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  1. #1
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    Default Do you ever feel guilty?

    For the lack of attention your kids get somedays?
    I'm starting to wonder if DD would be better of in childcare 3 days a week.

    Currently I'm starting an online business. And it takes up alot of my time.

    I've been alternating my days, as in working on Monday, SAHM & house wife on tues, working on wed (ok, be both know it's NEVER one of the other) but basically I don't leave the office on 'working' days. DD is left to amuse herself. We always have lunch & dinner together and always read atleast 1 book. But that's the extent of 'our time' on 'working' days.

    Today's the first day I really felt bad. Not realizing the time. Came out of the office to find shed helped herself to a pack of crackers she'd found in her nappy bag and fallen asleep on the lounge no mummy/daughter lunch time today.

    On mummy days we clean together, go to swimming lessons, lunch at the park, play games etc etc.

    I guess I keep her out of care because it's expensive and because I want her home (selfish I know) and because she's a very needy child with serious separation anxiety.

    But if she went to care, do you think shed be learning more then through her own discovery at home?
    Last edited by AndrewTheEmu; 11-01-2012 at 11:06.

  2. #2
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    I'm all for daycare. I think kids learn a great deal there. But if it was going to cause more angst than anything for my child to go one/two days per week- I'd consider not doing it.

    I don't think a child being left to their own devices is a bad thing. Teaches them a lot of useful skills- esp help with the seperation anxiety.

    You could always explore other 'systems' though. Working each day up until lunch time? Or afternoon with DD having a day nap? Just working through whats best I suppose.

    Also, is it probable that you will always be this busy? Will it die down once your set up?

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    That's a tough call. My son is anxious, and dc at that age wasn't beneficial to him. Well, I can only guess.

    Given his personality, I think he would rather be bored but secure, than occupied and anxious.

    For a non anxious or older child, I would say at least part of the day in care.

    Can you break it up more that you spend, say 30 minutes intense quality time playing, and then 2 hours working while she plays or watches tv?

    Is it just short term? I don't think it's doable long term for her to be left to her own devices while you work.

    It's tough to make a living when you have an anxious child.

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    Just to clarify, she's under 2, isn't she?

    What about trialling occasional care for a few hours a day? Or fdc one day, but just send her part of the day.

    Dc is not that expensive for one child. Mine is 74 pd in a long daycare centre. But you get 50% back. If you're eligible for ccb, it's even less.

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    I work from home three days a week, and have never felt guilty about sending my girl to child care those three days.

    There's no way I'd ever get anything done if she was home. She won't amuse herself for more than maybe 10 or 15 minutes at a time, so I'd be stopping and starting all day.

    I generally do a bit of work on days she's home, but only the absolute essentials, and even then I usually have to put on a wiggles DVD to keep her entertained!

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    OMG I came on bubhub just now with this exact question in my mind!

    I too am in the process of starting an online business and am really busy with it - it's on my mind 24/7 and at the moment my website is getting done so it's full-on full steam ahead right now.

    MY 17 month-old goes to my sisters childcare centre 3 days a week and these days are my work days but I always collect him early as he is still little, and I miss him!

    But even on the days he is home I get distracted a lot and always seem to be checking my phone/emails and today I hardly played with him at all. I was just sitting here feeling so guilty.... he almost fell asleep in his highchair tonight because I was busy writing an email and didn't even notice he'd finished his dinner...

    I wonder if men feel the same kind of guilt! It's def a Mum thing... it's in our blood....

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    PS. I'm all for daycare/childcare centres too.... it's good social interraction and my sone loves it. He still plays alongside other kids moreso than with them, but he gets a lot out of it and they do so many cool activities. I would defninitely not send him if he hated it, but all of the kids there love it - they love to be around other kids. And as a single Mum, I need the break to work.


 

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