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  1. #1
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    Default Help me help DP feel better :)

    I have always had abit of a concern regarding our gorgeous (almost) 3 year old son's language skills. I have seen doctors, spoken to other professionals and none of them showed any concern. We heard thing's like "he is a boy, his an only child, his the first grandchild, nephew etc, I am a younger Mum and don't have alot of friends with kids so he isn't exposed to other kids on a regular, he knows his colours, body parts, how to read numbers etc, and talking age isn't until 3-4 years" I heard all these things often and was reassured it wasn't a problem. I got told the best thing to do was to put him into preschool and his language will start to develop almost immediatly.

    SO Ds started preschool on Monday. His loving it. Hardly an sepearation anxiety at all, wakes up excited for it and seems very happy. He loves being around other kids. However, on day 1 they scheduled a meeting with myself and DP in regards to his speech. We had this meeting this morning.

    We were handed a document of results from DS speech assesment they performed on him the day before. They never told me they were going to assess him-I did find that a little annoying, but no biggy. In a nutshell we were told by the owner of the preschool that he is "WAY behind in speech development" My DP has a problem with the word WAY behind and immediatly became defensive. I know he is feeling a combination of anger, guilt, denial and that feeling all us parents have that 'our perfect child isn't perfect'. DS has been referred to immediate speech therapy as they don't want his social skills being affected. DS despearatly wants to join in with other kids, try's too, but doesn't understand so walks away and entertains himself. This worries them as they don't want his social skills to regress.

    I'll get to the point now - DP is feeling pretty down. I tried explaning that speech therapy is not a deadly diagnosis, he isn't stupid (not that DP thinks he is stupid, but he is worried the preschool teachers thinks DS is) that this is very common and we are getting help at a really crucial time before school starts etc. He is just so down..

    How do I explain this to him? to ease his feelings? to show him that we weren't being attacked?

    Any suggestions/advice would be appreciated!!

    TIA.
    Last edited by MflUicM; 11-01-2012 at 09:46.

  2. #2
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    I haven't been through this myself, but my friend's son was about the same age as yours when he was diagnosed with a speech developmental delay. He used to get frustrated that other kids (and adults) wouldn't understand him and as a result was quite shy.

    He went to speech therapy once a week and my friend practiced with him every day. It made a huge difference and he is now a happy outgoing confident boy and is actually doing work for the grade above him at school, and if you met him now, you wouldn't realise he'd previously had a speech problem. I'm not sure if that helps, but I just wanted to share and wish you goodluck

    Also, is your DP able to come along to the appointment with the speech therapist too?

    They might be able to reassure him and help him feel a bit more positive as they will concentrate on what can be done to help your DS catch up, and finding a solution (rather than focusing on the problem as the preschool staff did).

  3. #3
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    Default Let DP know

    Carers/early childhood teachers are wonderful and have wonderful training and skills but they are 'screeners'. Their task is to identify children for early intervention which they have done. The speech therapist is the one who will let you and dp know the extent of it so until then try to stay calm and not envisage the worst. As first time parents you are not expected to pick things easily. How could you?

    Our neighbour was 3 when he started with a speech therapist. He has dyspraxia and at first I couldn't understand him at all and he used to get upset that I couldnt and I used to try really hard to concentrate that it made me sad for him.My son aged 4 would walk away from him because he couldn't understand him either. He will be 4 next week and with the practice he has done in the past 6 months as well as the scheduled speech therapy appointments he has gained confidence, language skills and a great vocabulary. He almost leaps into my lap with joy when he realises him and I are having a conversation! My son will now play properly with him and this child is a much happier wee boy. His mum has been told that by the age of 6/7 no one would know there was ever an issue. Yes there is a problem now but the daycare were on to it, picked it up and your little one will reap the benefits. As for the daycare thinking ds is stupid: verbal language is only one form of expression. The carers can see that your little fulla has other capabilities which do not put him in the 'stupid' category. These staff are trained and have a valuable wealth of knowledge.
    Last edited by funnymama; 12-01-2012 at 03:20.


 

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