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  1. #21
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    I was born and raised in a catholic family. I fell pregnant when 18 and decided to keep my baby. Fob and I weren't married but were devoted to each other and raising a family. We didn't want to have a "shot gun wedding" but we did want ds to be christened in the catholic church as my family had done for many generations in the same church. We went a talked to the priest and were told no as we weren't married and fob wasn't christened himself.

    We chose Anglican then as they cared enough for our wants, desires and needs. They showed no disproven of our situation and therefore ds was baptized into the Anglican church.

    Fast forward to now.. Fob and I married in an Anglican church 2 years ago and dd was baptized into the Anglican church last August. Even dh is considering it now. We are a family of the Anglican church and that sits well with me because they have never no matter what church discriminated us for any reason.

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    Thanks girls! Some of your posts really made me laugh! I guess i just have to bite the bullet and call the priest!

    I had a meeting with our old priest every time i had the other kids baptised.. i think i just feel guilt because i now have another baby to a different father and no male i find wants to marry me!!!! haha

    My other kids all done their communion and my girls done their confirmation... DS1 never done his confirmation because the priest was really frowning down upon me by then because i didn't attend church every week...

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by tasha74 View Post

    i think i just feel guilt because i now have another baby to a different father and no male i find wants to marry me!!!! haha
    Hon, don't feel guilty because this baby will have a different Father, you have nothing to feel guilty about and if you take those sorts of 'defeatist' feelings/attitude with you to an appointment, you won't be feeling very confident with the Priest giving you the go-ahead.

    I think you should be commended that you are wanting to baptise your child regardless of the obstacles or experience you had with the former Priest, so hold your head high and find an empathetic Priest who you feel comfortable with.

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  5. #24
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    I think it depends on the individual church- I know that my local church (I am anglican, so a little diff) will happily baptise both my kiddies even though we aren't married. DP is Greek Orthodox and our local church wont baptise my kids because a) we arent married, b) DS1 doesnt have a greek name (so doesnt have a patron saint) and I am cross that my elected godparents aren't of the same faith so also cannot perform the ceremony and wont be recognized as such (a person could stand in for them but it seems unfair to be unable to be part of the ceremony).
    Personally, Id find a church/priest you are comfortable with, and in future it will be easy to foster a happy relationship/postive experience with the church for your child.

  6. #25
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    Marriage schmarriage OP!
    DH and I got married after 7 years of being together and yep...its pretty much the same as it was except we have a piece of paper.

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  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonhead View Post
    I'd think it was blatant discrimination TBH.
    The only requirement is that one of the parents is baptised Catholic (I think?) and I know at least 1 of the godparents has to be baptised Catholic.

    Anything else shouldn't matter.
    My ds3 is getting baptised on sunday and neither of his godparents are catholic we were just going to tell them the godfather is but they never asked so oh well lol. We were not married with either of our first 2 boys in fact we were broken up when ds2 was baptised and they didn't turn us back but 20 years back when my mil wanted to get my bil baptised she was going through a divorce at the time and no church would baptise him.

  9. #27
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    *hugs op* dont feel embarrassed by your situation at all.

  10. #28
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    My DD1 was baptised in the Catholic church and we weren't married , no problems at all.
    And having both volunteered and worked in the parish office of my old catholic parish I have never seen any problems with it at all...our priest is lovely and doesn't care weather married,single multiple dads whatever....heck sometimes there is either no father mentioned on baptism paperwork and a few with no mother mentioned!

    The only time it ever gets mentioned to me is when people ring up about getting child baptised and panic as they are not married....and I always reassure them it is fine and not a problem at all.

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by kristyNluke View Post
    My ds3 is getting baptised on sunday and neither of his godparents are catholic we were just going to tell them the godfather is but they never asked so oh well lol. We were not married with either of our first 2 boys in fact we were broken up when ds2 was baptised and they didn't turn us back but 20 years back when my mil wanted to get my bil baptised she was going through a divorce at the time and no church would baptise him.
    Lemonhead is right one godparent must be catholic as they are the ones who are to bring up the child in the religious sense ( if that makes sense) . Seems pretty slack of the church not to check. And in all honestly what is the point of having godparents if no godparents are catholic, as obviously the child will not recieve any catholic guidance from a god parent. I mean you can have 5 godparents and only 1 needs to be catholic . Not trying to be mean at all..just seems odd (unless there is a catholic godparent and they can't make it to ceremony ie working away , and there is a 'stand in" for ceremony). But good on them for baptising anyways.

    And also OP if a priest does refuse too (rare), I wouldn't want that preist baptising my child anyways so many nice preists out there. Maybe ask around friends who have had kids baptised to a nice priest.


 

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