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  1. #1
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    Default Unwanted medical procedures

    Hi All,

    Something I've seen a lot of on BH is people talking about doctors, midwives, obstetricians etc. performing medical procedures either without asking or, in some cases, despite explicit instructions to the contrary.

    Now, I plan on being around for the labour & birth, & my wife has given me pretty clear instructions on what she wants & doesn't want. So I see it as being my 'job' to ensure her wishes are complied with. To the letter.

    I'd love to hear from hubbers who are also medical professionals: what's the best way to go about this?

    And likewise, from hubbers who've experienced difficulties with medical professionals: do you have any tips (or tales of how not to do it)?

    TIA for any advice and suggestions. The thought of someone overriding my wife's decisions on what to do with her body makes my blood boil ...

  2. #2
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    Hi there
    I suggest writing her wishes down on paper like a birthplan and discussing this with your care provider
    Then everyone is on the same page


    Bfp!!! Little bug due 25/6/12

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The sooper nanny For This Useful Post:

    duncan_bayne  (10-01-2012),Guest1234  (10-01-2012)

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by The sooper nanny View Post
    Hi there
    I suggest writing her wishes down on paper like a birthplan and discussing this with your care provider
    Then everyone is on the same page
    Awesome idea Also that'd reduce the odds of forgetting something or becoming confused ... both of which are natural states for me half of the time

  5. #4
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    Hi

    Is this your first pregnancy? i can tell you now i know no one who has had a brith go to plan and unless you have thought of every eventuality, making every one obey your wifes wishes to the letter might be a tall order, but im sure she wont mind any decisions you dohave to make, having a little bundle of joy kinda makes you forget all that went wrong.

    Im not in the health care are abut my husband is a carer, both age and disability and even he was just swept along for the ride. There is alot going on and the nurses etc just tend to do what they think you want.

    You might just have to tell them when you get there to run every thing by you first and when shift change comes and the new nurses coem to introduce themselves let them know too.

    If you go in guns blazing and telling them what for you will get them off side straight away. They will see it as you telling them how to do their job. Gently gently seems to works here, but you might have a different environment at your hospital.

    If they do just start doing things they never seem to mind you asking what they are doing.

    I would also reccomend giving them a few coppies of any plan and information about your wifes wishes at the pre admittance meeting, where thay discuss any birth plans etc. That way they are well documented and every one checks the files.

    The only situation i can see them not consulting you is when there is no other option or if the baby is in distress.

    My last pregnancy, which was my first, every one just did what they want, no matter what my file said and i just had to say hey, what are you doing? Once they were aware they were apologetic, but then nothing went right with me.

    hope that helps.

  6. #5
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Hi

    Im not a medical person but I was just wondering if you have heard of the beer and bubs sessions that are run in most states? I'm not sure if I can pop a link in but if you google it it should not be that hard to find.

    I am really hesitant to suggest that your wife hand over all decision making to anyone or that she even ask that they don't ask her questions but direct them all to you. My best best piece of advice is that regardless of what comes up (short of a massive bleed!) you ask the care providers to step outside while you discuss what to do, this gives you and your wife privacy to really discuss things without feel pressured by someone else in the room.

    Personally I have never experienced during birth a procedure that I have not given consent too but I do know lots of women who have even with their partners in the room. Always remember that no one can stop your wife from refusing any procedures or from getting up and leaving but you can be removed from the room.

    I do advocate writing a birth preferences rather than plan, as even our own plans do sometimes go astray, remember tokeep is short, sharp and shiny. Keep it relevent! You don't need to include things you want to do in early labour at home or environmental things that you as a support person will be in charge of (you could write a list for yourself if you need a reminder). Think about including how your wife wants privacy managed (everyone will tell your wife that she won't care who is looking or in the room but for some women it does matter). Research your choices and make informed ones, don't base these decisions on fear.

    Thats all I can write right now, sorry!


 

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