Puh-leese stop farting!!! When you fall asleep on the gas vents I seriously wonder if you are going to blow us all to smithereens the next time you let one (silently) go.
Please stop laughing when the dog farts and I then start gagging and throw up in the pot plant. It is NOT funny. And I will not be responsible for my actions when I bring out my mafia tendencies and do away with both of you. Or at least banish you somewhere until I can't reach up high in the kitchen again.
Thank you. That is all.