+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Vic...Bubhubbing!
    Posts
    2,288
    Thanks
    302
    Thanked
    526
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Brood Mare View Post
    I have been in and out of counselling since I was 7yrs old. And my mother is a key element. However I don't feel it helps me. I have been keep diaries as long as that as well.

    I am happy with how things are now. I see her only on the occasion. And when talking to her on the phone I have more control, cause i can end and hang up on her.

    I don't hate my mother her, I feel sorry for her.
    I have come to that place as too....I feel sorry for my mother as well. Much better then hate as that takes up so much engery. My sis still hates mother...and its really stuffing her around as she just cant let it go.

    Sounds like you have come to a really good place then with it all...its just unfortunate that you still have to deal with your mums mistakes from other people by learning the things she has done.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    437
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle_N View Post
    Whats that old saying? 'You can choose your friends but you cant choose your family'. Frankly family can suck! I am estranged from my mother for reasons very similar to yours and it does sadden me that she will never get to see her grandkids however it was the choices SHE made that pushed me to it. But not havingher in my life has made me happy...happy that I dont have to put up with her crap and manipulation and that my children dont have to experience that as well. Being a mother isnt just about givng birth, its about nuturing your children and teaching them how to be the best people they can be. It sounds like your mother has been very self-centered.

    Have you thought about seeking counselling? Just may help to get all this sorted out for you....especially if you are still in contact with your mum you made need some defences against the manipulation.

    Its ok not to like your mum or not like the things she has done...maybe just keep her at arms length at the moment as you have a bubs on board that you need to concentrate on now so you can focus on your family.


  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5,687
    Thanks
    1,089
    Thanked
    4,057
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    It's hard to accept your parents as being deeply flawed and when the realization hits you it's painful, confusing, humiliating and distressing.

    Huge hugs.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Launceston
    Posts
    13,466
    Thanks
    732
    Thanked
    2,355
    Reviews
    35
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    babe, I'm so sorry you have has to go through this your whole life.

    I'm always here if you want to chat.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    9,574
    Thanks
    1,327
    Thanked
    1,478
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by waterlily View Post
    babe, I'm so sorry you have has to go through this your whole life.

    I'm always here if you want to chat.

    Thank you Miss Lily!

    As long as I have the support of my DH, who has been more or less my backbone for sometime, I can confront my mother. It's still hard to. But when that arguement erupted last year, she treaded and said somethings that I could and would not tolerate. It showed me that I was stronger then she was. It was.. kind of in a way liberating.

  6. #16
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,209
    Thanks
    466
    Thanked
    1,796
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It's quite earth shattering when you come to the realisation that you are stronger, kinder, etc etc than your parents. As kids, we hold our parents up as demi gods almost. They can do no wrong! But at some point, and I think it's different for everyone, we realise that they DON'T in fact know everything and they can be deeply flawed human beings. I'm so glad that you have found peace in yourself regarding how you feel about your mother.


 

Similar Threads

  1. What are some of the little things...
    By mum2bubba in forum General Chat
    Replies: 97
    Last Post: 11-10-2013, 20:12
  2. Am I seeing things???
    By OurSerendipity in forum Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 10-09-2012, 17:53
  3. What and when to buy things???
    By curiouschildcare in forum Family Finances
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 19-07-2012, 21:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Ro&Co
Share magical moments this Christmas with this gorgeous gingerbread house. Exclusively available in Brisbane, with FREE delivery in Brisbane Metro areas. Each Christmas Centrepiece is unique and made to order, from $240.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!