Is my child simply just, dumb?

[mysweetboy]

Hello all....

This is going to sound very silly, so I hope to make myself as clear as possible.

I have a beautiful DS who is 2 in just a few weeks. I love him so much and he is my world, but he is just soooo much slower than other kids and he just does not "get" things.

He is very much in his own world. I don't actually think he is "dumb", but he just cannot focus on anything other than what he is looking at at the time. He still is not talking, not even attempting to talk. I was not so worried, I know boys can be slower. My health centre nurse just said to say things slowly, and to name things while I am doing things. I have been doing that for a long time, it makes no difference.

If I am trying to show him something, I can talk till my face is blue, he wont take any notice, just keeps on doing his thing. If I grab him and make him look at me, he briefly looks, still has no idea what I'm on about and moves his attention to what he was doing at the time. This is very frustrating. I see toddlers younger than him ant playgroup responding to their mum, pointing at things and even if they can not talk they try to communicate. My Son doesn't. He just wants to climb things, throw balls and push toy cars. Which is fine, but he just can not focus on what I am saying, nor does he attempt to even pronounce any words after I repeat them.

I feel it is not his fault. Unfortunately, he is just like his mum. I do not profess to be the smartest person, in fact I am far from it. I think most times I'm a dumb dumb too. I was slow at school, a daydreamer. DS is a daydreamer too, I catch him all the time looking at a stare spot, just daydreaming.

My mum used to say when helping me with homework, "its like its so simple you cant believe its that easy" she would say this when helping me solve a problem. Sometimes, I would solve the problem quickly, but it seemed too easy, that there must be a trick, a hidden agenda to the problem, then I would start looking at it in a different light thinking there must be more to it, then I'd get the answer completely wrong!!! Sometimes I surprize myself and get things quick, other times I just cant get it. I remind myself that somethings are just too complex for me to get, I'm just too stupid to do it. My older brother is very smart, and from a young age he would trick me with when helping me with homework. If I knew how to spell something, I would just check with him to make sure I was right. Even if I had it right, he'd tell me I was wrong, so I'd try another way, change it, after all my brother wouldn't be wrong. When I'd hand my work into the teacher and get a bad report on it, I'd think of how hard I tried and I still couldn't get it. It shattered my confidence and I'd stop trying. Is my "dumbness" a result of my brothers humorous ways to confuse me, or am I just naturally dumb and passed it on to my DS? Some say I'm too hard on myself, I say, I'm realistic.

So who knows how this has come about. I guess I'm just looking for an excuse. But I think I know the answer. My Son just isn't that bright, and he gets it from me. It makes me so sad for him. I only want the best for him. Anyone out there with any advise? I am so lost about this.

[OffwiththePixies]

I'm definitely not an expert AT ALL, and I really don't mean to alarm you or worry you and its obviously something you would speak to a professional about, but do you think there is a possibility your son could be on the Autism spectrum?

Just what you say about him not at all attempting to talk, not making eye contact, not look at you, fixated on one particular thing etc... just sounds like it could be a possibility? Might be something worth looking into?

Good luck

[Zombie_eyes]

Has his hearing been checked???

Personally id go speak to your gp about it.

I dont think your child is dumb, but i think there might be something going on.

Goodluck.

[*Cj*]

AH his not even two yet, give the boy a break I wouldn't call him dumb. Go get him looked at

[BigRedV]

If your son is 2 and not saying any words, I think your concerns are valid. I would also recommend a hearing test. Good luck.

[WorkingClassMum]

Firstly, what your brother did is not *smart* or "humourous", it was nasty and spiteful and should have been stopped by your mother.

Secondly, I would see your GP or MHN about your son. Mainly because we can't see him and we are not Dr's or specialists. There are things in your posts that would concern me of it were my son, but may well be simply that he is who he is.

Good.uck and please let us know how he goes, and stop beating yourself up.

[Lil Flower]

Does he respond to sudden sounds ie keys being dropped, a loud bang?

My DS as recently been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and didn't speak until about 3.5y. The first tests that were done, were hearing to rule out deafness.

BTW you are not dumb and neither is your son, you actually sound very smart and well written.

[veve]

Does he respond to sudden sounds ie keys being dropped, a loud bang?

My DS as recently been diagnosed on the autism spectrum and didn't speak until about 3.5y. The first tests that were done, were hearing to rule out deafness.

BTW you are not dumb and neither is your son, you actually sound very smart and well written.

perfect post - I agree with everything above!!!

get his hearing checked - if there isn't anything obvious in those results, ask for a referral to a paediatrician.... to rule out other things (such as autism)

tbh .. the lack of eye contact, and the interest in climbing and cars - all can simply be a developmental thing, but all can also be very common in children with asd ...

ask questions of the GP / specialists hon - if your son does need support - the earlier he gets it .. the better!

xx
Jen

[BlissedOut]

You've pretty much described MY son and he most likely has ASD (same age).

Take him to your GP and ask him to do a CHAT questionnaire and to refer you to hearing tests and a pediatrician.

It's scary to think about, but it's best to get onto it early so he can have early intervention.

If he is in the same boat as my DS then he's most likely not dumb, but exceptional, just in more subtle ways.

All the best.

[SassyMummy]

I thought hearing too - has his hearing been checked recently and does he respond to sounds (rather than words)?

I'd see a GP - it can take AGES to see someone, so the sooner you get in the better.