Anyone have one child, but not by choice?

**babybabycakes** · 20-02-2012 16:00

Originally Posted by share a book

Oh I realise that, I meant to the person who said it to you, it was a horrible thing to say and very dangerous. That wasn't at you.

sorry. Hit a nerve. Thanks for clarifying

**Hays** · 09-05-2012 21:18

So I found out yesterday that I can't have anymore children due to medical/genetic risks associated with a genetic condition I was born with my little boy does not have this condition thankfully but the pregnancy nearly killed me physically mentally and emotionally I know the drs are right and what they are saying to me makes sense but where too from here ? Please help ? How do I accept this and move on? And I think if anyone tells me that I'm lucky to have one some people don't even have that I will scream !

**Myztiks#1Fan** · 09-05-2012 21:28

Originally Posted by Hays

So I found out yesterday that I can't have anymore children due to medical/genetic risks associated with a genetic condition I was born with my little boy does not have this condition thankfully but the pregnancy nearly killed me physically mentally and emotionally I know the drs are right and what they are saying to me makes sense but where too from here ? Please help ? How do I accept this and move on? And I think if anyone tells me that I'm lucky to have one some people don't even have that I will scream !

Hugs. I have no advice what so ever as i most likely could have another child but its highly unlikely it will happen so only the one for me.

Have you thought about other avenues like perhaps fostering? Doing the big brother/sister/aunties/uncle programs?

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**Fang** · 29-08-2012 00:21

I'm sure I'm not alone in this situation...

My other half had kids from a previous relationship and didn't want more so he went and got "fixed" :P We had to use IVF to have a baby and now he's said "you've got what you want, that's it, no more". For years I was told I was almost guaranteed to be infertile due to cancer treatment. I just believed it because the chance of me actually being fertile was so incredibly low. It wasn't until we got together that I found out there was a chance I could fall pregnant when I had some hormone testing done for something unrelated. It turned out there wasn't anything wrong with my fertility... so after years of believing I couldn't have kids, I found out I could, but now I've been limited to one. It sucks!

We've had the talks about how I could leave and find someone else if it really starts getting to me, but we love each other and my girl loves her Daddy. I can't and won't ruin that. It is getting to me though!

I really feel for you all. It's the hardest thing. Especially when all the Mums from my mother's group started having kid #2 and asking me about #2... ah well. More love and more time to spend with the one I have

**sparklebug** · 29-08-2012 03:34

I just wanted to say my heart goes out to all of you. I thought I would be in this position but things changed for me. (7yr age gap between DD and DS)
But the reason I'm writing is bc I'm an only child, I know as a mum u worry about everything but seriously being an only child is not that bad for the child.
My Mum always knew she'd have no moreand so I didn't expect siblings, as a young child if I asked questions the answer was always because your perfect, we will have wonderful adventures together and stuff along those lines.
I grew up having a very close relationship to my mum, i believe thats because i was an only child. she was always a friend to me, We took little trips all the time, we had a wonderful time, I always felt loved and did not think I was missing out on anything. well as a teenager I may have left out some stuff during our talks

I was always stunned by the way my friends acted towards their mums while we were teenagers. I was even during the worst phases of teenage angst very close to my mum, even to this day.
We still talk just about every day.
And just for the record only children have higher IQ's and better leadership skills then those with siblings

Hugs to you all.

**hopefully2** · 29-08-2012 05:58

Oh I just stopped in to give you all hugs.

I want to say that I truly understand the desperation to provide your child with a sibling. My Dd asked daily for one. It broke our hearts that we felt unable. We too had secondary infertility. We tried ivf x 3. Got pg on clomid and m/c. It was heart breaking.

We did finally fall pregnant with ovulation induction and did just get baby no 2. Thank gd.

I can't say never give up...that's not my choice but I wanted to share that there is hope.