they will get used to it. They might be a bit old fashioned or have a bee in their bonnet about something or other.

The way I see it is he bought the car for your family. You're a package now, he's not someone you're just dating.

My DP bought me a car recently and I think he drives it more than me!

Happy driving

**BlissedOut** · 16-01-2012 15:53

Originally Posted by Benji

The way I see it is he bought the car for your family. You're a package now, he's not someone you're just dating.

This!

Yay on the new car, I just got my first car too and go for my liscence at the end of Feb!

Forget the haters, my ILs want our other car now because '**** doesn't need a car, she isn't working'... Because my kids just love to stay home all day every day.

It's none of his mums business what he spends his money on, I'd be happy my son was being practical.